I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!! | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 75846318 United States 07/06/2020 02:16 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677 so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10 minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide! I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room, well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which are in the living room, she says I love videogames! So I say "hey those machines are open for business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?" She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"... Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up? I feel so embarrassed... Lol |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77786543 United States 07/06/2020 02:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77786543 United States 07/06/2020 02:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So the cliffnote version. Dude orders pizza, hops in shower, soaping down that hot cock. Super hot chick with pizza rings the bell. Dude isn't ready, so she comes in(they never do that) and plays with all his super rad video games. Smallchat ensues, but he's unaware of his thick semi hanging out of his pants. She's enamored by his awesome cock, awkwardness ensues and she leaves rapidly while being sure to reiterate that he's "hot stuff". LOL, It's like a 12 year old writing fiction for a 90's gamer mag.... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 73761518 Canada 07/06/2020 02:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | You've been watching way too much porn, bro. Now every scenario you go through you're going think it's gonna turn out like a porn scene. You go to the grocery store and will be dumbfounded as to why the bagger chick didn't entice you to go to the back storage area and fuck. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79027487 Ireland 07/06/2020 02:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79077555 Canada 07/06/2020 02:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79027487 Ireland 07/06/2020 02:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So the cliffnote version. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77786543 Dude orders pizza, hops in shower, soaping down that hot cock. Super hot chick with pizza rings the bell. Dude isn't ready, so she comes in(they never do that) and plays with all his super rad video games. Smallchat ensues, but he's unaware of his thick semi hanging out of his pants. She's enamored by his awesome cock, awkwardness ensues and she leaves rapidly while being sure to reiterate that he's "hot stuff". LOL, It's like a 12 year old writing fiction for a 90's gamer mag.... Read again... He said he answered the door for her. lol It's very believable. If you know people who've worked in the industry they have some crazy stories |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 16111192 United States 07/06/2020 02:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77786543 United States 07/06/2020 02:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So the cliffnote version. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77786543 Dude orders pizza, hops in shower, soaping down that hot cock. Super hot chick with pizza rings the bell. Dude isn't ready, so she comes in(they never do that) and plays with all his super rad video games. Smallchat ensues, but he's unaware of his thick semi hanging out of his pants. She's enamored by his awesome cock, awkwardness ensues and she leaves rapidly while being sure to reiterate that he's "hot stuff". LOL, It's like a 12 year old writing fiction for a 90's gamer mag.... Read again... He said he answered the door for her. lol It's very believable. If you know people who've worked in the industry they have some crazy stories Very believable...... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 51750288 United States 07/06/2020 02:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77786543 United States 07/06/2020 02:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 51750288 United States 07/06/2020 02:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 16111192 United States 07/06/2020 02:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78964055 United States 07/06/2020 02:32 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 57897053 United States 07/06/2020 02:33 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Travis Bickle Vigilantes need love too.... User ID: 72715998 United States 07/06/2020 02:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77786543 United States 07/06/2020 02:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 16111192 United States 07/06/2020 02:40 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 72624587 United States 07/06/2020 02:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79048439 United States 07/06/2020 02:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677 so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10 minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide! I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room, well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which are in the living room, she says I love videogames! So I say "hey those machines are open for business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?" She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"... Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up? I feel so embarrassed... ...and then you woke up, look down, and notice you still have a 2 inch micropenis. Good story though needle dick. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 76377772 Canada 07/06/2020 02:54 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78425261 United States 07/06/2020 02:56 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77786543 United States 07/06/2020 02:59 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP is on point. I ran a pizza place. Whenever someone put DTF in the notes I'd send out the hottest 18 year old to deliver the pizzas. They'd hang out, play video games and he'd bang her for hours and then eat pizza. This is real people, anyone that says otherwise is totally an shut in virgin, just like they claim these people to be that have wicked pizza orgies. They just can't handle the truthsss. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79115012 United States 07/06/2020 03:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 74107675 United States 07/06/2020 03:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78058450 United States 07/06/2020 03:38 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78317263 Sweden 07/06/2020 03:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77786543 United States 07/06/2020 03:41 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 62787301 United States 07/06/2020 03:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I applaud the OP for channeling his incel rage into creative writing. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78317263 When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade. When life gives you a lemon, take out your swiss army knife and carve a small hole in it and fuck it while pretending it's a hot pizza delivery girl. You forgot the microwaving for 15 seconds part |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 72815004 Canada 07/06/2020 03:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I applaud the OP for channeling his incel rage into creative writing. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78317263 When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade. When life gives you a lemon, take out your swiss army knife and carve a small hole in it and fuck it while pretending it's a hot pizza delivery girl. naw honeymelons warm one up for 83 seconds in the microwave. you figure out the rest... |