When a guy goes to bed, he likes it cooler as he sleeps more soundly and wants to make love so he can fully relax.

Ladies go take a shower trying to relax, then get in bed and start fretting over problems and so get wound up. Scented candles used routinely set a pattern that "it's relaxation time now". So like vanilla or gardenia is good for that. They generally want affection and cuddling to relax, not necessarily making love. She probably wants it warmer.

It's a terrible idea to get wound up by talking about some problem right before bed. It's not the time.