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"classified...flesh eating....classified"

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 302580
United States
10/14/2007 06:25 PM
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"classified...flesh eating....classified"
Rep. John Haller (R-PA) introduces a bill that will allocate (classified) dollars over the next (classified) years to fight flesh-eating (classified).

[link to vids.myspace.com]

WTF!

i want to know what stopped him mid sentence and forced a "Jesus!" out of him but of course it's.... classified!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 309819
United States
10/14/2007 06:29 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
Well that was certainly interesting. Sounds like an invasion from outer space.... "their otherworldly strength"

I vote for a pin on this one, with a gold star for whoever can find the unexpurgated text of the bill.....
need to know
User ID: 282663
United States
10/14/2007 06:31 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 311387
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10/14/2007 06:31 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
bacteria... remember? It took some politician in Quebec's leg a few years ago....

This shit is scary!
EricTheAwful

User ID: 296455
United States
10/14/2007 06:35 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
I noticed he said "Jesus" after "Urban Areas"....This should serve notice to "GET THE HELL OUT OF THE CITY !"
As a man begins to live more seriously within: He begins to live more seriously without.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 222528
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10/14/2007 06:49 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
This is scary. It shouldn't be classified if it has the possibility of affecting 80 - 90 percent of the population!
Boomerang

User ID: 299985
United Kingdom
10/14/2007 06:55 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
I'm not sure what to make of this. I heard mention of it being an exercise.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 312309
Canada
10/14/2007 06:57 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
flesh eating disease? nasty shit.
HannibalTheCannibal

User ID: 301992
United Kingdom
10/14/2007 06:58 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
What the fuck?

Anybody have a transcript of this.
There is NO PROFIT IN PEACE, There is NO PROPHET IN PEACE.

Resident GLP Religion HATER and PROUD Atheist.

Carl Sagan "A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism."

[link to img181.imageshack.us]
~Sir John~

User ID: 312346
United Kingdom
10/14/2007 07:01 PM

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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
"...due to their enormous size and otherwordly strength"

Doesn't sound like bacteria to me.

My God what are they planning for?
HannibalTheCannibal

User ID: 301992
United Kingdom
10/14/2007 07:03 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
Want me to work on a rough transcript, give me 5 minutes to type it up.

working on it now
There is NO PROFIT IN PEACE, There is NO PROPHET IN PEACE.

Resident GLP Religion HATER and PROUD Atheist.

Carl Sagan "A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism."

[link to img181.imageshack.us]
Boomerang

User ID: 299985
United Kingdom
10/14/2007 07:06 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
I see the date that the video was loaded to that site as today? When was the live broadcast video made?

Edit: loaded to the site 2 days ago
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 103782
United States
10/14/2007 07:07 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
"...due to their enormous size and otherwordly strength"

Doesn't sound like bacteria to me.

My God what are they planning for?
 Quoting: ~Sir John~



wtf
EricTheAwful

User ID: 296455
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10/14/2007 07:11 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
I listened to the whole thing........ Damn if it doesn't sound like the script for "28 Days Later"....
As a man begins to live more seriously within: He begins to live more seriously without.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 312352
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10/14/2007 07:11 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
I didn't know the Onion had a political station.

Nitwits... bsflag iamwith
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 312352
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10/14/2007 07:12 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
It was funny. Nice commentary on the REAL state of things.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 226992
United States
10/14/2007 07:12 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
Thats no moon...

Its a space station!
5a
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 239210
Canada
10/14/2007 07:13 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
I listened to the whole thing........ Damn if it doesn't sound like the script for "28 Days Later"....
 Quoting: EricTheAwful


Exactly what I was thinking myself!
Boomerang

User ID: 299985
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10/14/2007 07:13 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
Had me going there.

I see onion span. haha
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 309819
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10/14/2007 07:14 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
Onion News Network... it's a prank.

Google around a little....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 311721
United Kingdom
10/14/2007 07:15 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
this aint about flesh eating shit

other worldly !! protected underground birthing centres !! because of their size !! wtf!!

answers now!

and they even have a date!!

sounds like an invasion!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 311721
United Kingdom
10/14/2007 07:17 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
onion phew
EricTheAwful

User ID: 296455
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10/14/2007 07:18 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
Gotta love a good prank.....
As a man begins to live more seriously within: He begins to live more seriously without.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 311796
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10/14/2007 07:18 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
How about that part about body disposal & the drafting of a new bill of rights?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 263324
United States
10/14/2007 07:19 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
MRSA is condidered a flesh eating infection. And it is out of the hospitals, and in Urban areas.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 311721
United Kingdom
10/14/2007 07:21 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
ITS A PRANK AND ITS ABOUT ZOMBIES!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 103782
United States
10/14/2007 07:22 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
had cannibal going LOL!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 311721
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10/14/2007 07:22 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
replace most of the word classified with zombie/s and it will make sense.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 107433
United States
10/14/2007 07:27 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
It doesn't make sense, what does it mean?

Can someone explain.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 309819
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10/14/2007 07:30 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
It doesn't make sense, what does it mean?

Can someone explain.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 107433



Someone played around and created this video. It's not real...it's just a joke...you are supposed to go "ha ha" and move on to the next interesting item....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 301992
United Kingdom
10/14/2007 07:33 PM
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Re: "classified...flesh eating....classified"
Best Transcribing i can do, pretty sure its 99.9% accurate.

Congress shall now vote for approval of HR 8791 Homeland terrorism preparedness bill, err said bill requests emergency response funding up to and including, im sorry this section is CLASSIFIED er dollars to prepare for national level terrorist attack and or attack from CLASSIFIED funding for first responding personnel and vechiles would be doubled if said attack leads to more than 80% of national population being affected by CLASSIFIED this funding shall commence in conjunction with the first attack on erm CLASSIFIED or the first large scale outbreak of CLASSIFIED depending upon which comes first, civilian and military units shall be trained in containment and combat of CLASSIFIED including irradiated CLASSIFIED with possibility of CLASSIFIED airborne CLASSIFIED flesh eating CLASSIFIED and or all of the above in such event as CLASSIFIED viewing CLASSIFIED escape are released or otherwise become uncontrollable, Air Force units my also be directed to combat said CLASSIFIED due to their enormous size and otherworldly strengths, should event occur in urban areas, Jesus, thats CLASSIFIED far surpassing our darkest nightmares should casualties exceed CLASSIFIED body disposal actions shall be halted and associated resources shall be re allocated to CLASSIFIED underground CLASSIFIED protected birthing centers er new bill of rights shall be drafted and approved by CLASSIFIED, having now reviewed the bill i ask you to now please cast your votes.





GLP