From the Flight Deck

So I'm flying from Chicago to Las Vegas. We're at cruising altitude and the captain comes on and gives us the speech about flight time and how were supposed to "sit back and relax". What he didn't realize however is that his mic never disconnected from the PA system. He starts talking to his co-pilot about how shitty the airline business is, how he hates his job and "what he REALLY need RIGHT NOW is a hot cup of coffee and a fucking BLOW JOB". "I hear that" says the copilot.

Meanwhile the lead male flight attendant goes completely pale, drops what he was doing and thus begins a MAD panicked dash to the flight deck at which point an elderly female passenger cackles out from the back of the plane, "DON"T FORGET THE COFFEE"!!!!!