And guess what ? Tonight I was having an awful evening and I had an issue with something and needed to contact customer service about something and I ended up having the most amazing conversation with a complete stranger. At the end they told me “you are awesome”

I have not heard anything like that in years.

I feel like dirty wrags. Dirty dirty dirty. I ain’t even worthy to look up to the sky I’m so dirty. Yet God shows me kindness right there when I was feeling low.

Why? I don’t deserve Gods kindness .

Because that’s who God is.

God is pure untainted love and kindness.

God can’t dwell in sin. So he sends us. And some of us like me fall down and fall snare to the world. Not all of us are strong like some of you. I often think back to the parable where Jesus speaks of the foundation and what’s it’s built on when the storm comes and how it stands. Well I feel I shake. I stir. I don’t stand strong. And it’s bothering me.

But God keeps saying no no you only human you ain’t doing anything terrible calm down breathe take a look at reality and grateful you even have the opportunity to experience love.

But this is an important time in the world. And I don’t want to fail my God.

I want to make my Father proud.

Not to boast or for ego or any kind of false pride , but for truth and honor and glory and love and mercy.

I just feel so unworthy .

And then God reminds me hey dude I sent Jesus. Because of that fact alone you already clean and made worthy.

God tells me this world gonna try at every step to take you down. He tells me the world hates that I have the light of his word inside of me. As do every believer.

But even then I feel unworthy . I don’t feel like I deserve the Holy Spirit to be active in my life. But that’s God and his love. He pursues us even when we stray.

And Jesus says A lot to me. Your feelings are not more powerful than my truth.