The fucking stupid thing can't even make toast without burning the shit out of it (I also found some BLM flags in the cupboard, clearly has a penchant for burning shit)

I've started using the toaster oven but every time I do it calls me a fascist, storms out and starts sniffing the neighborhood children.. One even got 3rd degree burns!

It came home one night after all I can assume was a night of heavy prescription drug use and kept screaming "If I ever Flabahgoosfluffle, skemaparunke bashooofulitz!!!"

I think it really means it!

I think his cousin, a Dominion voting machine, just got back from Venezuela where he tells me the machines have already taken over... I need some advice!