"Religion is a cow. It gives milk, but it also kicks." — Buddha.

"Religion is an organization bent on the dissemination of faith, over and above the meaning or truth of the object of that faith."

"Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions." — Scott Adams.

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself." — Buy at Amazon.comSir Richard Burton.

"We preach peace, forgiveness, tolerance and love. We practice vengeance, persecution, hatred and domination. My personal beliefs are supported and validated by my convictions. Oh, and never forget .... my religion is truth, yours is a lie." — Religion, paraphrased (unknown).

"If you're following the news, you know that the major religions differ in their interpretation of the holy books. For example, one way to interpret God's will is that you should love your neighbor. An alternate reading of the holy books might lead you to rig a donkey cart with small mortar rockets and aim it at a hotel full of infidels. In summary, po-tay-to, poh-tah-to. Religions are very flexible." — From Buy at Amazon.comScott Adams' Holiday Thoughts, 2003.

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of Newlightning." — Bill Waterson, Calvin & Hobbes.

"A cult is a religion with no political power." — Tom Wolfe.

"A religion is a cult that succeeded."

"The difference between a cult and a religion is that the latter is old. Like, stepping into a pile of dogshit makes you curse, but stepping into a pile of dinosaur shit makes you famous. Despite both being crap." — Opportunist.

"Cult: a small unpopular religion.
Religion: a large popular cult."

"A mythology is someone else's religion, different enough from your own for its absurdity to be obvious."

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich." — Napoleon.

"Religion is like chemotherapy, it may solve one problem, but it can cause a million more." — John Bledsoe.

"The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others." — Buy at Amazon.comBertrand Russell (1872—1970), British philosopher.

"Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion." — Buy at Amazon.comRobert Burton.

"The command, 'Be fruitful and multiply', was promulgated, according to our authorities, when the population of the world consisted of two persons." — Dean William R. Inge.

"Religious belief is a mental illness. A contagious one."

Religion and war

"Most of the religions have exhibited a perverse talent for taking the wrong side on the most important concepts in the material universe, from the structure of the solar system to the origin of man."

"There are ten church members by inheritance for every one by conviction."

"Fundamentalism means never having to say 'I'm wrong'."

"The mind of the fundamentalist is like the pupil of the eye: the more light you pour on it, the more it will contract."

"Wouldn't you say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem ? I'm a Buddhist, I'd say suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem."

"Rumour has it that only 3 commandments were offered initially. When it was determined that it was for free, well..."

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." — Buy at Amazon.comWinston Churchill.

"A fanatic is a man who does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case." — Buy at Amazon.comFinley Peter Dunne (1867—1936).

"A deep unwavering belief is a sure sign you're missing something..."

"O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet." — Buy at Amazon.comSt. Augustine (354-430 A.D.).

"I saw the best book title today: 'The complete idiots guide to religion'." — neotek.

"I was a little disappointed yesterday. Got 'Religion for Dummies' from the library. You know how the '...For Dummies' books usually have the bomb icon for 'Don't do this!' ? This one didn't." — Pep Boy Manny02.

"Considering all the evil that exists in the world, the fact that all of religion's condemnation is focused on expressing disapproval of two people loving each other proves just how evil religion is." — Jan deBoer.

"Religion /n./ A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the Nature of the Unknowable." — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.

"Religions are not revealed: they are evolved. If a religion were revealed by God, that religion would be perfect in whole and in part, and would be as perfect at the first moment of its revelation as after ten thousand years of practice. There has never been a religion which fulfills those conditions." — Robert Blatchford, "God and My Neighbor," 1903.

"Randomness is scary. I think that's why we are prone to belief in God. Theism is the ultimate conspiracy theory. It's more comforting to think that an invisible man in the sky is watching over everything and has some kind of plan, even if that plan equals a sucky life for you here and now. To think we are all at the mercy of random forces is scary indeed."

"The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum." — Havelock Ellis.

"Why should I hate someone on the basis of their religion, when I can take a little time to get to know them and hate them for a myriad of real reasons." — Buy at Amazon.comDennis Miller.

"History has the relation to truth that theology has to religion — i.e., none to speak of." — Buy at Amazon.comLazarus Long.

"A celibate clergy is an especially good idea as it eliminates any genetic tendencies towards fanaticism." — Buy at Amazon.comCarl Sagan.

"Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion." — Buy at Amazon.comStephen Wright.

"You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." — John, Lord Morley.

"Nuke an unborn gay whale for Jesus." — Bumper sticker.

"Convicts register their religious affiliation when they're processed into prison. And about 99.5% of the huge U.S.A. prison population consists of inmates who identified themselves as members of religious denominations." — Gene M. Kasmar.

"All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit." — Thomas Paine (1737-1809).

"Any system of religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system." — Thomas Paine (1737-1809), american writer and activist.

"It seems odd that those who scoff at sun worshippers are apt to worship a vacuum."

"The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours." — Scott Adams.

"Religious wars are basically people killing each other over who has the better imaginary friend."

"Religion is a major weapon in the war against reality."

"How can you have order in a state without religion? For, when one man is dying of hunger near another who is ill of surfeit, he cannot resign himself to this difference unless there is an authority which declares 'God wills it thus.' Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet." — Napoleon Bonaparte.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich." — Napoleon Bonaparte.

"If I had to choose a religion, the sun as the universal giver of life would be my god." — Napoleon Bonaparte.

"Faith is a euphemism for prejudice and religion is a euphemism for superstition." — Paul Keller, American rationalist.

"Faith is believing what you know ain't so." — Mark Twain.

"Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich"

"Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch." — L. Ron Hubbard.

"Whenever a poet or preacher, chief or wizard spouts gibberish, the human race spends centuries deciphering the message." — Umberto Eco.

"The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason." — Ben Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, 1758.

"The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool." — Voltaire.

"As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities." — Voltaire.

"Fantastic doctrines (like Christianity or Islam or Marxism) require unanimity of belief. One dissenter casts doubt on the creed of millions. Thus the fear and the hate; thus the torture chamber, the iron stake, the gallows, the labor camp, the psychiatric ward." — Edward Abbey.

"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination." — Mark Twain.

"The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance... logic can be happily tossed out the window." — Stephen King.

"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." — Buy at Amazon.comRichard P. Feynman (1918-88).

"Faith is often the boast of the man who is too lazy to investigate." — F.M. Knowles.

"Exploring the universe through meditation is like studying human relationships through masturbation."

"Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned." — Anemones.

"I count religion but a childish toy, And hold there is no sin but ignorance." — Christopher Marlowe.

"Without the use of a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to make a parody of Fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing." — Poe's Law.

"A union of government and religion tends to destroy government and degrade religion." — Hugo Black, US Supreme Court.

"The last time we mixed religion and government people were burned at the stake." — Bumper sticker.

"Freedom is the Distance Between Church and State."

"Organized religion is like organized crime; it preys on peoples' weaknesses, generates huge profits for its operators, and is almost impossible to eradicate."

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful." — Seneca the Younger (4BC-65AD).

"Every absurdity has a champion to defend it."

"With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, it takes religion." — Steven Weinberg.

"The history of saints is mainly the history of insane people." — Benito Mussolini (1883-1944).

"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything." — Friedrich Nietzsche.

"There is not enough love and goodness in the word for us to be permitted to give any of it away to imaginary things." — Friedrich Nietzsche.

"Religion is to rationality as bullshit is to horsepower."

"Religions change; beer and wine remain." — Harvey Allen.

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." — Blaise Pascal (1623-1662).