1. Get a ride on a real military fighter jet.

2. Have scary-weird sex. I've had a lot of weird sex, but never so weird it's scared me.

3. Get the machine elves to give me a clear answer at least on one question.

4. Learn to understand general relativity. It's the tensor algebra that's holding me back. Goddamn that index jungle.

5. Eat deep-fried locusts. Crunchy and tasty, they say.