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HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?

 
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 05:34 PM
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HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Background - I am married. No infidelity on her or my part. This is a heated point of contention between the two of us. She feels it is normal and acceptable while I am insistent that this breeds mistrust and is beyond unacceptable, beyond normal and beyond unhealthy. I have no interest in getting her to simply agree to stop doing this. I want her not only to stop - but to also realize and acknowledge how incredibly wrong the act is.

As to the act itself. If, at the end of the day (or at any point during the day), your wife made it a habit to take your phone and go through your entire texting history from that day as a point of routine, what would you think?

My wife insists she is only trying to stay informed. I am of the opinion that 99% of the population would think their spouse is suspicious of something if this was a daily habit - be it suspicious of infidelity or other secrets.

All that being said - to be clear - I have no problem with my spouse picking up my phone should a message come in and reading it. I have no problem with my spouse using my phone. I have no problem with my spouse seeing my communication history. I’m talking specifically about the act of going through your message history text by text by text.

In your opinion, would this breed suspicion on the part of a husband? I have nothing to hide, but simultaneously, I think any reasonable person would think that their wife suspects them of something if this was a daily routine.

Both men and women, married and unmarried - please chime in.
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 05:36 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
she's insecure... but that's not normal to read each others message one by one each day. watch black mirror when the spouses rewind each others memories for the day to see flirty engagements with others for sake of argument
936432979

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04/09/2021 05:39 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
What does she need to be caught up on? If it is family texts, set up group texts so she is not left out.
Ima Pseudonym

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04/09/2021 05:40 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Thank gawd the ACs are back! /s

Take your drama to Dear Abby

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Xeven

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04/09/2021 05:42 PM

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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
She is a cheater. Sorry man.
I reserve the right to declare my comments and posts as satire. Nothing I post should be considered or interpreted as advocacy for illegal activity. My comments are designed to inspire critical political thinking.
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 05:44 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
I always look at her social media, texts and even rummage through her purse and all her banking statements
Trust but verify
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 5410596
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04/09/2021 05:45 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Thank gawd the ACs are back! /s

Take your drama to Dear Abby

[link to www.uexpress.com (secure)]
 Quoting: Ima Pseudonym


Ironically, I’m a paid member that is logged out of my account. Hahahaha.
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 05:46 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
psychotic behaviour. beware.
VivianTzamis

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04/09/2021 05:46 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
There's only 2 ways of handling women--


And nobody knows what they are
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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04/09/2021 05:47 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
For the other husbands out there, if your wife was doing this - would it eventually drive you insane? Especially if you had nothing to hide to begin with?
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 05:48 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
My guess is you're gay and she knows it. You want us to affirm your gay secret is yours to keep and she has no right to get the truth.
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 05:49 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Better you than me genius
936432979

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04/09/2021 05:54 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
For the other husbands out there, if your wife was doing this - would it eventually drive you insane? Especially if you had nothing to hide to begin with?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5410596


I’m not a husband, but I couldn’t live like that. It must suck to be married.
Wake up men

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04/09/2021 05:54 PM

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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
hf
Today was just a day, tomorrow is gonna be better.

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Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 05:56 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
For the other husbands out there, if your wife was doing this - would it eventually drive you insane? Especially if you had nothing to hide to begin with?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5410596


I'm a private person so I would feel violated if she went through my phone she knows this and respects it. I give the same respect to her. Been married 22 years and I notice the younger couples I see have very little trust in their partners and constantly spy on each other.
Rick Deez Nuts

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04/09/2021 06:00 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Background - I am married. No infidelity on her or my part. This is a heated point of contention between the two of us. She feels it is normal and acceptable while I am insistent that this breeds mistrust and is beyond unacceptable, beyond normal and beyond unhealthy. I have no interest in getting her to simply agree to stop doing this. I want her not only to stop - but to also realize and acknowledge how incredibly wrong the act is.

As to the act itself. If, at the end of the day (or at any point during the day), your wife made it a habit to take your phone and go through your entire texting history from that day as a point of routine, what would you think?

My wife insists she is only trying to stay informed. I am of the opinion that 99% of the population would think their spouse is suspicious of something if this was a daily habit - be it suspicious of infidelity or other secrets.

All that being said - to be clear - I have no problem with my spouse picking up my phone should a message come in and reading it. I have no problem with my spouse using my phone. I have no problem with my spouse seeing my communication history. I’m talking specifically about the act of going through your message history text by text by text.

In your opinion, would this breed suspicion on the part of a husband? I have nothing to hide, but simultaneously, I think any reasonable person would think that their wife suspects them of something if this was a daily routine.

Both men and women, married and unmarried - please chime in.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5410596


She’s cheating bro. Been there. Run.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80230512
United Kingdom
04/09/2021 06:04 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
If there is a woman in your household
You better be ready to lay everything on the table, if you don't feel like you can be honest with her, then it's not the woman for you.
Arkansassy

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04/09/2021 06:06 PM

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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
If she doesn’t have any reason to suspect any cheating and you haven’t given her any reason to mistrust you, then no, that is not normal. Is she traumatized from some past relationship? Or is she that insecure? I hope you can help her heal.
If you're going to leave me red, please be specific about why I am a cunt. Otherwise I'll assume you're just tarded.
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 06:08 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Background - I am married. No infidelity on her or my part. This is a heated point of contention between the two of us. She feels it is normal and acceptable while I am insistent that this breeds mistrust and is beyond unacceptable, beyond normal and beyond unhealthy. I have no interest in getting her to simply agree to stop doing this. I want her not only to stop - but to also realize and acknowledge how incredibly wrong the act is.

As to the act itself. If, at the end of the day (or at any point during the day), your wife made it a habit to take your phone and go through your entire texting history from that day as a point of routine, what would you think?

My wife insists she is only trying to stay informed. I am of the opinion that 99% of the population would think their spouse is suspicious of something if this was a daily habit - be it suspicious of infidelity or other secrets.

All that being said - to be clear - I have no problem with my spouse picking up my phone should a message come in and reading it. I have no problem with my spouse using my phone. I have no problem with my spouse seeing my communication history. I’m talking specifically about the act of going through your message history text by text by text.

In your opinion, would this breed suspicion on the part of a husband? I have nothing to hide, but simultaneously, I think any reasonable person would think that their wife suspects them of something if this was a daily routine.

Both men and women, married and unmarried - please chime in.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5410596


She’s cheating bro. Been there. Run.
 Quoting: Rick Deez Nuts


No I don’t suspect cheating. Now or ever. She is “boringly” faithful and I love her for it. I do suspect one
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/09/2021 06:10 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Background - I am married. No infidelity on her or my part. This is a heated point of contention between the two of us. She feels it is normal and acceptable while I am insistent that this breeds mistrust and is beyond unacceptable, beyond normal and beyond unhealthy. I have no interest in getting her to simply agree to stop doing this. I want her not only to stop - but to also realize and acknowledge how incredibly wrong the act is.

As to the act itself. If, at the end of the day (or at any point during the day), your wife made it a habit to take your phone and go through your entire texting history from that day as a point of routine, what would you think?

My wife insists she is only trying to stay informed. I am of the opinion that 99% of the population would think their spouse is suspicious of something if this was a daily habit - be it suspicious of infidelity or other secrets.

All that being said - to be clear - I have no problem with my spouse picking up my phone should a message come in and reading it. I have no problem with my spouse using my phone. I have no problem with my spouse seeing my communication history. I’m talking specifically about the act of going through your message history text by text by text.

In your opinion, would this breed suspicion on the part of a husband? I have nothing to hide, but simultaneously, I think any reasonable person would think that their wife suspects them of something if this was a daily routine.

Both men and women, married and unmarried - please chime in.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5410596


She’s cheating bro. Been there. Run.
 Quoting: Rick Deez Nuts


No I don’t suspect cheating. Now or ever. She is “boringly” faithful and I love her for it. I do suspect one
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73994758


...got cut off on last post. One, I suspect she suspects infidelity on my part. Two, I suspect she suspects drug use on my part (I had a dangerous habit at one point - though not during our marriage. Three, she is psychologically incredibly insecure and has an unhealthy need to consume excess information for whatever reason.
*ApPaL*

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04/09/2021 06:12 PM

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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
She’s not able to trust you, can’t have a relationship with no trust
Cymru Am Byth.

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A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you’re loved by others.

The Wizard of Oz
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78344037
United States
04/09/2021 06:13 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Start going through her texts and see how she feels about it
Whiskey*Tango

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United States
04/09/2021 06:13 PM

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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Background - I am married. No infidelity on her or my part. This is a heated point of contention between the two of us. She feels it is normal and acceptable while I am insistent that this breeds mistrust and is beyond unacceptable, beyond normal and beyond unhealthy. I have no interest in getting her to simply agree to stop doing this. I want her not only to stop - but to also realize and acknowledge how incredibly wrong the act is.

As to the act itself. If, at the end of the day (or at any point during the day), your wife made it a habit to take your phone and go through your entire texting history from that day as a point of routine, what would you think?

My wife insists she is only trying to stay informed. I am of the opinion that 99% of the population would think their spouse is suspicious of something if this was a daily habit - be it suspicious of infidelity or other secrets.

All that being said - to be clear - I have no problem with my spouse picking up my phone should a message come in and reading it. I have no problem with my spouse using my phone. I have no problem with my spouse seeing my communication history. I’m talking specifically about the act of going through your message history text by text by text.

In your opinion, would this breed suspicion on the part of a husband? I have nothing to hide, but simultaneously, I think any reasonable person would think that their wife suspects them of something if this was a daily routine.

Both men and women, married and unmarried - please chime in.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5410596


You are already letting her do so, if you put a stop to it....you will look suspicious.

Going back on behavior to try and change it can be tough. You should have picked this fight when it first started.

Married 18 years and my husband and I use each other’s phone constantly, we haven’t felt the need to check messages.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/09/2021 06:14 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Thanks for the replies. Keep them coming. Please. I want a flood.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/09/2021 06:15 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Start going through her texts and see how she feels about it
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78344037


Her response to that is “please do so. I wish you would.”
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/09/2021 06:16 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Background - I am married. No infidelity on her or my part. This is a heated point of contention between the two of us. She feels it is normal and acceptable while I am insistent that this breeds mistrust and is beyond unacceptable, beyond normal and beyond unhealthy. I have no interest in getting her to simply agree to stop doing this. I want her not only to stop - but to also realize and acknowledge how incredibly wrong the act is.

As to the act itself. If, at the end of the day (or at any point during the day), your wife made it a habit to take your phone and go through your entire texting history from that day as a point of routine, what would you think?

My wife insists she is only trying to stay informed. I am of the opinion that 99% of the population would think their spouse is suspicious of something if this was a daily habit - be it suspicious of infidelity or other secrets.

All that being said - to be clear - I have no problem with my spouse picking up my phone should a message come in and reading it. I have no problem with my spouse using my phone. I have no problem with my spouse seeing my communication history. I’m talking specifically about the act of going through your message history text by text by text.

In your opinion, would this breed suspicion on the part of a husband? I have nothing to hide, but simultaneously, I think any reasonable person would think that their wife suspects them of something if this was a daily routine.

Both men and women, married and unmarried - please chime in.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5410596


You are already letting her do so, if you put a stop to it....you will look suspicious.

Going back on behavior to try and change it can be tough. You should have picked this fight when it first started.

Married 18 years and my husband and I use each other’s phone constantly, we haven’t felt the need to check messages.
 Quoting: Whiskey*Tango


I did put a stop to this at the beginning of our marriage. She was so off put by it, that she went for a long period of time refusing to even touch my phone or look at it in protest. The issue has resurfaced.
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 06:17 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
I have no problem with my spouse picking up my phone should a message come in and reading it.

I have no problem with my spouse using my phone.

I have no problem with my spouse seeing my communication history.

I have nothing to hide
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5410596


Every one of those statements raises flags.

This "I have nothing to hide" bullshit is the same naivety thrown around by those who are okay with tech companies knowing your minute-by-minute location down to a few feet of error. It's privacy 101.

If a message comes in and it's within eyeshot of her, that's reasonable. But picking up your phone of her own accord, that raises a red flag to me.

It's great that you trust your wife enough to not have a problem with her knowing your general communication history. She should trust you enough to not need to look at your phone even occasionally. The fact that she doesn't raises a red flag. The fact that it's habitual raises even more flags, and is what you're talking about, but it's the FIRST flag to which I think attention should be directed.
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 06:17 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
Simply say no. You have no obligation to show her your phone. Honesty and doing right by her are your obligations and should be clearly understood since you're married. If your not concerned about her texts and reading them but she insists on reading yours. something is up and needs to dealt with.
ZOOM OUT

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04/09/2021 06:19 PM

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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
It's not normal.
To ignore tyranny is to give it medium to thrive!
CHINA VIRUS PEDO JOE

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04/09/2021 06:19 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
My wife has my phone PIN, I could care less, look all you want because I use a burner phone for my Hoes.




sideways
time to drain the swamp, release ALL OBOZO RECORDS.
Anonymous Coward
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04/09/2021 06:20 PM
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Re: HELP - Is it normal/acceptable for a wife to go through all of husband’s text messages every day?
My husband and I use each others phones on a daily basis.

No problem.

I'm older now but during crazy hormone shifts us ladies can get quite insane and feel extremely insecure.

It will eventually blow over, just try to keep any text messages that might start a fight or make her feel insecure deleted off your phone.

It's a good thing, after work before you get home, delete your daily text messages and phone call logs.
Don't delete everything or that will arise suspicion and cause trouble too. Keep her logs and your buds so it doesn't look like you cleared your entire phone.





GLP