I awoke to find my 4month old first born purple and watched his mother bring him back to life. Alive, bright eyed and Alert. But by calling 911.
Led to a sequence of events within hospital care that transpired to severe brain injury. For 15 years after replaying events in my head over and over. There is no denying the events was some form of destiny and could not be avoided. ( with exception of my choices at every corner)
Everyday and most certainly ongoing, as I care for his physical and mental well being, I still ponder where this nightmare is leading us and for what purpose of this daily suffering.
I have my thoughts for the reasoning, but must keep them to myself.
There is one undeniable conclusion, that I must stay strong for my second born son, my wife and obviously my first born. Not to mention keeping myself mentally and physically strong. Without ANY mind altering substance.
And you know what. I do not have this so called PTSD, I do not have this so called depression.
I have strength.
Man up OP and stay strong no matter the circumstances
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79212227 I awoke to find my 4month old first born purple and watched his mother bring him back to life. Alive, bright eyed and Alert. But by calling 911.
Led to a sequence of events within hospital care that transpired to severe brain injury. For 15 years after replaying events in my head over and over. There is no denying the events was some form of destiny and could not be avoided. ( with exception of my choices at every corner)
Everyday and most certainly ongoing, as I care for his physical and mental well being, I still ponder where this nightmare is leading us and for what purpose of this daily suffering.
I have my thoughts for the reasoning, but must keep them to myself.
There is one undeniable conclusion, that I must stay strong for my second born son, my wife and obviously my first born. Not to mention keeping myself mentally and physically strong. Without ANY mind altering substance.
And you know what. I do not have this so called PTSD, I do not have this so called depression.
I have strength.
Man up OP and stay strong no matter the circumstances
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79212227 Just adding to the perspective. Basically he is aware of his surroundings, but movement is limited to only neck region and right arm. No verbal, but emotionally and awareness seems to fit his age. 15 years.
For 15 years. We have never received assistance, by family, by government, and very little assistance from insurance.
Everyone in our household has learned to stay strong (4 of us) no matter the situation. Yes we have hiccups. Which is quickly realized that we have no choice and time to toughen up.
Me nor my wife have never had any mind altering medication, nor do we drink or drugs. Keeping a sound mind, willing and prepared for worst case scenario. Which in reality is every moment.
To be honest and what I really wanted to say, What has kept me with an ongoing strong mentality. Is knowing my first born has been through so much more that even I have a hard time to fathom, despite witnessing it 24/7.
If he can awaken with a half ass smile. I need to toughen up everyday and push forward. And try squeeze something good out of each and everyday. For him, for his mother, for his younger brother. And me, I just need to focus on staying strong, so the family follows.
Stay strong OP
