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Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...

 
eyeDR3
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04/21/2021 07:00 PM
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Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
Please read this for maybe you feel similarly to me and we can learn together.

I am nearly 29 years old. I am responsible for myself, my decisions and surroundings.

Let me just start by stating those facts.

Now let me explain where I've seen this life go, and where it is heading...

Born in 1992, there were race riots actively occurring from the moment I entered the world. Black Hawk Down. Hurricane Andrew.

America was already all but lost, fallen into the exact malicious hands warned about by our founders, John F Kennedy and even Ronald Reagan. We had gone from George HW Bush to Bill Clinton, the very beginning of the snowball of effects that would come for the next almost 30 years.

As a child, I recall the wonder of the coming technological era. It was in everything. Every form of media, art, music, clothing... Everyone was for the most part embracing and in awe of novelty. Very similar to the 80's, the 90's were the last bastion of the American dream, for better or worse.

It was a wonderful time for me, even though in reality, very bad things were happening in the world already and in my own life. My youth allowed me to remain mostly ignorant of the world. I wasn't yet hardened and desensitized.

The music was fantastic, videogames went from 8 to 16, to 32 and even 64 bit in very short order, from 2D to 3D, tv was captivating, malls weren't just shops, there were still heavily used arcades, cars were badass still, most of our time was spent outside... I could go on and on and on but basically what I'm saying is my childhood, whilst extremely turbulent, I am very lucky to say took place in a relatively novel, prosperous and happy time.

Then, in 2001, 911 happened.

I can't lie... I'm still traumatized by that day, like I've never moved past the shock and ongoing implications ever since.

In September, it has been 20 years.

When it occurred, I was 9 years old.
I remember it like it was yesterday.

From that event forward, it has been an ever quickening spiral into despair and destruction.

I am very lucky to have had moral posts in my life. They are all mostly deceased by now, but they had their hand in forming who I am today.

I don't want this to be all about me, so I'll hurry it along to where we are now.

When I graduated high school, with honors and with an already accepted application to several major universities, something was telling me to stay far away. I purposely chose a smaller university, Purdue, and even switched to IU after my first semester. I could have gone to almost any ivy league school even, if not for monetary restrictions (and I'm white). Something was telling me to stay away.

I recently looked back at my days in University and I was disgusted and rather flabbergasted. I was being pushed hard into marxism and extremism without even the slightest inclination. I am truly appalled by the amount of social justice and marxism that was being pushed then, but that brings us forward...

I feel as if I've escaped hell already and now must feel pain and sorrow as punishment for what my people have done and have ALLOWED to be done. I had a true Awakening, an aha moment in which I realized it would be foolish to turn a bind eye to the coming destruction and to carry about things as usual. To have false optimism only to be let down.

Not that it is my own doing, atonement comes through true repentance and the letting go of the push in this world.

I've no friends. No money. Nothing to my name but some "artifacts" and a dog I love very much. My cousin means a lot to me and he and I for the past nearly 10 years have helped to build each other up and stayed awake... But there comes a time for a fork in the road, where everyone makes their decisions and you cannot stop them, just as you would not like for them to infringe on you.

What we've made work we are far beyond the halfway point of. He has decided to marry and no matter what I feel of that situation, he has to make his own decisions about that one and I wish him the best of luck. I can see it may take heart break, divorce and such for him to come to the level of wisdom I have via other experiences. But, that's on him.

Which brings me to today.

Last Edited by eyeDR3 on 04/21/2021 07:01 PM
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eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:01 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
Our rent is increasing by 300, but we each still only pay 615. That is still more affordable than if I were on my own. But I've never felt the want or need to be so alone as I do now.

Every warning is being ignored. I do not wish to impose, but I cannot help but feel a rather altruistic need to wake people up just as Noah was told to do.

But I'm not specifically in communication with God, at least not in a language type communication form.

For me, it has been more in the relics of the teachings of the past, of the moral staples in my life and the scars of past calamity.

When Trump was elected, I believe that actually made me lose a bit of focus on myself and on God because it threw me for the loop of unrealistic optimism.

Somehow, he was going to fix it.

Now we know that just isn't the case.

He did so much good, fought tooth and nail, walked through the valley of the shadow of death, but something eventually changed even in him. When expecting martyrdom, in the end I feel like we were actually lead into something far worse...

We had expectations and thought the world could turn around, but it was false peace.

The tribulation began in 2017 with the solar eclipse over the heart of the us and will end with the second coming of the solar eclipse in 2024, a 7 year period split down the middle with hope and anguish.

I feel it is my duty to spread the word and to wake people up, but as Jesus taught, even mentioning him to others causes them to build their mental walls before me.

I was lost in hope, in optimism, but now realize that i am found in an inescapable destruction coming.

So what is there to do but to embrace it?

I chose to be single and to remain without children for some altruistic and some selfish reasons. I realized the lust and pleasure wouldn't outweigh the burden of a wife and children going through this world, with me as their protector. That makes me both a coward and a savior to having never produced that potential outcome as I can see many of my peers, brothers and sisters included, have.

So I sit in this meat suit awaiting an inevitable end, wishing it would come already like sitting through a really bad 3 hour long movie (I'm looking at you Batman vs Superman).

And that breaks my heart. Not only for me, but for the wife and children I never had, for all the opportunity I not only gave up but willingly prevented or destroyed.

And I believe that breaks God's heart even more.

There are other "God's" but none come before the one true creator.

They will certainly try, and rather soon at that.

But what to do now?

Just write? Make books? Print out my photos and everything else that is predominantly digital anymore? Is preservation even necessary if we are to understand and believe what is impending?

Meditation, grounding, getting away from it and them all... So lonely yet so ready to just be done with it...
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eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:03 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
The missing part of every equation is God, not because he isn't there, but because we choose to ignore him.

We all perish and so too will this world, but our souls and their choices are forever.
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Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:07 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
The missing part of every equation is God, not because he isn't there, but because we choose to ignore him.

We all perish and so too will this world, but our souls and their choices are forever.
 Quoting: eyeDR3


hesright
eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:10 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
The missing part of every equation is God, not because he isn't there, but because we choose to ignore him.

We all perish and so too will this world, but our souls and their choices are forever.
 Quoting: eyeDR3


hesright
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50787780


So... What do we do AC?

Seriously, what do we freaking do!?

We're on a sinking ship and there are NO life vests or boats for us...
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Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:11 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
The tribulation began in 2017 with the solar eclipse over the heart of the us and will end with the second coming of the solar eclipse in 2024, a 7 year period split down the middle with hope and anguish.

 Quoting: eyeDR3


Nope. The Tribulation is not in any way based on America.
solar2004
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04/21/2021 07:11 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
I would love to believe in a god but even if there was a god there would be no intervention from god.

"This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper."
eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:11 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
I repent. I repent. I repent!

Please, Lord save me from this.

Oh the crucifixion has never made more sense than now.
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LastAmericanOutlaw

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04/21/2021 07:11 PM

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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
God has a plan for your life

Be still

And be at peace...
The Truth stands alone.....
eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:12 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
The tribulation began in 2017 with the solar eclipse over the heart of the us and will end with the second coming of the solar eclipse in 2024, a 7 year period split down the middle with hope and anguish.

 Quoting: eyeDR3


Nope. The Tribulation is not in any way based on America.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80270648


It absolutely is. I provided only one snippet of evidence.

Provide counter evidence to the contrary.

Convince me, don't just tell me I'm wrong. Offer something.
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Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:13 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
The missing part of every equation is God, not because he isn't there, but because we choose to ignore him.

We all perish and so too will this world, but our souls and their choices are forever.
 Quoting: eyeDR3


I had friends and I got rid of them as easy as just stopping talking to them. I am 33 years old and never felt better about that decision in my life. I have never felt alone and still don't, because life is so much less stressful when you don't have to worry about anyone besides yourself. Having to worry about others is such a headache and a burden. All I have to say is if you want someone, go get them, its as easy as just trying.
LSDMTHC(WalkingMiracl​e)

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04/21/2021 07:15 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
I’m 28, I feel for you friend. Glad you didn’t turn out like (99% of) our peers, selfish, stupid and blind. Best of luck to you.
Originally LSDMTHC

FLORIDIAN NOT CANADIAN

Christian, Father, Husband and a millennial. Fuck leftist viewpoints, they destroy nations.
Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:16 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
what to feel alone how bout sailing into the middle of the pacific ocean by your self of corse and just sit there and look up at the stars at night a truly scary but a beautiful experience.
eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:16 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
I would love to believe in a god but even if there was a god there would be no intervention from god.

"This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper."
 Quoting: solar2004 76804612


You are just ignorant, and that is okay. You will come to understand as we all will.

The intervention occurred in our inception.

True empathy, kindness and love are mere byproducts of the free will.

We were given a choice, allegiance to God and a perfect world, or allegiance to sin and a world of destruction and anguish.

What did WE choose?

Neither option promised intervention.

Just as we cannot always intervene in our children's affairs, neither can nor should God.

That's what is hard for me to understand that others DO NOT understand, is that it is all a CHOICE and we are not ENTITLED to being saved.

We already were and we killed him!

Last Edited by eyeDR3 on 04/21/2021 07:17 PM
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Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:17 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
Thats a lot to chew on.

I imagine the 9 yr olds of today, the smart ones anyways, are going to look back on 2020 & coronavirus much as you look back on 2001 & 9/11.....with scarring & irreversible trauma.

And their communist indoctrination will be mandatory & complete.

Sad state of affairs for sure.
Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:18 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
The missing part of every equation is God, not because he isn't there, but because we choose to ignore him.

We all perish and so too will this world, but our souls and their choices are forever.
 Quoting: eyeDR3


I had friends and I got rid of them as easy as just stopping talking to them. I am 33 years old and never felt better about that decision in my life. I have never felt alone and still don't, because life is so much less stressful when you don't have to worry about anyone besides yourself. Having to worry about others is such a headache and a burden. All I have to say is if you want someone, go get them, its as easy as just trying.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78051284


I would like to mention, while yes I live with my mother and brother, I only see them about 2 or 3 times a day, the other 6 hours or so of the day I spend by myself listening to music or playing games. I prefer it that way. Life is what you make it, if you want to spend time with people, go spend time with people. I am sure your mother and father would love if you spent time with them.
EllenRipley
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04/21/2021 07:18 PM

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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
Don't spend your time worrying about things you cannot change. It is already written.

Live everyday like it is your last, no regrets
~Like clockwork, I commit the crime
I pretend to be everything they like
I've been here before, I've seen you before~


Bring back asylums!
eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:20 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
God has a plan for your life

Be still

And be at peace...
 Quoting: LastAmericanOutlaw


I am really really trying...

Just pray. Not for me, but for this world and for all people.

Thank you!

hf
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Sterling88

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04/21/2021 07:21 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
You sound very down OP. You are still young enough to get married and have children.
Sterling88
LastAmericanOutlaw

User ID: 13946891
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04/21/2021 07:21 PM

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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
God has a plan for your life

Be still

And be at peace...
 Quoting: LastAmericanOutlaw


I am really really trying...

Just pray. Not for me, but for this world and for all people.

Thank you!

hf
 Quoting: eyeDR3



I promise I will

And you're very welcome
The Truth stands alone.....
eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:22 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
I’m 28, I feel for you friend. Glad you didn’t turn out like (99% of) our peers, selfish, stupid and blind. Best of luck to you.
 Quoting: LSDMTHC(WalkingMiracle)


Same to you friend!
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eyeDR3  (OP)

User ID: 79828781
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04/21/2021 07:23 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
The missing part of every equation is God, not because he isn't there, but because we choose to ignore him.

We all perish and so too will this world, but our souls and their choices are forever.
 Quoting: eyeDR3


I had friends and I got rid of them as easy as just stopping talking to them. I am 33 years old and never felt better about that decision in my life. I have never felt alone and still don't, because life is so much less stressful when you don't have to worry about anyone besides yourself. Having to worry about others is such a headache and a burden. All I have to say is if you want someone, go get them, its as easy as just trying.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78051284


You aren't wrong... But I will say it's rather 50/50. Both outcomes provide their own wisdom and experiences.
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Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:23 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
The tribulation began in 2017 with the solar eclipse over the heart of the us and will end with the second coming of the solar eclipse in 2024, a 7 year period split down the middle with hope and anguish.

 Quoting: eyeDR3


Nope. The Tribulation is not in any way based on America.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80270648


It absolutely is. I provided only one snippet of evidence.

Provide counter evidence to the contrary.

Convince me, don't just tell me I'm wrong. Offer something.
 Quoting: eyeDR3


The Tribulation, like the Bible, is about Israel.

America is not even clearly referenced in the Bible.

I've spent my entire life studying the Bible.

I'm done arguing.
Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:25 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
God needs America for absolutely nothing.
eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:25 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
Thats a lot to chew on.

I imagine the 9 yr olds of today, the smart ones anyways, are going to look back on 2020 & coronavirus much as you look back on 2001 & 9/11.....with scarring & irreversible trauma.

And their communist indoctrination will be mandatory & complete.

Sad state of affairs for sure.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80226978


You are correct, and that too breaks my heart.

Just one example as to why I didn't bring children in.
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Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:25 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
I would like to mention though if you rely on god to make a decision for you, then you will never find the answers you seek. I myself do not believe in god, but I imagine if he/she/it did exist you must figure stuff out on your own through free will. I honestly don't understand the people that think magic is gonna fix everything for them. Its not, you must do it yourself. Luckily for everyone we have the internet and so we can just watch videos on youtube or read books to help us get through hard times, or some thread on GLP if that is your go to. Either way don't rely on waiting, take action OP.
Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:26 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
Perhaps He happens to be calling you out America and out of this world

into The Faith in Jesus Christ,

but America will burn.
Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:27 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
Perhaps He happens to be calling you out America and out of this world

into The Faith in Jesus Christ,

but America will burn.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80270648


see this is the shit I speak of "faith" if you rely on "faith" you will never succeed.
eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:27 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
Don't spend your time worrying about things you cannot change. It is already written.

Live everyday like it is your last, no regrets
 Quoting: EllenRipley


That is so much easier said than done for me.

I've tried and tried again.

It's inescapable. I could just tune out of everything but that still doesn't change the outcome.

I know, I know. So what?

I get it, trust me.

But I am very confident in saying my best days are WAAAAY behind me, and I appreciate them all the same.

But I'm just very impatiently awaiting the escape.
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Anonymous Coward
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04/21/2021 07:29 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
Perhaps He happens to be calling you out of America and out of this world

and into The Faith in Jesus Christ,

but America will burn.

The Called-Out Ones, the ekklesia (Greek), the Church, Believers in Him.

Perhaps you have been called for just such a time as this.

Yes, you have. Yes, we have.
eyeDR3  (OP)

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04/21/2021 07:30 PM
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Re: Never felt so alone, nor have I ever wanted to be so...
The tribulation began in 2017 with the solar eclipse over the heart of the us and will end with the second coming of the solar eclipse in 2024, a 7 year period split down the middle with hope and anguish.

 Quoting: eyeDR3


Nope. The Tribulation is not in any way based on America.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80270648


It absolutely is. I provided only one snippet of evidence.

Provide counter evidence to the contrary.

Convince me, don't just tell me I'm wrong. Offer something.
 Quoting: eyeDR3


The Tribulation, like the Bible, is about Israel.

America is not even clearly referenced in the Bible.

I've spent my entire life studying the Bible.

I'm done arguing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80270648


You didn't argue.

Israel existed then and still exists, but America wasn't around yet.

We are new babylon.

It's too perfect a fit...

Even the natives knew what was coming to this land.
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