Godlike Productions - Discussion Forum
Users Online Now: 985 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 101,804
Pageviews Today: 261,068Threads Today: 154Posts Today: 3,099
04:33 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 328162
United States
01/14/2008 02:39 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
BOSTON, Mass. — Last month, following a lovely dinner at Japaneteria, David and Jane Bennett were celebrating their honeymoon in the middle of Weller Lagoon when David's amorous advances became a little more than the boat could handle.

"It was a moonlit night and I was feeling very 'in the moment,'" said David. "I grabbed Jane and moved in to kiss her. She became startled and recoiled, tipping the boat and sending us both into the water."

If Weller Lagoon had been an ordinary pond, the couple's unscheduled swim might have been amusing.

"But it was a goldfish pond," said David with a shudder. "There were thousands of them, which is why we chose it."

It took five minutes for the Bennetts to extricate themselves from the water.

“During that time we were enveloped in goldfish," said David. "They got in my shirt, my shoes and my pants. In the light of the full moon, I glimpsed their soulless, little eyes rushing past me, felt their puckered lips sucking on my skin. On top of that, Jane was screaming something about drowning. It was horrible for me."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 174926
Canada
01/14/2008 02:41 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
violated by fish the indignity
lamâshtu

User ID: 225644
Switzerland
01/14/2008 02:43 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
hahahaha

you made my day!
Satiric Axiom

User ID: 292560
United States
01/14/2008 02:51 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
beauty




fish ahhh




captain
Wonderful
"It isn't about what you & I think, it's about what is."
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 328162
United States
01/14/2008 02:55 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
BOSTON, Mass. — Last month, following a lovely dinner at Japaneteria, David and Jane Bennett were celebrating their honeymoon in the middle of Weller Lagoon when David's amorous advances became a little more than the boat could handle.

"It was a moonlit night and I was feeling very 'in the moment,'" said David. "I grabbed Jane and moved in to kiss her. She became startled and recoiled, tipping the boat and sending us both into the water."

If Weller Lagoon had been an ordinary pond, the couple's unscheduled swim might have been amusing.

"But it was a goldfish pond," said David with a shudder. "There were thousands of them, which is why we chose it."

It took five minutes for the Bennetts to extricate themselves from the water.

“During that time we were enveloped in goldfish," said David. "They got in my shirt, my shoes and my pants. In the light of the full moon, I glimpsed their soulless, little eyes rushing past me, felt their puckered lips sucking on my skin. On top of that, Jane was screaming something about drowning. It was horrible for me."

David later found out that it was worse for his wife.

"I had my eyes tightly shut but I felt their slimy, fast-moving bodies squirming all around me," said Jane. "While I was shrieking one goldfish swam into my mouth. I swallowed it. I think I’ll always feel it wriggling down my throat like — well, like a goldfish."

After pulling themselves from the pond, David and Jane stumbled to the boathouse where they collapsed from fatigue and shock.

"We’ve been in intense therapy since the incident,” said David. “We'll obviously be avoiding ponds, boats, parks, pools and even baths.

“And, of course, it’ll be a while before we have sushi again.” HERES THE WHOLE STORY
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 340915
United States
01/14/2008 02:59 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
violated by fish the indignity
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 174926




lol
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 328162
United States
01/14/2008 03:22 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
BOSTON, Mass. — Last month, following a lovely dinner at Japaneteria, David and Jane Bennett were celebrating their honeymoon in the middle of Weller Lagoon when David's amorous advances became a little more than the boat could handle.

"It was a moonlit night and I was feeling very 'in the moment,'" said David. "I grabbed Jane and moved in to kiss her. She became startled and recoiled, tipping the boat and sending us both into the water."

If Weller Lagoon had been an ordinary pond, the couple's unscheduled swim might have been amusing.

"But it was a goldfish pond," said David with a shudder. "There were thousands of them, which is why we chose it."

It took five minutes for the Bennetts to extricate themselves from the water.

“During that time we were enveloped in goldfish," said David. "They got in my shirt, my shoes and my pants. In the light of the full moon, I glimpsed their soulless, little eyes rushing past me, felt their puckered lips sucking on my skin. On top of that, Jane was screaming something about drowning. It was horrible for me."

David later found out that it was worse for his wife.

"I had my eyes tightly shut but I felt their slimy, fast-moving bodies squirming all around me," said Jane. "While I was shrieking one goldfish swam into my mouth. I swallowed it. I think I’ll always feel it wriggling down my throat like — well, like a goldfish."

After pulling themselves from the pond, David and Jane stumbled to the boathouse where they collapsed from fatigue and shock.

"We’ve been in intense therapy since the incident,” said David. “We'll obviously be avoiding ponds, boats, parks, pools and even baths.

“And, of course, it’ll be a while before we have sushi again.” HERES THE WHOLE STORY
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 328162

POOR COUPLE hf
i love goldies
User ID: 186582
United States
01/14/2008 03:33 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
.
.
.
Poor Goldfish!

Suddenly two large air breathers fall into their world, thrashing about, their flailing arms and legs crashing against soft goldfish flesh, the water churned and heaved with tumult.

Scales were knocked off, fins tattered, friends and family bob senselessly to the top, their white bellies showing their surrender.

An environment already overcrowded becomes bedlam when creatures who have formerly been food-givers suddenly enter their world and began devastating their ranks with their clumsy attempts to flee!

Their nightmares will persist long after the fins mend. They'll flee the next time they see the dreaded shadows fall over their home.

Many will just never be the same again!

<o///<
.
.
lamâshtu

User ID: 225644
Switzerland
01/14/2008 03:35 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
"While I was shrieking one goldfish swam into my mouth. I swallowed it. I think I’ll always feel it wriggling down my throat like — well, like a goldfish."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 328162


ahahaha

made its way into the urban legend hall of fame ... if not ... poor mistress!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 260371
United States
01/14/2008 03:37 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
not a good sign when she recoils on your honeymoon.

not a good sign at all.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 328162
United States
01/14/2008 03:39 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH

BOSTON, Mass. — Last month, following a lovely dinner at Japaneteria, David and Jane Bennett were celebrating their honeymoon in the middle of Weller Lagoon when David's amorous advances became a little more than the boat could handle.

"It was a moonlit night and I was feeling very 'in the moment,'" said David. "I grabbed Jane and moved in to kiss her. She became startled and recoiled, tipping the boat and sending us both into the water."

If Weller Lagoon had been an ordinary pond, the couple's unscheduled swim might have been amusing.

"But it was a goldfish pond," said David with a shudder. "There were thousands of them, which is why we chose it."

It took five minutes for the Bennetts to extricate themselves from the water.

“During that time we were enveloped in goldfish," said David. "They got in my shirt, my shoes and my pants. In the light of the full moon, I glimpsed their soulless, little eyes rushing past me, felt their puckered lips sucking on my skin. On top of that, Jane was screaming something about drowning. It was horrible for me.

David later found out that it was worse for his wife.

"I had my eyes tightly shut but I felt their slimy, fast-moving bodies squirming all around me," said Jane. "While I was shrieking one goldfish swam into my mouth. I swallowed it. I think I’ll always feel it wriggling down my throat like — well, like a goldfish."

After pulling themselves from the pond, David and Jane stumbled to the boathouse where they collapsed from fatigue and shock.

"We’ve been in intense therapy since the incident,” said David. “We'll obviously be avoiding ponds, boats, parks, pools and even baths.

“And, of course, it’ll be a while before we have sushi again.” HERES THE WHOLE STORY
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 328162
United States
01/14/2008 03:39 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
.
.
.
Poor Goldfish!

Suddenly two large air breathers fall into their world, thrashing about, their flailing arms and legs crashing against soft goldfish flesh, the water churned and heaved with tumult.

Scales were knocked off, fins tattered, friends and family bob senselessly to the top, their white bellies showing their surrender.

An environment already overcrowded becomes bedlam when creatures who have formerly been food-givers suddenly enter their world and began devastating their ranks with their clumsy attempts to flee!

Their nightmares will persist long after the fins mend. They'll flee the next time they see the dreaded shadows fall over their home.

Many will just never be the same again!

<o///<
.
.
 Quoting: i love goldies 186582

LMAO
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 328162
United States
01/14/2008 06:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
not a good sign when she recoils on your honeymoon.

not a good sign at all.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 260371

iamwith 1rof1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 98008
United States
01/14/2008 06:06 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
not a good sign when she recoils on your honeymoon.

not a good sign at all.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 260371


Thats what I thought.. She must just want amnesty chuckle
Phread
User ID: 354189
United Kingdom
01/14/2008 06:09 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
.
.
.
Poor Goldfish!

Suddenly two large air breathers fall into their world, thrashing about, their flailing arms and legs crashing against soft goldfish flesh, the water churned and heaved with tumult.

Scales were knocked off, fins tattered, friends and family bob senselessly to the top, their white bellies showing their surrender.

An environment already overcrowded becomes bedlam when creatures who have formerly been food-givers suddenly enter their world and began devastating their ranks with their clumsy attempts to flee!

Their nightmares will persist long after the fins mend. They'll flee the next time they see the dreaded shadows fall over their home.

Many will just never be the same again!

<o///<
.
.
 Quoting: i love goldies 186582



Goldfish DOOOOM!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 328162
United States
01/14/2008 06:09 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
HOWS THIS I WAS THE GOLDFISH THAT DID THE ATTACK ASK ME A QUESTION??? chuckle
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 328162
United States
01/14/2008 06:11 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
.
.
.
Poor Goldfish!

Suddenly two large air breathers fall into their world, thrashing about, their flailing arms and legs crashing against soft goldfish flesh, the water churned and heaved with tumult.

Scales were knocked off, fins tattered, friends and family bob senselessly to the top, their white bellies showing their surrender.

An environment already overcrowded becomes bedlam when creatures who have formerly been food-givers suddenly enter their world and began devastating their ranks with their clumsy attempts to flee!

Their nightmares will persist long after the fins mend. They'll flee the next time they see the dreaded shadows fall over their home.

Many will just never be the same again!

<o///<
.
.



Goldfish DOOOOM!
 Quoting: Phread 354189

chuckle
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 328162
United States
01/14/2008 06:14 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
LINK
Thread: TRUCKER ABDUCTED — RETURNS WITH ALIEN PROSTATE!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 328162
United States
01/14/2008 06:51 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH
.
.
.
Poor Goldfish!

Suddenly two large air breathers fall into their world, thrashing about, their flailing arms and legs crashing against soft goldfish flesh, the water churned and heaved with tumult.

Scales were knocked off, fins tattered, friends and family bob senselessly to the top, their white bellies showing their surrender.

An environment already overcrowded becomes bedlam when creatures who have formerly been food-givers suddenly enter their world and began devastating their ranks with their clumsy attempts to flee!

Their nightmares will persist long after the fins mend. They'll flee the next time they see the dreaded shadows fall over their home.

Many will just never be the same again!

<o///<
.
.
 Quoting: i love goldies 186582





GLP