HONEYMOON COUPLE ATTACKED BY GOLDFISH

violated by fish the indignity

hahahaha

you made my day!

Wonderful

BOSTON, Mass. — Last month, following a lovely dinner at Japaneteria, David and Jane Bennett were celebrating their honeymoon in the middle of Weller Lagoon when David's amorous advances became a little more than the boat could handle.

"It was a moonlit night and I was feeling very 'in the moment,'" said David. "I grabbed Jane and moved in to kiss her. She became startled and recoiled, tipping the boat and sending us both into the water."

If Weller Lagoon had been an ordinary pond, the couple's unscheduled swim might have been amusing.

"But it was a goldfish pond," said David with a shudder. "There were thousands of them, which is why we chose it."

It took five minutes for the Bennetts to extricate themselves from the water.

“During that time we were enveloped in goldfish," said David. "They got in my shirt, my shoes and my pants. In the light of the full moon, I glimpsed their soulless, little eyes rushing past me, felt their puckered lips sucking on my skin. On top of that, Jane was screaming something about drowning. It was horrible for me."

David later found out that it was worse for his wife.

"I had my eyes tightly shut but I felt their slimy, fast-moving bodies squirming all around me," said Jane. "While I was shrieking one goldfish swam into my mouth. I swallowed it. I think I’ll always feel it wriggling down my throat like — well, like a goldfish."

After pulling themselves from the pond, David and Jane stumbled to the boathouse where they collapsed from fatigue and shock.

"We’ve been in intense therapy since the incident,” said David. “We'll obviously be avoiding ponds, boats, parks, pools and even baths.

“And, of course, it’ll be a while before we have sushi again.” HERES THE WHOLE STORY

POOR COUPLE

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Poor Goldfish!

Suddenly two large air breathers fall into their world, thrashing about, their flailing arms and legs crashing against soft goldfish flesh, the water churned and heaved with tumult.

Scales were knocked off, fins tattered, friends and family bob senselessly to the top, their white bellies showing their surrender.

An environment already overcrowded becomes bedlam when creatures who have formerly been food-givers suddenly enter their world and began devastating their ranks with their clumsy attempts to flee!

Their nightmares will persist long after the fins mend. They'll flee the next time they see the dreaded shadows fall over their home.

Many will just never be the same again!

<o///<
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ahahaha

made its way into the urban legend hall of fame ... if not ... poor mistress!

not a good sign when she recoils on your honeymoon.

not a good sign at all.

BOSTON, Mass. — Last month, following a lovely dinner at Japaneteria, David and Jane Bennett were celebrating their honeymoon in the middle of Weller Lagoon when David's amorous advances became a little more than the boat could handle.

"It was a moonlit night and I was feeling very 'in the moment,'" said David. "I grabbed Jane and moved in to kiss her. She became startled and recoiled, tipping the boat and sending us both into the water."

If Weller Lagoon had been an ordinary pond, the couple's unscheduled swim might have been amusing.

"But it was a goldfish pond," said David with a shudder. "There were thousands of them, which is why we chose it."

It took five minutes for the Bennetts to extricate themselves from the water.

“During that time we were enveloped in goldfish," said David. "They got in my shirt, my shoes and my pants. In the light of the full moon, I glimpsed their soulless, little eyes rushing past me, felt their puckered lips sucking on my skin. On top of that, Jane was screaming something about drowning. It was horrible for me.

David later found out that it was worse for his wife.

"I had my eyes tightly shut but I felt their slimy, fast-moving bodies squirming all around me," said Jane. "While I was shrieking one goldfish swam into my mouth. I swallowed it. I think I’ll always feel it wriggling down my throat like — well, like a goldfish."

After pulling themselves from the pond, David and Jane stumbled to the boathouse where they collapsed from fatigue and shock.

"We’ve been in intense therapy since the incident,” said David. “We'll obviously be avoiding ponds, boats, parks, pools and even baths.

“And, of course, it’ll be a while before we have sushi again.” HERES THE WHOLE STORY

LMAO

Thats what I thought.. She must just want amnesty

Goldfish DOOOOM!

HOWS THIS I WAS THE GOLDFISH THAT DID THE ATTACK ASK ME A QUESTION???

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