I feel bad for you - I know what it’s like to have an animal with an issue that isn’t easily solved by a vet visit. I just HATE to see all of the posts by people who INSIST they have the cure. The fact is it’s dangerous to take everyone’s advice. A lot of these “cures” seem like they’d be more aggravating to the problem. Sometimes the issue is more psychosomatic than physical. It’s way too hard to diagnose a cat on some online forum and it could make things so much worse. Just be careful - definitely don’t add ANYTHING to your cats skin or fur you’re not sure of. Especially “scented shampoos”…I hope you find a remedy - poor kitty