There was a time in my life where I felt the same. I was just married and had one child already and my wife was expecting our second. As a consequence of my lifestyle and choice of acquaintances I ended up going to prison. I felt ashamed I wasn't there to provide and take care of my family. I was truly broken by that experience. However I vowed never again and meant it. Ultimately it led me to move 800 miles from where I was so we could have a future. I worked hard in everything I did and refused to accept failure, it wasn't an option. 21 years later while not perfect, I own a home, and my family is still together. You have to fight for what you want and keep your family in mind always. Never give up, they need you there more than you know. Stay strong brother and have faith. Sending love and prayers, may your road be a little less bumpy. Kind regards.