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I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.

 
InChristAmen
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11/14/2021 02:17 AM
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I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
I work endlessly it seems for minimum pay, which is killing me. I am attempting to go back to school for electrical engineering next Summer if things can actually work in terms of staying in school and not flipping my lid with depression or mania.

I need new hobbies. I run 15-20 miles a week, work out every other day (or I was until the past few days), but I see nobody... no one.

I have absolutely zero friends or people that I engage with and it's literally killing me.

I'm getting upset with God over stuff that's out of my control (My Mom passing away, girlfriend breaking up with me, up to my butt in bills, etc.)

Thinking about about buying a paintball gun and joining a league or something, I don't know. I have no idea what to do with my life.

Schizophrenia and BiPolar are kicking my ass and not showing any mercy, so I'm fed up with a lot going on.

Not to mention this COVID crap is stressing me the heck out seeing so many people still wearing masks. It's absurd.

I'm so damn lonely and really don't have a clue what I'm doing in life.

I will be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone again for the 3rd year in a row and that really bums me out that I have nobody to be around for my favorite Holidays.

My faith is pretty much gone. I'm so stressed out, overwhelmed, and lonely I find it difficult to praise God, all-while hearing voices throughout the day.

Is this the life God had in mind for me, to suffer so badly?

Like I mentioned, I feel clueless in life. Everybody seems to have their shit together. Friends, family, relationships or spouses... I just sit at home writing and listening to music and then get my nightly work shift in.

Ugh! This life, tho.
Robotanimal

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11/14/2021 02:24 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Spend some time in the deep woods. Far from humans.
InChristAmen  (OP)

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11/14/2021 02:25 AM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Spend some time in the deep woods. Far from humans.
 Quoting: Robotanimal


I actually laughed at this! I need human interaction, not to be cut off from civilization. I need friends.
Neuromute

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11/14/2021 02:35 AM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Maybe you could meet up with other like-minded writers and discuss what you're working on. Help each other with ideas and ways to improve your writing.

For the holidays, maybe volunteer somewhere. It's an easy way to meet new people, and maybe make some friends. It doesn't have to be something depressing, like feeding the poor. Try looking up local, community events that could use some extra help.

Last Edited by Neuromute on 11/14/2021 02:36 AM
Robotanimal

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11/14/2021 02:40 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Spend some time in the deep woods. Far from humans.
 Quoting: Robotanimal


I actually laughed at this! I need human interaction, not to be cut off from civilization. I need friends.
 Quoting: InChristAmen


Then you are truly lost.
Anonymous Coward
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11/14/2021 02:50 AM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
How can any of us truly live when the systems designed to manage us are killing us?

Most have turned their backs on themselves and live to the ode "that's just the way it is".

One of the recurring things people throw at me is why worry about things you can't change?

I always despised that idea because how can one know what they can or can't change without attempting to change it? (or deliberating on it at the very least)

And who is someone who doesn't reach for the stars to judge someone that does? On what grounds could they possibly object?

I don't have much advice for you but I can tell you how we got here and maybe that will put things into perspective.

People have buried their heads in the sand as to what goes on here, they just want a normal life while the unthinkable happens. That won't be possible too much longer.

Our society revolves around fear and force. Our institutions no longer enlighten minds but chain them to ideology and animal instinct. Our farmers aren't protected and made whole.

At some point someone let our roots be corrupted and no one ever stopped them. Knowing what has been done to you requires you leave your old life behind lest you go along with it.

Many are suffering and lonely and in my opinion it is because we have lost sight of our duty to each other. Our world has become a selfish joyride with no intimacy or restraint.

Friends are a distraction when we are connected by means of our means to survive. I call many people my friends, not because we hang out or do things together, or even like each other for that matter, but because we share a common goal, or understand our duty and responsibility to each other.

I hope you find something to ease the pain, for me it is music and delving into the depths of my mind. Realistically though, the source of the problem has to be dealt with before things stop getting worse.

Throw our dreams into the fire, watch them burn and do the hard work. I'll be here when you are ready, friend.
Sanity is Hard

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11/14/2021 03:04 AM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
I work endlessly it seems for minimum pay, which is killing me. I am attempting to go back to school for electrical engineering next Summer if things can actually work in terms of staying in school and not flipping my lid with depression or mania.

I need new hobbies. I run 15-20 miles a week, work out every other day (or I was until the past few days), but I see nobody... no one.

I have absolutely zero friends or people that I engage with and it's literally killing me.

I'm getting upset with God over stuff that's out of my control (My Mom passing away, girlfriend breaking up with me, up to my butt in bills, etc.)

Thinking about about buying a paintball gun and joining a league or something, I don't know. I have no idea what to do with my life.

Schizophrenia and BiPolar are kicking my ass and not showing any mercy, so I'm fed up with a lot going on.

Not to mention this COVID crap is stressing me the heck out seeing so many people still wearing masks. It's absurd.

I'm so damn lonely and really don't have a clue what I'm doing in life.

I will be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone again for the 3rd year in a row and that really bums me out that I have nobody to be around for my favorite Holidays.

My faith is pretty much gone. I'm so stressed out, overwhelmed, and lonely I find it difficult to praise God, all-while hearing voices throughout the day.

Is this the life God had in mind for me, to suffer so badly?

Like I mentioned, I feel clueless in life. Everybody seems to have their shit together. Friends, family, relationships or spouses... I just sit at home writing and listening to music and then get my nightly work shift in.

Ugh! This life, tho.
 Quoting: InChristAmen


In short, seems so.
I'm similar.
Going through divorce with 2 kids and losing the home I helped renovate and design and started a family at.
Hit me like a freight train after 7 years of marriage and 12 together total.
I am that last of 7 kids myself, all other siblings happily married twice or three times as long as myself, and more successful financially than me too.
It was dark the last few weeks and had little optimism.
I have so hope now, that even at 45, I can restart my life.
As long as I can get my foot back in the property door to get a house for me and my kids.

Last Edited by Sanity is Hard on 11/14/2021 03:05 AM
Single Dad that questions everything.
~LSDMTHC~
WalkingMiracle

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11/14/2021 03:09 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
As you look around and think “everyone has their shit together” just know that we ALL are fighting our own battles.

A quote I love from my favorite show.

“Everybody's got two wolves inside them. Both of them are starving. The one wolf is anger, envy, pride. The other one's truth, kindness. Every day they tear each other apart. But it's not the better wolf that wins. It's the one you feed.“


Keep close with God, as you know peace comes from within, not from the external world around us.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk to someone bud.
Not Canadian, Floridian.

Christian, Father, Husband, Hard worker and a millenial.

TO THE PEOPLE CALLING ME “DRUGGIE”: I am 100% sober these days.


Fuck Big Pharma!

Don’t be a pussy, if you leave red at least leave your name.

[link to youtube.com (secure)]
SapphireBlu

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11/14/2021 03:39 AM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Check out Litium Oratate for the Bipolar/rages/mood swings
St Johns wort for depression ~ both are simply natural product trace elements but most people are short on lithium (Bipolar or not) and are never going to eat the number of carrots needed to sort that out without supplements, hence the lithium orotate ;o) Advanced Research - Dr Hans A Nieper Is In my opinion the best, but simply run google searches re it helping with Bipolar as it truly does.

Only reason I bring this in first, is get on top of the moods/depression etc of Bipolar and it is going to be a daym site easier to choose the right friends and keep them.
Notice I say right friends, there is nothing more damaging then hanging with assholes who use or belittle you if you suffer esteem problems as you will actually feel sorry for the assholes as they destroy you.
You want to leave the shit behind and build beautiful , so start with the basics above by doing research getting atop that ect then things will just kind of flow easier than you can imagine right now.

Send me a PM at anytime if you want, I sometimes are not on for days but always arrive again eventually.. (literally decade after decade rofl), and are more than happy to help if its something I know I can help with via right info etc.
UnknownYellowbelly

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11/14/2021 05:03 AM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Start with getting on a good plant based multi-vitamin multi-mineral supplement. It may help with your schizophrenia, bipolar etc. See if you can pay off your bills. If not, consider consolidating debt and/or filing bankruptcy. You need to be able to start saving. Check out cost of living in other areas, it may be time for a change of scenery and lower expenses. Check into gig work like Uber and Lyft or delivery driver to make some extra bux while giving you contact with varying people.
Abu A

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11/14/2021 05:11 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
i see you are Christian. so u need to renew your faith on what u believe on. if u find that inner peace with your God u will find life easier again.

it can be a test by your God too. to see how faithful you are and if u pass it then gifts are to be followed
MaatTruthKey

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11/14/2021 05:25 AM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Fist of all. The movie gets the hardest near the end!
Second. God and your soul chose this for you. See the positive or purpose of it allllllll. It’ was all for now. Whatever was removed from your reality was not meant to be apart of your now. How hard would it be to sell shit and exchange it for a gypsyish life?? U know anyone in the bush??? Fossicking is so great and fun and treasure hunting is exiting. The forest is full of life. Serius we are alllll going through the last purge! Be healthy and put all energy into trusting the Process of your own journey!! It’s a movie a fucking movie!!! Sit back and enjoy it somehow!!

Everything changes in an instant so god knows what is in store for you! Make a cloud seeing machine and see if u can mess with the weather lol .
Nickel sized hail

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11/14/2021 05:30 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Words to live by... Don't eat the yellow snow!!
LoL. Hope you get your mojo back
Garufal

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11/14/2021 05:37 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
I work endlessly it seems for minimum pay, which is killing me. I am attempting to go back to school for electrical engineering next Summer if things can actually work in terms of staying in school and not flipping my lid with depression or mania.

I need new hobbies. I run 15-20 miles a week, work out every other day (or I was until the past few days), but I see nobody... no one.

I have absolutely zero friends or people that I engage with and it's literally killing me.

I'm getting upset with God over stuff that's out of my control (My Mom passing away, girlfriend breaking up with me, up to my butt in bills, etc.)

Thinking about about buying a paintball gun and joining a league or something, I don't know. I have no idea what to do with my life.

Schizophrenia and BiPolar are kicking my ass and not showing any mercy, so I'm fed up with a lot going on.

Not to mention this COVID crap is stressing me the heck out seeing so many people still wearing masks. It's absurd.

I'm so damn lonely and really don't have a clue what I'm doing in life.

I will be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone again for the 3rd year in a row and that really bums me out that I have nobody to be around for my favorite Holidays.

My faith is pretty much gone. I'm so stressed out, overwhelmed, and lonely I find it difficult to praise God, all-while hearing voices throughout the day.

Is this the life God had in mind for me, to suffer so badly?

Like I mentioned, I feel clueless in life. Everybody seems to have their shit together. Friends, family, relationships or spouses... I just sit at home writing and listening to music and then get my nightly work shift in.

Ugh! This life, tho.
 Quoting: InChristAmen


Sounds fun, why not?
You'll meet people and things can turn around.
A epiphany I had watering my lawn one day.

"Karma is the universal judicial system that NOBODY is Immune from" -Me

I LOVE good juicy gossip. Lay it on me.
GLPing

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11/14/2021 05:39 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
There is not a single person on his planet that has their shit together. Quit comparing yourself to them.
ringoo

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11/14/2021 05:39 AM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
I work endlessly it seems for minimum pay, which is killing me. I am attempting to go back to school for electrical engineering next Summer if things can actually work in terms of staying in school and not flipping my lid with depression or mania.

I need new hobbies. I run 15-20 miles a week, work out every other day (or I was until the past few days), but I see nobody... no one.

I have absolutely zero friends or people that I engage with and it's literally killing me.

I'm getting upset with God over stuff that's out of my control (My Mom passing away, girlfriend breaking up with me, up to my butt in bills, etc.)

Thinking about about buying a paintball gun and joining a league or something, I don't know. I have no idea what to do with my life.

Schizophrenia and BiPolar are kicking my ass and not showing any mercy, so I'm fed up with a lot going on.

Not to mention this COVID crap is stressing me the heck out seeing so many people still wearing masks. It's absurd.

I'm so damn lonely and really don't have a clue what I'm doing in life.

I will be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone again for the 3rd year in a row and that really bums me out that I have nobody to be around for my favorite Holidays.

My faith is pretty much gone. I'm so stressed out, overwhelmed, and lonely I find it difficult to praise God, all-while hearing voices throughout the day.

Is this the life God had in mind for me, to suffer so badly?

Like I mentioned, I feel clueless in life. Everybody seems to have their shit together. Friends, family, relationships or spouses... I just sit at home writing and listening to music and then get my nightly work shift in.

Ugh! This life, tho.
 Quoting: InChristAmen

bcom
Little Lost

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11/14/2021 05:43 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
I work endlessly it seems for minimum pay, which is killing me. I am attempting to go back to school for electrical engineering next Summer if things can actually work in terms of staying in school and not flipping my lid with depression or mania.

I need new hobbies. I run 15-20 miles a week, work out every other day (or I was until the past few days), but I see nobody... no one.

I have absolutely zero friends or people that I engage with and it's literally killing me.

I'm getting upset with God over stuff that's out of my control (My Mom passing away, girlfriend breaking up with me, up to my butt in bills, etc.)

Thinking about about buying a paintball gun and joining a league or something, I don't know. I have no idea what to do with my life.

Schizophrenia and BiPolar are kicking my ass and not showing any mercy, so I'm fed up with a lot going on.

Not to mention this COVID crap is stressing me the heck out seeing so many people still wearing masks. It's absurd.

I'm so damn lonely and really don't have a clue what I'm doing in life.

I will be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone again for the 3rd year in a row and that really bums me out that I have nobody to be around for my favorite Holidays.

My faith is pretty much gone. I'm so stressed out, overwhelmed, and lonely I find it difficult to praise God, all-while hearing voices throughout the day.

Is this the life God had in mind for me, to suffer so badly?

Like I mentioned, I feel clueless in life. Everybody seems to have their shit together. Friends, family, relationships or spouses... I just sit at home writing and listening to music and then get my nightly work shift in.

Ugh! This life, tho.
 Quoting: InChristAmen



Praying someone comes into your life OP. It's so easy to give out advice when things are smooth for you, but I've been down and you can find your self asking 'why God?'. Its one of my greatest fears with all that's happening. Significant change that makes me doubt. I ask the Lord to not let go of me and for me to find the strength in these times. I hate what's going on. Your name suggests you found the Lord once. What brought you to the Lord OP? It's truly at times like this that we find our selves at our lords mercy. He'll know better than anyone as to what your feeling and what your going through. I'm reminded of the vicky noratak's near death experience. In it she had a life review where she saw God was present with her at all times, even though it didnt seem that way to her at the time. Sometimes I swear he gently blows in the breeze listening as I talk away, who knows. Talk to him, explain your concerns, more so now than ever. Sometimes things arent always apparent, acknowledge he is there, offer your self for service. We are in dangerous times, we need the Lord more now than ever and more need to find him now than ever. I truly hope you find your strength in him again OP. Dont stop seeking him.



ringoo

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11/14/2021 05:48 AM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
First of all, what you are going though is normal to the human condition. There is nothing wrong with you, just the ups and downs of life. You are in a big down swing.

You do need to connect with God and ask Jesus to be your Lord and savior ASAP. Give him all the glory.

Father, I ask you in Jesus name to draw this man to you and to provide for him in every way, that only you can.

Give him peace, direction, and joy in you.
bcom
Theobromine

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11/14/2021 06:52 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
First of all, what you are going though is normal to the human condition. There is nothing wrong with you, just the ups and downs of life. You are in a big down swing.

You do need to connect with God and ask Jesus to be your Lord and savior ASAP. Give him all the glory.

Father, I ask you in Jesus name to draw this man to you and to provide for him in every way, that only you can.

Give him peace, direction, and joy in you.
 Quoting: ringoo


Good advice

At times I have felt I was “walking the plank” as I stepped out in faith and put one foot in front of the other each day to make life and career decisions

It’s murky out there

It’s not easy to find other people - so cherish everyone you meet that responds to you in a human way - do t take them for granted

Your mental Heath challenges are an extra burden and have to be managed the best you can - learn - grow - and have patience with yourself!

A pet to come home to and be responsible for was a blessing for me

Just know ... many of us have faced the loneliness - lived and progressed to another step out into the nothingness

For this holiday season I suggest you find a place that feeds the homeless and participate somehow - serve the holiday Thanksgiving meal and see that loneliness is a human condition and you aren’t necessarily different in that particular way

Going to school would be a good place to improve yourself and meet people - good luck with that. Study up now so your skill levels will meet the challenges

I am so sorry you are alone now - try to think of it as free ... to do the creators will wherever that takes you.
"What are you helping with all this helping?" Buddhist saying
Butch DeFeo
Itz The MonkeyPauxCommyUsurpPocalypse

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11/14/2021 07:01 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Figure out a way to navigate life, always avoiding taking the kill shots. Look at it as a great adventure.

Become a sex addict, that will make it easy to meet people.
ENDTHESHUTDOWN77redblueLEDDONTBEAPANDEMICS
Only you can stop the fake pandemic for yourself, no one will ever tell you the pandemic is over. It's time to WIN.
abeliever
Members

User ID: 80274367
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11/14/2021 07:08 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
First of all, what you are going though is normal to the human condition. There is nothing wrong with you, just the ups and downs of life. You are in a big down swing.

You do need to connect with God and ask Jesus to be your Lord and savior ASAP. Give him all the glory.

Father, I ask you in Jesus name to draw this man to you and to provide for him in every way, that only you can.

Give him peace, direction, and joy in you.
 Quoting: ringoo


This^^ and..


Ignore negative self-talk. Look to your future and all the positive things you've done and plans you will do!

People "look" like they have their stuff together, but no one does. Everyone is just coping in this world. Unless they have strong faith, they're lost...

So, find a sport you could do with others.You'll meet new people that way. Get into talking about the sport with others.

and yes, like you said, find a hobby that you can do either alone or with others.

I'll pray for you.. God bless.

Last Edited by abeliever on 11/14/2021 07:08 AM
Vision Thing

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11/14/2021 07:19 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
OP I get where you're coming from.

May I suggest a deep dive to learn about crypto.

The camaraderie I've found in the online cryptoverse and the hopium of financial freedom, are what's keeping me going.

It's been engrossing and confidence building to learn about something completely new.

I wish you the best. Even with what I said above, I am really struggling right now as well
[email protected]

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11/14/2021 07:26 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Not to be picking on you, OP .. but everything seems to be about YOU.

Something is amiss in your understanding.

If the TRUTH sets one free, then the opposite can also be true. ERROR puts you into bondage. Error = slavery.

Remember, the TRUTH sets you free.
If you are not FREE, then error has crept in.

Identify the error and expunge it.

Worked for me.


I work endlessly it seems for minimum pay, which is killing me. I am attempting to go back to school for electrical engineering next Summer if things can actually work in terms of staying in school and not flipping my lid with depression or mania.

I need new hobbies. I run 15-20 miles a week, work out every other day (or I was until the past few days), but I see nobody... no one.

I have absolutely zero friends or people that I engage with and it's literally killing me.

I'm getting upset with God over stuff that's out of my control (My Mom passing away, girlfriend breaking up with me, up to my butt in bills, etc.)

Thinking about about buying a paintball gun and joining a league or something, I don't know. I have no idea what to do with my life.

Schizophrenia and BiPolar are kicking my ass and not showing any mercy, so I'm fed up with a lot going on.

Not to mention this COVID crap is stressing me the heck out seeing so many people still wearing masks. It's absurd.

I'm so damn lonely and really don't have a clue what I'm doing in life.

I will be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone again for the 3rd year in a row and that really bums me out that I have nobody to be around for my favorite Holidays.

My faith is pretty much gone. I'm so stressed out, overwhelmed, and lonely I find it difficult to praise God, all-while hearing voices throughout the day.

Is this the life God had in mind for me, to suffer so badly?

Like I mentioned, I feel clueless in life. Everybody seems to have their shit together. Friends, family, relationships or spouses... I just sit at home writing and listening to music and then get my nightly work shift in.

Ugh! This life, tho.
 Quoting: InChristAmen
[email protected]

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11/14/2021 07:26 AM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Not to be picking on you, OP .. but everything seems to be about YOU.

Something is amiss in your understanding.

If the TRUTH sets one free, then the opposite can also be true. ERROR puts you into bondage. Error = slavery.

Remember, the TRUTH sets you free.
If you are not FREE, then error has crept in.

Identify the error and expunge it.

Worked for me.


I work endlessly it seems for minimum pay, which is killing me. I am attempting to go back to school for electrical engineering next Summer if things can actually work in terms of staying in school and not flipping my lid with depression or mania.

I need new hobbies. I run 15-20 miles a week, work out every other day (or I was until the past few days), but I see nobody... no one.

I have absolutely zero friends or people that I engage with and it's literally killing me.

I'm getting upset with God over stuff that's out of my control (My Mom passing away, girlfriend breaking up with me, up to my butt in bills, etc.)

Thinking about about buying a paintball gun and joining a league or something, I don't know. I have no idea what to do with my life.

Schizophrenia and BiPolar are kicking my ass and not showing any mercy, so I'm fed up with a lot going on.

Not to mention this COVID crap is stressing me the heck out seeing so many people still wearing masks. It's absurd.

I'm so damn lonely and really don't have a clue what I'm doing in life.

I will be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone again for the 3rd year in a row and that really bums me out that I have nobody to be around for my favorite Holidays.

My faith is pretty much gone. I'm so stressed out, overwhelmed, and lonely I find it difficult to praise God, all-while hearing voices throughout the day.

Is this the life God had in mind for me, to suffer so badly?

Like I mentioned, I feel clueless in life. Everybody seems to have their shit together. Friends, family, relationships or spouses... I just sit at home writing and listening to music and then get my nightly work shift in.

Ugh! This life, tho.
 Quoting: InChristAmen
Pythia

User ID: 78017698
11/14/2021 07:26 AM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Yoga.
Oracula Sibyllina
InChristAmen  (OP)

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United States
11/14/2021 12:03 PM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
I work endlessly it seems for minimum pay, which is killing me. I am attempting to go back to school for electrical engineering next Summer if things can actually work in terms of staying in school and not flipping my lid with depression or mania.

I need new hobbies. I run 15-20 miles a week, work out every other day (or I was until the past few days), but I see nobody... no one.

I have absolutely zero friends or people that I engage with and it's literally killing me.

I'm getting upset with God over stuff that's out of my control (My Mom passing away, girlfriend breaking up with me, up to my butt in bills, etc.)

Thinking about about buying a paintball gun and joining a league or something, I don't know. I have no idea what to do with my life.

Schizophrenia and BiPolar are kicking my ass and not showing any mercy, so I'm fed up with a lot going on.

Not to mention this COVID crap is stressing me the heck out seeing so many people still wearing masks. It's absurd.

I'm so damn lonely and really don't have a clue what I'm doing in life.

I will be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone again for the 3rd year in a row and that really bums me out that I have nobody to be around for my favorite Holidays.

My faith is pretty much gone. I'm so stressed out, overwhelmed, and lonely I find it difficult to praise God, all-while hearing voices throughout the day.

Is this the life God had in mind for me, to suffer so badly?

Like I mentioned, I feel clueless in life. Everybody seems to have their shit together. Friends, family, relationships or spouses... I just sit at home writing and listening to music and then get my nightly work shift in.

Ugh! This life, tho.
 Quoting: InChristAmen


In short, seems so.
I'm similar.
Going through divorce with 2 kids and losing the home I helped renovate and design and started a family at.
Hit me like a freight train after 7 years of marriage and 12 together total.
I am that last of 7 kids myself, all other siblings happily married twice or three times as long as myself, and more successful financially than me too.
It was dark the last few weeks and had little optimism.
I have so hope now, that even at 45, I can restart my life.
As long as I can get my foot back in the property door to get a house for me and my kids.
 Quoting: Sanity is Hard


OH geez, sorry to hear about the divorce :'(. Hope everything works out for you. Sending you support in the spirit SanityisHard.
InChristAmen  (OP)

User ID: 81053349
United States
11/14/2021 12:05 PM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
As you look around and think “everyone has their shit together” just know that we ALL are fighting our own battles.

A quote I love from my favorite show.

“Everybody's got two wolves inside them. Both of them are starving. The one wolf is anger, envy, pride. The other one's truth, kindness. Every day they tear each other apart. But it's not the better wolf that wins. It's the one you feed.“


Keep close with God, as you know peace comes from within, not from the external world around us.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk to someone bud.
 Quoting: ~LSDMTHC~


Thank you for the reminder about peace coming from within. Sometimes I get blindsided by myself and think that a new situation or scenario will bring me peace... not the case.

Although I don't look for materials to bring me peace, I do look for experiences, relationships, etc. for happiness and perhaps that's a major flaw of mine.

Will keep in touch!
SaveApu

User ID: 79202234
United States
11/14/2021 12:05 PM

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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
Take out a life insurance policy on yourself, make the charity of your choice of beneficiary… you the know the rest. Sounds like about the only good thing left you can do.
InChristAmen  (OP)

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11/14/2021 12:06 PM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
First of all, what you are going though is normal to the human condition. There is nothing wrong with you, just the ups and downs of life. You are in a big down swing.

You do need to connect with God and ask Jesus to be your Lord and savior ASAP. Give him all the glory.

Father, I ask you in Jesus name to draw this man to you and to provide for him in every way, that only you can.

Give him peace, direction, and joy in you.
 Quoting: ringoo


Good advice

At times I have felt I was “walking the plank” as I stepped out in faith and put one foot in front of the other each day to make life and career decisions

It’s murky out there

It’s not easy to find other people - so cherish everyone you meet that responds to you in a human way - do t take them for granted

Your mental Heath challenges are an extra burden and have to be managed the best you can - learn - grow - and have patience with yourself!

A pet to come home to and be responsible for was a blessing for me

Just know ... many of us have faced the loneliness - lived and progressed to another step out into the nothingness

For this holiday season I suggest you find a place that feeds the homeless and participate somehow - serve the holiday Thanksgiving meal and see that loneliness is a human condition and you aren’t necessarily different in that particular way

Going to school would be a good place to improve yourself and meet people - good luck with that. Study up now so your skill levels will meet the challenges

I am so sorry you are alone now - try to think of it as free ... to do the creators will wherever that takes you.
 Quoting: Theobromine


Thank you, big time <3.

I may volunteer for the holidays this year. That would be great I think.
InChristAmen  (OP)

User ID: 81053349
United States
11/14/2021 12:08 PM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
First of all, what you are going though is normal to the human condition. There is nothing wrong with you, just the ups and downs of life. You are in a big down swing.

You do need to connect with God and ask Jesus to be your Lord and savior ASAP. Give him all the glory.

Father, I ask you in Jesus name to draw this man to you and to provide for him in every way, that only you can.

Give him peace, direction, and joy in you.
 Quoting: ringoo


This^^ and..


Ignore negative self-talk. Look to your future and all the positive things you've done and plans you will do!

People "look" like they have their stuff together, but no one does. Everyone is just coping in this world. Unless they have strong faith, they're lost...

So, find a sport you could do with others.You'll meet new people that way. Get into talking about the sport with others.

and yes, like you said, find a hobby that you can do either alone or with others.

I'll pray for you.. God bless.
 Quoting: abeliever


My current goal(s)!

Thank you for the love and prayer.
lightingmacsteem

User ID: 80912898
Philippines
11/14/2021 12:15 PM
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Re: I have no idea where to build my life from. Never been this empty before. Not looking for a pity party, just some more advice.
How about seek more of the real Yahshua (Jesus Christ) of the promised salvation for humankind... ?

Start from here my friend:

[link to www.bitchute.com (secure)]

May the Elohim Abba YHWH (God The Father) protect you and keep you. Ahmein.





GLP