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Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship

 
Anonymous Coward
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11/20/2021 12:09 PM
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Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
It's the Holidays.


Be wise! Be kind. Be wise!

If your significant other has struggles with their family. Be wise! Be kind. Be Wise!








Get ready for the holidays.

My public service announcement.




.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 12:24 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
Boundaries.

Gray rock.

Be kind.

Be true to your values.

Focus on your family not your family of origin.

Share the understanding of the dysfunction with your kids, so they can recognize all of it and end the tradition.


God Bless all of you out there who get treated like you are 5 years old when you are a grown adult.

.
Swamprat

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11/20/2021 12:28 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
Narcissists will lay conversational traps and landmines of all sorts.

Study techniques to deal with these people and learn to accept the fact that they are who they are.
We aren't cut out to be socialists.We are the people who couldn't be constrained by Europe. We are the malcontents, idealists, speculators, dreamers, inventors, debtors and criminals who would not be chained. We don't play well with others, we are brash, outlandish and cunning. let us do what we do best; let us be Americans.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 12:34 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
Tip.

Be wise.

Handle with care.

Avoid any situation where your kids are hurt.


Keep your heart and your eyes open. Notice it all.


If the Uncle of the family is a bad person and you want your kids to steer clear or avoid sketchy situations with the uncle then you are doing it wrong.

YOU the parent shelter your kids from the Uncle, abusive mother whatever..

I was told as a kid to just allow the verbal abuse of my elder family member, to be better than them and deal with it.


No.

Adults deal with the dysfunctional adults and kids are to be kids.


Follow me for more holiday tips.
Larry4Trump

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11/20/2021 12:38 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
Narcissists will lay conversational traps and landmines of all sorts.

Study techniques to deal with these people and learn to accept the fact that they are who they are.
 Quoting: Swamprat


they are crafty
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 12:38 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
Narcissists will lay conversational traps and landmines of all sorts.

Study techniques to deal with these people and learn to accept the fact that they are who they are.
 Quoting: Swamprat


Shelter your kids from that abusive Thanksgiving table or kitchen or hunting trip.

Focus on your immediate family, everyone else should only get access to your kids with your permission and your wisdom.



Be wise.
maddox

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11/20/2021 12:38 PM

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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
understanding NARSISISUM is key.....
you must remain in control of what you say and express at all times,,,
unless you are ready for RANTING n RAGING for ungodly days and days..doUknowhatimean?
oh i learned
20 years of recent experience and understanding it here..its dangerous.
maddox

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11/20/2021 12:40 PM

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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
saving thread to favs to check back for more comments and ideas.thank you for posting this thread op,,its important
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 12:42 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
understanding NARSISISUM is key.....
you must remain in control of what you say and express at all times,,,
unless you are ready for RANTING n RAGING for ungodly days and days..doUknowhatimean?
oh i learned
20 years of recent experience and understanding it here..its dangerous.
 Quoting: maddox



Keep your heart soft and full of love, but don't take it out to be stabbed.

No one is entitled to abuse you.


Be kind. Be wise.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 12:46 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
saving thread to favs to check back for more comments and ideas.thank you for posting this thread op,,its important
 Quoting: maddox


It was worth the karma points for me.

For about the next six weeks a lot of people feel entitled to be abusive, and you don't have to go with it thinking it makes you a nice person. You are not a nice person if you allow your kids or your spouse to be emotionally abused, even casually.



.
buster4445

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11/20/2021 12:46 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
It's the Holidays.


Be wise! Be kind. Be wise!

If your significant other has struggles with their family. Be wise! Be kind. Be Wise!








Get ready for the holidays.

My public service announcement.




.
 Quoting: Raylie Ann




I have been looking at this topic for a while and than you for this thread. All need to be aware of this most important issue. 5 for you.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 12:48 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
It's the Holidays.


Be wise! Be kind. Be wise!

If your significant other has struggles with their family. Be wise! Be kind. Be Wise!








Get ready for the holidays.

My public service announcement.




.
 Quoting: Raylie Ann




I have been looking at this topic for a while and than you for this thread. All need to be aware of this most important issue. 5 for you.
 Quoting: buster4445



You are welcome.

Keep a soft loving heart but end the dysfunction. You don't have to make abuse a family tradition.

.
Lady Jane SmithModerator
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11/20/2021 01:02 PM

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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
My mother is a malignant narcissist.

12 years no contact now. Most peaceful 12 years of my life.

She still tries to get to me though other relatives, but I just throw up a brick wall.

The relatives think I am terrible. I do not care. My sanity and the safety of my children is paramount.

Bitch made her bed, she can lie in it.
Fate whispers to the warrior

"You cannot withstand the storm"

the warrior whispers back

"I am the storm"

INTJ-A

Killer Bunny
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11/20/2021 01:20 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
Soul search what it means to Honor your parents. We are not commanded to love them but we are commanded to honor them.


Consider how we honor the office of President but do not necessarily feel affection for the person holding that office.




I can not link this.. but suffice to say these are not my words and the link can be searched.


God made honoring our parents one of the Ten Commandments so we could never just turn away from those who gave us precious gifts, however feeble the delivery. In so doing, He forced us to wrestle with our consciences, our humanity and most deeply held convictions.


..
maddox

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11/20/2021 01:21 PM

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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
saving thread to favs to check back for more comments and ideas.thank you for posting this thread op,,its important
 Quoting: maddox


It was worth the karma points for me.

For about the next six weeks a lot of people feel entitled to be abusive, and you don't have to go with it thinking it makes you a nice person. You are not a nice person if you allow your kids or your spouse to be emotionally abused, even casually.



.
 Quoting: Raylie Ann


if you have to be around the NARC.just keep your cool.be smarter and alert.do NOT ENGAGE them and avoidance is always the safest policy ..its dangerous if they rage on
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 01:26 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
My mother is a malignant narcissist.

12 years no contact now. Most peaceful 12 years of my life.

She still tries to get to me though other relatives, but I just throw up a brick wall.

The relatives think I am terrible. I do not care. My sanity and the safety of my children is paramount.

Bitch made her bed, she can lie in it.
 Quoting: Lady Jane Smith


I support you.

It has to end.

She is an adult.

Protect your kids. Honor her by breaking the pain cycle.


.
maddox

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11/20/2021 01:27 PM

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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
My mother is a malignant narcissist.

12 years no contact now. Most peaceful 12 years of my life.

She still tries to get to me though other relatives, but I just throw up a brick wall.

The relatives think I am terrible. I do not care. My sanity and the safety of my children is paramount.

Bitch made her bed, she can lie in it.
 Quoting: Lady Jane Smith


im so srry to hear this
it had to be very confusing and scary and disappointing ...
its how i feel about my 20 year experience w a raging narc
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 01:32 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
My mother is a malignant narcissist.

12 years no contact now. Most peaceful 12 years of my life.

She still tries to get to me though other relatives, but I just throw up a brick wall.

The relatives think I am terrible. I do not care. My sanity and the safety of my children is paramount.

Bitch made her bed, she can lie in it.
 Quoting: Lady Jane Smith


My mother is creating her narrative of me and mine.

Abusive people don't like boundaries and they don't like mirrors.


.
maddox

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11/20/2021 01:32 PM

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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
understanding NARSISISUM is key.....
you must remain in control of what you say and express at all times,,,
unless you are ready for RANTING n RAGING for ungodly days and days..doUknowhatimean?
oh i learned
20 years of recent experience and understanding it here..its dangerous.
 Quoting: maddox



Keep your heart soft and full of love, but don't take it out to be stabbed.

No one is entitled to abuse you.


Be kind. Be wise.
 Quoting: Raylie Ann


hug

always forlove always for the positive.
and respect for all but ..no one will "narcissist" on me ever again bc i now know the signs and hallmarks of that sneaky dirty behavior
buster4445

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11/20/2021 01:33 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
We can lose sight of the fact that these people known as Narcissistic were also victims of 'their childhood'. Yes, I am aware my punctuation leaves much to be desired HeHe. I puts em where I feels em. Not pointing at any in this thread. Timely thread.
DNoMo Michele B

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11/20/2021 01:40 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
Boundaries.

Gray rock.

Be kind.

Be true to your values.

Focus on your family not your family of origin.

Share the understanding of the dysfunction with your kids, so they can recognize all of it and end the tradition.


God Bless all of you out there who get treated like you are 5 years old when you are a grown adult.

.
 Quoting: Raylie Ann



Thank you for this.


THIS IS VERY WISE ADVICE!!!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 01:42 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
understanding NARSISISUM is key.....
you must remain in control of what you say and express at all times,,,
unless you are ready for RANTING n RAGING for ungodly days and days..doUknowhatimean?
oh i learned
20 years of recent experience and understanding it here..its dangerous.
 Quoting: maddox



Keep your heart soft and full of love, but don't take it out to be stabbed.

No one is entitled to abuse you.


Be kind. Be wise.
 Quoting: Raylie Ann


hug

always forlove always for the positive.
and respect for all but ..no one will "narcissist" on me ever again bc i now know the signs and hallmarks of that sneaky dirty behavior
 Quoting: maddox


Maddox have a perfect holiday season! Honor your family with deep wisdom.

So thankful for our Savior for descending from his throne above to come here, take on an infant body to grow in grace and heal the world. What on earth needs more healing than the family. Be kind. Be wise. Shelter your kids.


.
DNoMo Michele B

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11/20/2021 01:42 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
My mother is a malignant narcissist.

12 years no contact now. Most peaceful 12 years of my life.

She still tries to get to me though other relatives, but I just throw up a brick wall.

The relatives think I am terrible. I do not care. My sanity and the safety of my children is paramount.

Bitch made her bed, she can lie in it.
 Quoting: Lady Jane Smith



So sorry to hear this LJ.....


It's a terrible way for a child to grow up. As adults, if we recognize it, we CAN "walk away," but children are stuck in that environment.


hugs
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 01:45 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
We can lose sight of the fact that these people known as Narcissistic were also victims of 'their childhood'. Yes, I am aware my punctuation leaves much to be desired HeHe. I puts em where I feels em. Not pointing at any in this thread. Timely thread.
 Quoting: buster4445


Narcissist are victims. Perpetual victims.

Choose a path out of the cycle.



.
Justice4all

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11/20/2021 01:45 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
It's not 1975 anymore. You are not a teenager. You are not still teenage siblings. You are not a teenage child of this parent. Live in the now.

Get over wishing you had had a better childhood. Most parents were wounded people themselves, dealing with a lot of shit when you were a kid, just as you are dealing with alot of shit now in your life as a grown up, and they were probably this close to snapping all the time too, just like you are now. It doesn't make it right, it just is what it was.

You can't change an old person. If your parent/s are now in their 70s 80s or 90s, they are never going to change. They are never going to admit they were wrong, or could have done better, or were hard on you, or that their actions were not just, or not justified. If you are waiting for that day to come, in some argument, in some revelation, or some miracle, it's never going to happen.

See your parents as the flawed human beings they are. You are not going to get your closure, your Hallmark moment. You are never going to convince them of anything.

Let it go.

Don't engage. Talk about safe topics, things there is agreement on, if there is anything good from the past to reminisce about, do so. Find the limited common ground, and stay in that zone. Because anything else is just not worth it.

One day, soon they will be gone...parents, siblings....and then they will know what they did wrong, and how they could have done better, and that knowledge for you will have to be enough.

My best friend, whose parents were not good to her, not abusive, but not good, when her dad died, and then a few years later, her mother died unexpectedly, I asked her, how to you feel, and she said....

I feel free for the first time in my life.

So one day you will be free too, of all this family of origin crap, so set yourself free now, just don't go there.

It takes two (or more) to argue, make a scene, etc. Just let it go.
Feathery

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11/20/2021 01:50 PM

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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
My father was the narcissist, my Mother was an enabler and alcoholic. She enjoyed tormenting me, but I only understood that recently.

I was about 16, sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cola in a glass. I turned around or got up for a second, then sat back down. When I drank again from the glass, it was pancake syrup.

She had put syrup in the same type of glass, taken mine away, then let me drink it.

She was a super sick lady. She also enjoyed having other people hurt me.
Tomfoolery
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11/20/2021 01:50 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
It's not 1975 anymore. You are not a teenager. You are not still teenage siblings. You are not a teenage child of this parent. Live in the now.

Get over wishing you had had a better childhood. Most parents were wounded people themselves, dealing with a lot of shit when you were a kid, just as you are dealing with alot of shit now in your life as a grown up, and they were probably this close to snapping all the time too, just like you are now. It doesn't make it right, it just is what it was.

You can't change an old person. If your parent/s are now in their 70s 80s or 90s, they are never going to change. They are never going to admit they were wrong, or could have done better, or were hard on you, or that their actions were not just, or not justified. If you are waiting for that day to come, in some argument, in some revelation, or some miracle, it's never going to happen.

See your parents as the flawed human beings they are. You are not going to get your closure, your Hallmark moment. You are never going to convince them of anything.

Let it go.

Don't engage. Talk about safe topics, things there is agreement on, if there is anything good from the past to reminisce about, do so. Find the limited common ground, and stay in that zone. Because anything else is just not worth it.

One day, soon they will be gone...parents, siblings....and then they will know what they did wrong, and how they could have done better, and that knowledge for you will have to be enough.

My best friend, whose parents were not good to her, not abusive, but not good, when her dad died, and then a few years later, her mother died unexpectedly, I asked her, how to you feel, and she said....

I feel free for the first time in my life.

So one day you will be free too, of all this family of origin crap, so set yourself free now, just don't go there.

It takes two (or more) to argue, make a scene, etc. Just let it go.
 Quoting: Justice4all



Truth!


Thank you for posting.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 01:55 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
My father was the narcissist, my Mother was an enabler and alcoholic. She enjoyed tormenting me, but I only understood that recently.

I was about 16, sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cola in a glass. I turned around or got up for a second, then sat back down. When I drank again from the glass, it was pancake syrup.

She had put syrup in the same type of glass, taken mine away, then let me drink it.

She was a super sick lady. She also enjoyed having other people hurt me.
 Quoting: Feathery



I am so sorry.

I am just so sorry.

I don't know where you are in the cycle of family life, but use the knowledge of the ugly to create something beautiful inside your family and your heart.


.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 02:01 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
Thank you for the pin
DognamedDOPIE

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11/20/2021 02:01 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
My mother is a malignant narcissist.

12 years no contact now. Most peaceful 12 years of my life.

She still tries to get to me though other relatives, but I just throw up a brick wall.

The relatives think I am terrible. I do not care. My sanity and the safety of my children is paramount.

Bitch made her bed, she can lie in it.
 Quoting: Lady Jane Smith


the last line hits home, my Mother in Law is a nut job and ultimately cut herself off from her grand daughter. its a privilege not a right. and weird new boyfriends wont be called her grandfather to validate the relationship. shit disgusts me
We knew it was coming.
If you live in the castle, you better be King.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/20/2021 02:04 PM
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Re: Share your family holiday survival tips & Expert Video about 3 Types of a Daughter / Narcissistic Mother Relationship
My mother is a malignant narcissist.

12 years no contact now. Most peaceful 12 years of my life.

She still tries to get to me though other relatives, but I just throw up a brick wall.

The relatives think I am terrible. I do not care. My sanity and the safety of my children is paramount.

Bitch made her bed, she can lie in it.
 Quoting: Lady Jane Smith


the last line hits home, my Mother in Law is a nut job and ultimately cut herself off from her grand daughter. its a privilege not a right. and weird new boyfriends wont be called her grandfather to validate the relationship. shit disgusts me
 Quoting: DognamedDOPIE





GLP