It's not 1975 anymore. You are not a teenager. You are not still teenage siblings. You are not a teenage child of this parent. Live in the now.

Get over wishing you had had a better childhood. Most parents were wounded people themselves, dealing with a lot of shit when you were a kid, just as you are dealing with alot of shit now in your life as a grown up, and they were probably this close to snapping all the time too, just like you are now. It doesn't make it right, it just is what it was.

You can't change an old person. If your parent/s are now in their 70s 80s or 90s, they are never going to change. They are never going to admit they were wrong, or could have done better, or were hard on you, or that their actions were not just, or not justified. If you are waiting for that day to come, in some argument, in some revelation, or some miracle, it's never going to happen.

See your parents as the flawed human beings they are. You are not going to get your closure, your Hallmark moment. You are never going to convince them of anything.

Let it go.

Don't engage. Talk about safe topics, things there is agreement on, if there is anything good from the past to reminisce about, do so. Find the limited common ground, and stay in that zone. Because anything else is just not worth it.

One day, soon they will be gone...parents, siblings....and then they will know what they did wrong, and how they could have done better, and that knowledge for you will have to be enough.

My best friend, whose parents were not good to her, not abusive, but not good, when her dad died, and then a few years later, her mother died unexpectedly, I asked her, how to you feel, and she said....

I feel free for the first time in my life.

So one day you will be free too, of all this family of origin crap, so set yourself free now, just don't go there.

It takes two (or more) to argue, make a scene, etc. Just let it go.