How the fuck do I cook a live lobster?

Can I throw it in with rubber bands??

Bands off chunk him in pretty much instant death, there should be a minute per # guide online somewhere.

Hint: You can’t cook a live lobster without killing it.

I thought you lower them head first into boiling water.

How do I get the bands off??? I'm seriously afraid. If I wear my oven mitts will it work?

Not sure boiling something alive is ever gonna be humane tbh

I don't have long enough tongs

seriously Natalie?

Yes. Seriously.

[link to youtu.be (secure)]

Put bill cosby in the Lobster cage trap.

I was going to try with crawfish but they take days to arrive from Louisiana and it was expensive:/

:/

You are just in the mood to kill something live as opposed to eating something thats frozen.

Enjoy Your kill and get on with it. Go with Head first to end the misery.

When we hunt we go with quick kill shots to lungs / heart / Brain. We don't shoot the legs / ass / or ears. That would be in-humane.

So don't lower tail-first, thats needless pain for the lobster.

You should just eat ramen

^^ shrimp flavored! Tastes just like lobster.

- 2”- 3” water max, you want to steam them, not boil them
- don’t add salt, they retain enough in their bodies
- Bring water to rolling boil.
- Yes, cut the bands off, they can leave a rubber taste
- just put them in and cover the pot. Some people try to stun them by holding their head down in the water, good way to get burned.
- here’s the important part - once it’s back to boiling, you only need to cook them 14 to 16 minutes depending on how full the pot is. Maybe a little fore if it’s a large pot with more than 10 in it. Most people overcook them. If you have quite a few a quick shift with the tongs mid way is fine.
- buy them at 1 1/4 - 1 1/2 pounds; they get tougher as they get to 2 Ibs. Just buy more smaller ones.

Microwave for 20 minutes with a pot of water next to it.

You should of just went to Red Lobster and let the pro's handle it.

Ah FFS, just jump in with the fecking thing ya pussy.

Don't be a wimp!

Eat it raw!

More like I bitched out the first time, and I eat meat anyway. I also don't know how to fish. But I want to learn. And I'm going to have to kill them.

it will die slowly ... out of salt water.

If you have it in possession. Best get on with it.

It has yet to arrive...

i always split it from the underside between the legs, and continue to split up the thorax and head.

grill or boil from this point after a quick rinse. its dead. boil or geill fom here. once the shell turns red all over, its done.

Cut it in half alive, clean it, and grill it.

That's the best way.

Shoot it in the head first. :)

Be sure of your backstop!

Or grab your samarai sword and run at it yelling your battle cry and then execute the lobster with an overhead slicing/dacapitation motion. :)

Or if you have a table saw, just run him across the table saw. :)

Or modify an extension cord. Cut off one end and wire it into 2 sharp steel probes. Then give it 120 V across the noggin.

There must be, 50 ways to kill your lobster.
50 ways to kill your lobster.



Last Edited by JustmeTX on 01/22/2022 01:51 PM