Not doom. Need help

Guys I need help.

I’ve been coming here on and off for at least 10 years. I’ve subscribed on and off since the pandemic.

I’m a 53 year old man. My life has been anything but normal.

I was always very smart, especially in math, computers, science but I actually did better in verbal SATS than math.

I was accepted at every college I applied to, including an Ivy League, but wanted out of the north east but still went to a top ten university.

The summer after I graduated high school I developed a chronic headache problem. It wrecked my life. I was able to go to school - college and grad school - because it was easy. I knew my life was over but figured the degrees would help if I ever got better.

I was able to work, lost my job, couldn’t find another and had to move home bc of the recession in 2009.

Between then and now I was sick and my parents became old and needed a caregiver. I became it. I hate doing it.

Back 30 years ago when I was in college or grad school my dad was in a bad car accident, was unable to work again. After that my mom was the one who wrote the checks, applied for credit etc. She was good at handling money and playing the frequent flyer mile credit card game.

This resulted in all household credit being in her name. My father didn’t need it, he was retired, disabled, and could be an authorized user to one of my moms cards. All household expenses were put thru one of these cards and then the balance was paid monthly.

My mom died 2 months ago. I have had the unenviable task of trying to establish credit for an 84 year old man who is starting to sound senile, plus my brother and I need to be authorized users bc we take care of him and the house hold. I hold general power of attorney.

First I went to chase bank in my town, got him signed up on a card with ample credit. I was an authorized user. For some reason they wouldn’t activate, were flagged by the fraud dept. i can’t call them bc it’s impossible to reach a human and hold times are absurd.

Next I went to BOA. The lady set us up. All three cards were sent overnight and activated fine. They are now all deactivated, flagged by the fraud dept.

I tried to buy dinner tonight at 5 guys. My brand new BOA card was declined. Then somehow my own Citicard that I’ve had for 30 years was declined by 5 guys. Before you say it was their point of sale card reader my brothers BOA card was declined elsewhere after this happened at 5 guys.

What do I do? All recurring charges are funneled thru the card. It is so much easier. I pay the card online and write one check a month. We are getting to the point where electricity and cable will be shut off.

Do I have to hire an attorney to deal with these scumbags?

Also before someone tells me to go to a credit union, to not feed the beast, I need results now. That will come later. But now it has to be expedient.

I feel like I have an IQ of 10. This should be simple. I also feel like I’ve let my family down. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this low.

Thanks for your help.