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My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit

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Whiskey*Tango

User ID: 84834399
United States
01/21/2023 10:42 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Should I? Sincere replies only.

Thank you hf
 Quoting: rewind


My dad married my ex boyfriends mom. My ex boyfriends mom, after cashing my dads paychecks for a while, decided my dad needed to give me space. He wasn’t speaking to me when he died. No one can tell me why, even his wife.

Go see your dad.

Cheers!
ADEND

User ID: 83194324
United States
01/21/2023 10:44 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
What is your gut telling you?
 Quoting: Woogy


Yes and praying for God to show me the way. Thank you hf
 Quoting: rewind


Go with God and your gut.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 83857831
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01/21/2023 10:47 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Speaking from a fathers standpoint…

I married a woman that my kids didn’t approve of. She’s still with me. My daughter came around and now they’re good friends. My son is bringing his family around once in a while and things are getting better there as well. It tears a father up to have a child leave our life. Some of us also realize that the decision they make is their own. The child has their life and will eventually lead their life without you in it. Some sooner than later. I love my wife and was alone without her. My children were raised right and just had to find their form of forgiveness. I’m glad they did.

I know that your father will love having you in his life again. I pray you find your form of forgiveness for him.
jackleson

User ID: 13533715
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01/21/2023 10:50 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Sure, but get a hotel. You’ll get along a lot better.
Garufal

User ID: 79964821
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01/21/2023 10:50 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
So you didn't attend her funeral?

There must be more to the story you're leaving out
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880


She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world.
 Quoting: rewind


You should. It would mean a lot to him. Sounds like he wants to correct his mistakes. When you get up there in life 70s-80s...you think about it a LOT.
A epiphany I had watering my lawn one day.

"Karma is the universal judicial system that NOBODY is Immune from" -Me

I LOVE good juicy gossip. Lay it on me.
rewind  (OP)
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User ID: 75655673
United States
01/21/2023 10:55 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
OP, I would visit.

When my mother died, my dad got so lonely he stopped taking care of himself and want eating good.

He started coming over to my apartment because he was so lonely and often he would fall asleep, I guess he got so much relief from being around me that he could relax.

I eventually moved into his home, took care of him for 20 years and inherited everything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76538212


Bless you vhugs
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

User ID: 75655673
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01/21/2023 10:56 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Sure, but get a hotel. You’ll get along a lot better.
 Quoting: jackleson


Excellent advice. Hf
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

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01/21/2023 10:57 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Speaking from a fathers standpoint…

I married a woman that my kids didn’t approve of. She’s still with me. My daughter came around and now they’re good friends. My son is bringing his family around once in a while and things are getting better there as well. It tears a father up to have a child leave our life. Some of us also realize that the decision they make is their own. The child has their life and will eventually lead their life without you in it. Some sooner than later. I love my wife and was alone without her. My children were raised right and just had to find their form of forgiveness. I’m glad they did.

I know that your father will love having you in his life again. I pray you find your form of forgiveness for him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 83857831


Thanks for the share. Appreciate you. Sun
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80073096
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01/21/2023 10:58 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Renewed love, yes, you are blessed.
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

User ID: 75655673
United States
01/21/2023 10:58 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Should I? Sincere replies only.

Thank you hf
 Quoting: rewind


My dad married my ex boyfriends mom. My ex boyfriends mom, after cashing my dads paychecks for a while, decided my dad needed to give me space. He wasn’t speaking to me when he died. No one can tell me why, even his wife.

Go see your dad.

Cheers!
 Quoting: Whiskey*Tango


Wow... Got to chuckle some hugs

Thank you
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

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01/21/2023 10:59 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Renewed love, yes, you are blessed.
 Quoting: pool


Thanks lovely for stopping in w your blessingshugs
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

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01/21/2023 11:00 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
You don't have to do it for him, but do it for you. Someday, when he is gone, you will wish you had made peace with him. It will be good for your soul. I wish you all the best.
 Quoting: gamecock


This! hf

And he wants to see you… you already forgave him, maybe he wants to ask for forgiveness… go visit him, do it for you.

lmhugs
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


Snppy

:)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80073096
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01/21/2023 11:01 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Renewed love, yes, you are blessed.
 Quoting: pool


Thanks lovely for stopping in w your blessingshugs
 Quoting: rewind


I'm sure your voice will soothe him. hugs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80576203
United States
01/21/2023 11:02 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
So you didn't attend her funeral?

There must be more to the story you're leaving out
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880


She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world.
 Quoting: rewind


Go, sit, have a warm drink, listen.
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

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01/21/2023 11:02 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Go see him.

You're stronger than all that!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85122045


I am. I'm going. If it becomes possible?
 Quoting: rewind



What do you mean if it becomes possible?
 Quoting: ~Sloane~


Need a way. In timely manner. It's quite a drive. No road blocks thus far. Need to finish the process tires insurance etc. Minor stuff .. so far so good.
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

User ID: 75655673
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01/21/2023 11:03 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
So you didn't attend her funeral?

There must be more to the story you're leaving out
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880


She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world.
 Quoting: rewind


Go, sit, have a warm drink, listen.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80576203


And get his rhubarb wine method hopefully he has kept that going. I was too young before to get anything but a sip. rof
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

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01/21/2023 11:05 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Thank you All. I have looked at each and everyone of yours gracious replies. I really appreciate your heartfelt responses. tuliplove2
rewind  (OP)
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01/21/2023 11:08 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
My friend I'm helping out just said screw him. You didn't like his wife. Make him come here. Then he goes where is he? Florida?


What a pos. I say friend with the utmost sarcasm possible at all in. Life on any given day.
 Quoting: rewind


To where?
 Quoting: 1r0n4n9el


Exactly. What a dufus. My father likely wouldn't appreciate this nasty place .. lmfao
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

User ID: 75655673
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01/21/2023 11:09 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
My father disowned both me and my bother, or rather there was no communication. I tried very hard to have a relationship with for years, but nothing.

I found he had died over a month after he passed. An attorney contacted my mother, asking for me and my brothers phone numbers, because my dad had remember us in his will.

I will tell you sister, I would've given that money up in a heartbeat, just to have been able to talk to him again....just one more time.


I'm thinking you're getting my point.....hugs
 Quoting: cosmicgypsy


Bighug4
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

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01/21/2023 11:11 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Life can be complicated.

I had a friend that after his father remarried, his new wife would not allow her husband to have anything to do with his adult kids ( She was crazy )After 25+ years of marriage my friends dad invited his son to visit a lake cabin ( 2nd home ) he had for a one day visit. His wife threatened to change the locks on his primary home and lock him out on his return if he allowed his son to visit that lake cabin.

Sure enough on his return my friends dad was locked out and was the start of his divorce.

The lake cabin neighbors later told me she soon after drove her car 3+ hours to that lake house, backed her car in, took out a neighbors porch in the process the filled her trunk with Azaleas and yelled something about her husband was getting the cabin but not the shrubs...

You never know the hell and crazy demands a crazy spouse can require someone to do.

OP perhaps your Dad had little control when his wife was alive? She is gone I would go see him...
 Quoting: Soundman


Very good point. Maybe she was more of a prison warden than the love of his life.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80090688


Hf
TikTokTinyCock
User ID: 85139505
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01/21/2023 11:12 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
...


I am. I'm going. If it becomes possible?
 Quoting: rewind



What do you mean if it becomes possible?
 Quoting: ~Sloane~


Need a way. In timely manner. It's quite a drive. No road blocks thus far. Need to finish the process tires insurance etc. Minor stuff .. so far so good.
 Quoting: rewind


Sounds like a grift to me. Maybe your new bf can help, lol

Thread: Beware of taco vendors in the current climate
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85139505


He’s from Florida too ain’t he
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 85139420
01/21/2023 11:12 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
hiding:kitcar:
:areuhigh::sagansmoke:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 85139505
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01/21/2023 11:13 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
You can delete but I’ll just repost when you pass out drunk
Idaho Potato

User ID: 84980742
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01/21/2023 11:15 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
GO SEE HIM
Idaho Potato, it's what's for dinner
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

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01/21/2023 11:15 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Go and do everything you can do for him. You will be so very glad you forgave him and loved him. One day the world will repay you. Go. Do it all. Be admirable beyond reason. Go.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80926176


Great post. Thank you tons sun
rewind  (OP)
Militant Bitch

User ID: 75655673
United States
01/21/2023 11:19 PM

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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Just don't be surprised when you have some really strong mixed emotions after spending time with him. Realize that none of those emotions needs to be 'fixed', let them all co-exist. It is what it is. Parent/child relationships are deep stuff.
 Quoting: Windsage


So much insight in all your replies. What a treasure. And sorry I did read all I am just overwhelmed with your kindnesses and good will. Take these as all inclusive and no one feel left out or ignored. I can't thank you all enough right now.

Peace
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 47417854
United States
01/21/2023 11:20 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
So you didn't attend her funeral?

There must be more to the story you're leaving out
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880


She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world.
 Quoting: rewind


Life is just too short. We are built to forgive and move on. It's just harder for some than others. Family, love and forgiveness is exactly what humanity needs right now.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 73836095
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01/21/2023 11:20 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
What is your gut telling you?
 Quoting: Woogy


Yes and praying for God to show me the way. Thank you hf
 Quoting: rewind


——
If you were never abused or harmed by your father, go & see him. None of us have plentiful years & years ahead as we are living in Biblical “End Times.” You could be very thankful you opened your heart.


.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 47417854
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01/21/2023 11:22 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
So you didn't attend her funeral?

There must be more to the story you're leaving out
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880


She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world.
 Quoting: rewind


Life is too short. Love, family, forgiveness....it's what we are meant to do. Even when it is severely difficult. Our maker died for us...and forgave us.

Forgive, love and move on in life.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80090688
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01/21/2023 11:23 PM
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Re: My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit
Keep us updated on how it goes.

hf





GLP