Clownworld Story Land : GLP Edition

Let's just blow off steam and write the dumbest Clown World unapproved stories we can. The dumber, the better. Maybe we can have a laugh or two before The Tardeling.

I'll start with one I posted in another thread. Feel free to add to it, or just go buck wild, who cares...



"Private Parrts, we have GOT to get an ID on this enemy actor! The whole Division is counting on us. Use the new system we trained on last week!"

"Rhonda that, Sarge. I'm zooming in on the individual now...OK the Gaydar 3000 confirms the target is indeed Cis. Biometrics show that he has NO Bud Light in his system. He may have even eaten beef lately!"

"Holy Mulvaney, Parrts, that's gotta be the guy. The transphobic bastard smirked at General Millie in the broad goddam daylight. Can you get a AH69 Whispering Unicorn out of Pittsburg to do a gun run?"

"Negative, Sarge, only air we got is a T38. Commander Pickles is training his diverse life partner how to fly. Mobunda has never even seen a plane until today...I don't know what they can do..."

"Dammit, Parrts, we'll just have to do it ourselves. Put on your hiking pumps, we're goin down there..."