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Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 83962627
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09/18/2023 11:22 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
OP,
My 5 foot tall, 300 pound, diabetic mother in law moved into my living room too!


IF HE ENDS UP IN THE HOSPITAL REFUSE TO TAKE HIM BACK. SAY HE IS HOMELESS. STAY FIRM, THE HOSPITAL WILL TRY AND SAY ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO TACK HIM BACK. I DID THIS AND SHE ENDED UP FINE.

GOOD LUCK!hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85010749


Yup. Say you have no room for him. They will get a place for him and your wife can visit him.
Anonymous Coward
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09/18/2023 11:24 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
The old man has Medicare. Life is short and he is now a useless eater. I HATE cigarette smoke but it is YOUR home. Sit down with your wife and put this old man in a retirement facility for the sake of your sanity and your quality of life. Medicare will pay for it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80736688


They will take his money for his room and board. It would go for living expenses no matter what.
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2023 12:13 AM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Where is the black hooker he was supporting? Why can’t he live with her?

Tell her he’s almost 90 and can’t get it up anymore. All she has to do is cuddle with him once in awhile for 3K/mo.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76367190


Hey he lives in a military town…black hookers, tattoos, and bars are on every corner and are a dime a dozen for the ones insane enough to “trick” an old man.

The good look’in “escorts” would take his SSI for one visit where she (or heShe) flashes the headlights on the way out the door with $$$ in one hand and dic in the other.

Better option is Medicare Home Health.
It will probably pay for a curvey catholic border hopper who will visit him everyday like an angel…doing his dishes, laundry, feeding him, administering his meds, accompanying him on his walks, applying lotion there too (doctor’s orders) all with a smile. Combined with the Senior Center’s Measles On Wheezles he shouldn’t worry about going hungry, being lonely, being neglected (that way too).

Op’s family should charge him 90% for the rent etc leaving FIL 10% to spend on bingo & booze down by the beach, or a weekly coffee at, uh, let’s say Hardee’s …and he should treat the whole family to all of that.
Room222

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09/19/2023 12:25 AM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
I don't really post personal stuff like this but i have no friends here and really not even another grown dude to vent with in person over this shit show .

Wife and I 28 years / 23 married /3 great kids . Sold the store and left NYS 13 years ago to escape NY . Mother in law died same year and that allowed us to LEAVE for good for Eastern NC where I had a job waiting .

I was 46 then . I am now 57 fatter and angrier like most in this nation . I work hard at a trade on the USMC base and wife is with me 24/7 . I do not drive because of a fine in NYS and frankly I could care less about driving . I still drink once or twice a week . Sometimes heavy on a Saturday while i do chores outside or have a hobby to contend with .

The wife and I don't argue and life has been quiet while our kids turned into adults here .


Thats the background .

My Father in Law squandered his Wife's Life insurance on black whores and bad financial decisions and went through
100 Grand in 10 years while living with his daughter for 6 years . The last 4 years with his son . My wife is the youngest of 4 . The other daughter , the oldest doesn't want shit to do with him . None of his grand kids call him . The Daughter he lived with is now in R-wing and has been for months in NYS . The Son had a hissy fit and threw the old man < 86> to the front steps 3 weeks ago and my wife drove up to NYS to get him and bring him here to are 2 bedroom trailer i was forced to rent after our house lease went up $1500.00 on the new lease . We had a 5 bedroom home for 5 years and the old man refused to move in with us then . had he I likely would have a house now with his help with the mortgage . because of housing insanity here in Jacksonville NC I rent 2 trailers to keep my family intact in a trailer park with 4 trailers .



He sits in my living room in a recliner all fucking day with the tv on . I got him head phones because we are not TV people .

My daughter is now displaced and is across the gravel driveway in my Sons trailer , sleeping on the couch because he now has displaced her by taking HER BEDROOM .

He is a passive aggressive man with a 6th grade education and drove a city bus for 25 years . Spent most of his extra $ on lottery tickets and supported his crack head son for 30 years and paid his rent and his own mortgage as they lived in a double up and down in Rochester NY .

The hood came into that area badly and he sold the house , the son moved out with another POS Giant crazy woman and went away . Some time around this time he meets a 30 something black hooker and she takes him for all he is worth . He buys her 2 cars in 10 years and pays the entire shot plus insurance secretly .

He gets caught eventually and plays dumb . Wifes crazy sister and him buy a home together and all is well for 6 years . Again the bl;ack girl comes back and extorts him . Old man and sister move to new house but she has a mental health breakdown and kicks him out for apparently viewing her in bathroom she says . he says he had to piss and she was in there forever . new online husband kicks the oldman out and is collecting the $ of Sister in R wing like a champ .

So now he has to go back to sons house where he was inbetween about a year prior . Son is a 30 year crack head who now drinks JD every night and heavily drinks to black outs on week ends and ignores his father 100 % . The old man now calls my wife to come and get him to live with us .


I smoke , she smokes . We now smoke outside . After 9pm he is in bed and I ventilate trailer and have maybe 2 smokes before 10 . I go to bed .

Wife went out for 1 hour to p/u daughter I had a smoke in the house and he sits literally 6 feet from me . 1` hour later wife is home and he says he's sick . I ask why , was it dinner . he says no , you smoked in the trailer . My trailer that he has taken over .

I smoke bagged pipe tobacco and roll cigs in a loader machine . These are not chemical smokes from the store and they don't stink up the joint unless you have a fuck ton .


Well I lost it on his ass and told him why did you wait 1.5 hours to bitch about it ? That I've tried to accommodate him in our place and that we are in a small trailer due to the fucking brutal economy . I'm debt free btw .

He just makes a passive aggressive face and pouts while my wife scolds me .

So I tried to lay down and call it a night but I'm so pissed off . We all went to church today had a decent day other than being stuck here all day and it rained .

Last Sunday I asked him not to play depressing little house on the prairie because it's so fucking depressing and I said it makes me want to suicide . he yells out Go ahead and Do it . We were home from church less than an hour and I was doing dishes . Wife defends him again . She goes and buys head phones that go in remote . But still he sits here all fucking day . Won't / Can't do dishes or make his own food . Constantly grabs my chair when walking by and i have a bad back .

Throws his piss absorbent underwear pads in the damn bathroom trash can and it stinks to high heaven . he won't tun the air because he is to cold so when I come home from my base jobe in 90 degree heat the trailer is like 80 instead of 70 . Which then I just go lay down in my room and am forced to watch TV and then fall asleep.

My marriage is being impacted really hard right now . i'm ready to fucking split . Get my Driver ID back up and literally go to Vermont to help with the trade work there after all the flooding .

We are attempting to move into the 3 bdroom trailer that recently came up . They want 800 a month for that shit hole .

My father in law squandered all of his outlets to live and $ and used us as his last stop because he knows my wife will not refuse him . She is denying me affection and sex because fucksake she is tired and does everything for all of us and is past menopause .

Her dad is a big dirt bag and has offered to help with the bills . he generates 3g a month . I don't know if I have the fucking patients for all of this . He has changed my life course and is not my problem . He was told and almost moved here when I was riding hi on the hog and he bailed at the last minute due to back biting and negative BS with my asshole BIL .


Any one have advice . I can park him in his bedroom in the next place so we have a living room for my daughter who will be squeezed into a closet type room . This is all laughable with clown world going on . Plus he is a democrat for life . We don't talk about grown up discussions because he has a mind of a child literally . My wife's mother was his caretaker ! He just drove a bus , played all his spare $ on Lotto his entire life . My wife's life sucked as a kid because there was never any fucking money for her and clothes . I really do not like this arrangement and Am doing it because I love my wife to pieces . But I just told her , HE IS FUCKING OUR MARRIAGE UP AND WE DON'T NEED HIM FOR BILL MONEY . I will try not to be an asshole to him tomorrow but I can guarantee i will not be talking to him.

She made him apologize last Sunday and I knew is was all an act . he's a bitter old man afraid to die and taking full advantage of my wife after she begged him for years to move here and he pulled back twice after she made all the arrangements . No one talks any more in the family . The siblings all despise each other .

I disowned my Family 10 years ago . I'm also adopted and my family are demon possessed narcissists . Leaving them was liberating to say the least !

I will read the comments in the morning . At least I got to vent . My wife is literally demanding I change MY LIFE STYLE 100 % to accommodate a depraved old man who squandered a whole bunch of good stuff on a black hooker .

I have not thrown any of this shit out at him but I did say my daughter is on a couch due to him in her room pissing in her mattress !

Fucking shoot me !
 Quoting: John Q. Public 84906173



86?

lmao


Let's see how well you fare at 86. Let us know.


.
"People are stupid;they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 83962627
United States
09/19/2023 11:46 AM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
I don't really post personal stuff like this but i have no friends here and really not even another grown dude to vent with in person over this shit show .

Wife and I 28 years / 23 married /3 great kids . Sold the store and left NYS 13 years ago to escape NY . Mother in law died same year and that allowed us to LEAVE for good for Eastern NC where I had a job waiting .

I was 46 then . I am now 57 fatter and angrier like most in this nation . I work hard at a trade on the USMC base and wife is with me 24/7 . I do not drive because of a fine in NYS and frankly I could care less about driving . I still drink once or twice a week . Sometimes heavy on a Saturday while i do chores outside or have a hobby to contend with .

The wife and I don't argue and life has been quiet while our kids turned into adults here .


Thats the background .

My Father in Law squandered his Wife's Life insurance on black whores and bad financial decisions and went through
100 Grand in 10 years while living with his daughter for 6 years . The last 4 years with his son . My wife is the youngest of 4 . The other daughter , the oldest doesn't want shit to do with him . None of his grand kids call him . The Daughter he lived with is now in R-wing and has been for months in NYS . The Son had a hissy fit and threw the old man < 86> to the front steps 3 weeks ago and my wife drove up to NYS to get him and bring him here to are 2 bedroom trailer i was forced to rent after our house lease went up $1500.00 on the new lease . We had a 5 bedroom home for 5 years and the old man refused to move in with us then . had he I likely would have a house now with his help with the mortgage . because of housing insanity here in Jacksonville NC I rent 2 trailers to keep my family intact in a trailer park with 4 trailers .



He sits in my living room in a recliner all fucking day with the tv on . I got him head phones because we are not TV people .

My daughter is now displaced and is across the gravel driveway in my Sons trailer , sleeping on the couch because he now has displaced her by taking HER BEDROOM .

He is a passive aggressive man with a 6th grade education and drove a city bus for 25 years . Spent most of his extra $ on lottery tickets and supported his crack head son for 30 years and paid his rent and his own mortgage as they lived in a double up and down in Rochester NY .

The hood came into that area badly and he sold the house , the son moved out with another POS Giant crazy woman and went away . Some time around this time he meets a 30 something black hooker and she takes him for all he is worth . He buys her 2 cars in 10 years and pays the entire shot plus insurance secretly .

He gets caught eventually and plays dumb . Wifes crazy sister and him buy a home together and all is well for 6 years . Again the bl;ack girl comes back and extorts him . Old man and sister move to new house but she has a mental health breakdown and kicks him out for apparently viewing her in bathroom she says . he says he had to piss and she was in there forever . new online husband kicks the oldman out and is collecting the $ of Sister in R wing like a champ .

So now he has to go back to sons house where he was inbetween about a year prior . Son is a 30 year crack head who now drinks JD every night and heavily drinks to black outs on week ends and ignores his father 100 % . The old man now calls my wife to come and get him to live with us .


I smoke , she smokes . We now smoke outside . After 9pm he is in bed and I ventilate trailer and have maybe 2 smokes before 10 . I go to bed .

Wife went out for 1 hour to p/u daughter I had a smoke in the house and he sits literally 6 feet from me . 1` hour later wife is home and he says he's sick . I ask why , was it dinner . he says no , you smoked in the trailer . My trailer that he has taken over .

I smoke bagged pipe tobacco and roll cigs in a loader machine . These are not chemical smokes from the store and they don't stink up the joint unless you have a fuck ton .


Well I lost it on his ass and told him why did you wait 1.5 hours to bitch about it ? That I've tried to accommodate him in our place and that we are in a small trailer due to the fucking brutal economy . I'm debt free btw .

He just makes a passive aggressive face and pouts while my wife scolds me .

So I tried to lay down and call it a night but I'm so pissed off . We all went to church today had a decent day other than being stuck here all day and it rained .

Last Sunday I asked him not to play depressing little house on the prairie because it's so fucking depressing and I said it makes me want to suicide . he yells out Go ahead and Do it . We were home from church less than an hour and I was doing dishes . Wife defends him again . She goes and buys head phones that go in remote . But still he sits here all fucking day . Won't / Can't do dishes or make his own food . Constantly grabs my chair when walking by and i have a bad back .

Throws his piss absorbent underwear pads in the damn bathroom trash can and it stinks to high heaven . he won't tun the air because he is to cold so when I come home from my base jobe in 90 degree heat the trailer is like 80 instead of 70 . Which then I just go lay down in my room and am forced to watch TV and then fall asleep.

My marriage is being impacted really hard right now . i'm ready to fucking split . Get my Driver ID back up and literally go to Vermont to help with the trade work there after all the flooding .

We are attempting to move into the 3 bdroom trailer that recently came up . They want 800 a month for that shit hole .

My father in law squandered all of his outlets to live and $ and used us as his last stop because he knows my wife will not refuse him . She is denying me affection and sex because fucksake she is tired and does everything for all of us and is past menopause .

Her dad is a big dirt bag and has offered to help with the bills . he generates 3g a month . I don't know if I have the fucking patients for all of this . He has changed my life course and is not my problem . He was told and almost moved here when I was riding hi on the hog and he bailed at the last minute due to back biting and negative BS with my asshole BIL .


Any one have advice . I can park him in his bedroom in the next place so we have a living room for my daughter who will be squeezed into a closet type room . This is all laughable with clown world going on . Plus he is a democrat for life . We don't talk about grown up discussions because he has a mind of a child literally . My wife's mother was his caretaker ! He just drove a bus , played all his spare $ on Lotto his entire life . My wife's life sucked as a kid because there was never any fucking money for her and clothes . I really do not like this arrangement and Am doing it because I love my wife to pieces . But I just told her , HE IS FUCKING OUR MARRIAGE UP AND WE DON'T NEED HIM FOR BILL MONEY . I will try not to be an asshole to him tomorrow but I can guarantee i will not be talking to him.

She made him apologize last Sunday and I knew is was all an act . he's a bitter old man afraid to die and taking full advantage of my wife after she begged him for years to move here and he pulled back twice after she made all the arrangements . No one talks any more in the family . The siblings all despise each other .

I disowned my Family 10 years ago . I'm also adopted and my family are demon possessed narcissists . Leaving them was liberating to say the least !

I will read the comments in the morning . At least I got to vent . My wife is literally demanding I change MY LIFE STYLE 100 % to accommodate a depraved old man who squandered a whole bunch of good stuff on a black hooker .

I have not thrown any of this shit out at him but I did say my daughter is on a couch due to him in her room pissing in her mattress !

Fucking shoot me !
 Quoting: John Q. Public 84906173



86?

lmao


Let's see how well you fare at 86. Let us know.


.
 Quoting: Room222


But you don’t cause trouble for the ones taking care of you. This man is.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80239746
United States
09/19/2023 12:17 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Get a cheap housing unit from walmart and park him in the backyard
 Quoting: Goddess22


Man this is great idea! put him in the shed behind the house, run an extension cord to his tv!
sevenx

User ID: 83880219
United States
09/19/2023 12:35 PM

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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Medicare will pay for a facility.
Yes, he will lose most of his money; but why does he need it if they're paying for his room and board/food/medical care?

I had this happen too, my mother came to live with us but neglected to tell us she didn't have control of her bladder and stuff. She was only 60.

She went to the hospital for something and I had to refuse to let her come back so medicare would find her a assisted living care facility.

I know it sucks but she was really hard to take care of; wouldn't let the visiting nurses help her or clean her up and just sat in there stinking up the place refusing to help herself or let anyone help her. I couldn't do it anymore.

:(
“It's hard not to feel happy when you make someone smile.”
Roy T. Bennett
_______
~INFJ~
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2023 01:04 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Life is what you choose to believe it is.

I always reprogram my thoughts to handle uncomfortable living situations.

You can actually be happy in any living situation if you choose to let go of all preconceived thoughts.

It also helps to let go of all delusions, like, "life was so much better when..."

Life is only the moment you are in, and to be happy you have to be happy in every moment.
Trisherella

User ID: 86149415
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09/19/2023 01:16 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Wow, that sucks.

Kicking your daughter out so FIL can have her room and piss her bed?

Sounds like something is going to give. Probably your marriage?

Good luck to you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79422417


Why isn't HE on the couch in the other trailer?

Daughter should have her own room/bed!
Trisherella
Trisherella

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09/19/2023 01:18 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Get a cheap housing unit from walmart and park him in the backyard
 Quoting: Goddess22


Man this is great idea! put him in the shed behind the house, run an extension cord to his tv!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80239746


lol!
Trisherella
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2023 01:24 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
And we do saw the post still going

These problems cos want 825 for a 1 year or 900 for the months

My and sons lease is up on Jan 1st

I will send to it up

Then we are moving to Hershey on PA

They start over. Wife and me gut take house parent job at Milton Hershey for 200 k. A few year We’re applying the night

900 for a trailer for is never happening Fuck this town


We will all move there. Just deal with h it from r now. 70 days. Lease ends

We have options
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2023 01:26 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Fucking. Cellphone


I’ll be home soon for update. It will all work out
wkk

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09/19/2023 01:26 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
YOu know, when my dad was on in age, we found him a small family home where it was a family that took in about 4 or 5 older people. (nobodies situation was such to take him and he was in good health)

He actually met a girlfriend there and they stayed together until his death. His social security paid for it. We took turns checking/visiting him. It ended up being a pretty good solution on the whole.

Nobody wants to go to nursing homes, (or even apartment complexes for the old), but for us, a small family home was pretty comfortable for him.
wkk
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2023 01:28 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
The old man has Medicare. Life is short and he is now a useless eater. I HATE cigarette smoke but it is YOUR home. Sit down with your wife and put this old man in a retirement facility for the sake of your sanity and your quality of life. Medicare will pay for it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80736688


For maybe 60 days depending on how he entered the nursing or assisted living home.

Then you need to go belly up and pretty much spending all your savings and monthly income.

I recall he has 100k…he’ll have to spend that down. He won’t be happy but you might be.

Whatever you do at least get him out of your living space so you don’t wake up and go to bed looking at him.
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2023 01:31 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
I don't really post personal stuff like this but i have no friends here and really not even another grown dude to vent with in person over this shit show .

Wife and I 28 years / 23 married /3 great kids . Sold the store and left NYS 13 years ago to escape NY . Mother in law died same year and that allowed us to LEAVE for good for Eastern NC where I had a job waiting .

I was 46 then . I am now 57 fatter and angrier like most in this nation . I work hard at a trade on the USMC base and wife is with me 24/7 . I do not drive because of a fine in NYS and frankly I could care less about driving . I still drink once or twice a week . Sometimes heavy on a Saturday while i do chores outside or have a hobby to contend with .

The wife and I don't argue and life has been quiet while our kids turned into adults here .


Thats the background .

My Father in Law squandered his Wife's Life insurance on black whores and bad financial decisions and went through
100 Grand in 10 years while living with his daughter for 6 years . The last 4 years with his son . My wife is the youngest of 4 . The other daughter , the oldest doesn't want shit to do with him . None of his grand kids call him . The Daughter he lived with is now in R-wing and has been for months in NYS . The Son had a hissy fit and threw the old man < 86> to the front steps 3 weeks ago and my wife drove up to NYS to get him and bring him here to are 2 bedroom trailer i was forced to rent after our house lease went up $1500.00 on the new lease . We had a 5 bedroom home for 5 years and the old man refused to move in with us then . had he I likely would have a house now with his help with the mortgage . because of housing insanity here in Jacksonville NC I rent 2 trailers to keep my family intact in a trailer park with 4 trailers .



He sits in my living room in a recliner all fucking day with the tv on . I got him head phones because we are not TV people .

My daughter is now displaced and is across the gravel driveway in my Sons trailer , sleeping on the couch because he now has displaced her by taking HER BEDROOM .

He is a passive aggressive man with a 6th grade education and drove a city bus for 25 years . Spent most of his extra $ on lottery tickets and supported his crack head son for 30 years and paid his rent and his own mortgage as they lived in a double up and down in Rochester NY .

The hood came into that area badly and he sold the house , the son moved out with another POS Giant crazy woman and went away . Some time around this time he meets a 30 something black hooker and she takes him for all he is worth . He buys her 2 cars in 10 years and pays the entire shot plus insurance secretly .

He gets caught eventually and plays dumb . Wifes crazy sister and him buy a home together and all is well for 6 years . Again the bl;ack girl comes back and extorts him . Old man and sister move to new house but she has a mental health breakdown and kicks him out for apparently viewing her in bathroom she says . he says he had to piss and she was in there forever . new online husband kicks the oldman out and is collecting the $ of Sister in R wing like a champ .

So now he has to go back to sons house where he was inbetween about a year prior . Son is a 30 year crack head who now drinks JD every night and heavily drinks to black outs on week ends and ignores his father 100 % . The old man now calls my wife to come and get him to live with us .


I smoke , she smokes . We now smoke outside . After 9pm he is in bed and I ventilate trailer and have maybe 2 smokes before 10 . I go to bed .

Wife went out for 1 hour to p/u daughter I had a smoke in the house and he sits literally 6 feet from me . 1` hour later wife is home and he says he's sick . I ask why , was it dinner . he says no , you smoked in the trailer . My trailer that he has taken over .

I smoke bagged pipe tobacco and roll cigs in a loader machine . These are not chemical smokes from the store and they don't stink up the joint unless you have a fuck ton .


Well I lost it on his ass and told him why did you wait 1.5 hours to bitch about it ? That I've tried to accommodate him in our place and that we are in a small trailer due to the fucking brutal economy . I'm debt free btw .

He just makes a passive aggressive face and pouts while my wife scolds me .

So I tried to lay down and call it a night but I'm so pissed off . We all went to church today had a decent day other than being stuck here all day and it rained .

Last Sunday I asked him not to play depressing little house on the prairie because it's so fucking depressing and I said it makes me want to suicide . he yells out Go ahead and Do it . We were home from church less than an hour and I was doing dishes . Wife defends him again . She goes and buys head phones that go in remote . But still he sits here all fucking day . Won't / Can't do dishes or make his own food . Constantly grabs my chair when walking by and i have a bad back .

Throws his piss absorbent underwear pads in the damn bathroom trash can and it stinks to high heaven . he won't tun the air because he is to cold so when I come home from my base jobe in 90 degree heat the trailer is like 80 instead of 70 . Which then I just go lay down in my room and am forced to watch TV and then fall asleep.

My marriage is being impacted really hard right now . i'm ready to fucking split . Get my Driver ID back up and literally go to Vermont to help with the trade work there after all the flooding .

We are attempting to move into the 3 bdroom trailer that recently came up . They want 800 a month for that shit hole .

My father in law squandered all of his outlets to live and $ and used us as his last stop because he knows my wife will not refuse him . She is denying me affection and sex because fucksake she is tired and does everything for all of us and is past menopause .

Her dad is a big dirt bag and has offered to help with the bills . he generates 3g a month . I don't know if I have the fucking patients for all of this . He has changed my life course and is not my problem . He was told and almost moved here when I was riding hi on the hog and he bailed at the last minute due to back biting and negative BS with my asshole BIL .


Any one have advice . I can park him in his bedroom in the next place so we have a living room for my daughter who will be squeezed into a closet type room . This is all laughable with clown world going on . Plus he is a democrat for life . We don't talk about grown up discussions because he has a mind of a child literally . My wife's mother was his caretaker ! He just drove a bus , played all his spare $ on Lotto his entire life . My wife's life sucked as a kid because there was never any fucking money for her and clothes . I really do not like this arrangement and Am doing it because I love my wife to pieces . But I just told her , HE IS FUCKING OUR MARRIAGE UP AND WE DON'T NEED HIM FOR BILL MONEY . I will try not to be an asshole to him tomorrow but I can guarantee i will not be talking to him.

She made him apologize last Sunday and I knew is was all an act . he's a bitter old man afraid to die and taking full advantage of my wife after she begged him for years to move here and he pulled back twice after she made all the arrangements . No one talks any more in the family . The siblings all despise each other .

I disowned my Family 10 years ago . I'm also adopted and my family are demon possessed narcissists . Leaving them was liberating to say the least !

I will read the comments in the morning . At least I got to vent . My wife is literally demanding I change MY LIFE STYLE 100 % to accommodate a depraved old man who squandered a whole bunch of good stuff on a black hooker .

I have not thrown any of this shit out at him but I did say my daughter is on a couch due to him in her room pissing in her mattress !

Fucking shoot me !
 Quoting: John Q. Public 84906173



86?

lmao


Let's see how well you fare at 86. Let us know.


.
 Quoting: Room222

No free lunches while you’re here still and eating lunch.

86 or 98.
Trisherella

User ID: 86149415
United States
09/19/2023 01:54 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
The old man has Medicare. Life is short and he is now a useless eater. I HATE cigarette smoke but it is YOUR home. Sit down with your wife and put this old man in a retirement facility for the sake of your sanity and your quality of life. Medicare will pay for it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80736688


For maybe 60 days depending on how he entered the nursing or assisted living home.

Then you need to go belly up and pretty much spending all your savings and monthly income.

I recall he has 100k…he’ll have to spend that down. He won’t be happy but you might be.

Whatever you do at least get him out of your living space so you don’t wake up and go to bed looking at him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86316418


No he already spent all that on the hooker plus Lotto tickets. He doesn't have any savings to 'spend down.'
Trisherella
nutmeg

User ID: 86278362
United States
09/19/2023 03:57 PM

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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
I don't really post personal stuff like this but i have no friends here and really not even another grown dude to vent with in person over this shit show .

Wife and I 28 years / 23 married /3 great kids . Sold the store and left NYS 13 years ago to escape NY . Mother in law died same year and that allowed us to LEAVE for good for Eastern NC where I had a job waiting .

I was 46 then . I am now 57 fatter and angrier like most in this nation . I work hard at a trade on the USMC base and wife is with me 24/7 . I do not drive because of a fine in NYS and frankly I could care less about driving . I still drink once or twice a week . Sometimes heavy on a Saturday while i do chores outside or have a hobby to contend with .

The wife and I don't argue and life has been quiet while our kids turned into adults here .


Thats the background .

My Father in Law squandered his Wife's Life insurance on black whores and bad financial decisions and went through
100 Grand in 10 years while living with his daughter for 6 years . The last 4 years with his son . My wife is the youngest of 4 . The other daughter , the oldest doesn't want shit to do with him . None of his grand kids call him . The Daughter he lived with is now in R-wing and has been for months in NYS . The Son had a hissy fit and threw the old man < 86> to the front steps 3 weeks ago and my wife drove up to NYS to get him and bring him here to are 2 bedroom trailer i was forced to rent after our house lease went up $1500.00 on the new lease . We had a 5 bedroom home for 5 years and the old man refused to move in with us then . had he I likely would have a house now with his help with the mortgage . because of housing insanity here in Jacksonville NC I rent 2 trailers to keep my family intact in a trailer park with 4 trailers .



He sits in my living room in a recliner all fucking day with the tv on . I got him head phones because we are not TV people .

My daughter is now displaced and is across the gravel driveway in my Sons trailer , sleeping on the couch because he now has displaced her by taking HER BEDROOM .

He is a passive aggressive man with a 6th grade education and drove a city bus for 25 years . Spent most of his extra $ on lottery tickets and supported his crack head son for 30 years and paid his rent and his own mortgage as they lived in a double up and down in Rochester NY .

The hood came into that area badly and he sold the house , the son moved out with another POS Giant crazy woman and went away . Some time around this time he meets a 30 something black hooker and she takes him for all he is worth . He buys her 2 cars in 10 years and pays the entire shot plus insurance secretly .

He gets caught eventually and plays dumb . Wifes crazy sister and him buy a home together and all is well for 6 years . Again the bl;ack girl comes back and extorts him . Old man and sister move to new house but she has a mental health breakdown and kicks him out for apparently viewing her in bathroom she says . he says he had to piss and she was in there forever . new online husband kicks the oldman out and is collecting the $ of Sister in R wing like a champ .

So now he has to go back to sons house where he was inbetween about a year prior . Son is a 30 year crack head who now drinks JD every night and heavily drinks to black outs on week ends and ignores his father 100 % . The old man now calls my wife to come and get him to live with us .


I smoke , she smokes . We now smoke outside . After 9pm he is in bed and I ventilate trailer and have maybe 2 smokes before 10 . I go to bed .

Wife went out for 1 hour to p/u daughter I had a smoke in the house and he sits literally 6 feet from me . 1` hour later wife is home and he says he's sick . I ask why , was it dinner . he says no , you smoked in the trailer . My trailer that he has taken over .

I smoke bagged pipe tobacco and roll cigs in a loader machine . These are not chemical smokes from the store and they don't stink up the joint unless you have a fuck ton .


Well I lost it on his ass and told him why did you wait 1.5 hours to bitch about it ? That I've tried to accommodate him in our place and that we are in a small trailer due to the fucking brutal economy . I'm debt free btw .

He just makes a passive aggressive face and pouts while my wife scolds me .

So I tried to lay down and call it a night but I'm so pissed off . We all went to church today had a decent day other than being stuck here all day and it rained .

Last Sunday I asked him not to play depressing little house on the prairie because it's so fucking depressing and I said it makes me want to suicide . he yells out Go ahead and Do it . We were home from church less than an hour and I was doing dishes . Wife defends him again . She goes and buys head phones that go in remote . But still he sits here all fucking day . Won't / Can't do dishes or make his own food . Constantly grabs my chair when walking by and i have a bad back .

Throws his piss absorbent underwear pads in the damn bathroom trash can and it stinks to high heaven . he won't tun the air because he is to cold so when I come home from my base jobe in 90 degree heat the trailer is like 80 instead of 70 . Which then I just go lay down in my room and am forced to watch TV and then fall asleep.

My marriage is being impacted really hard right now . i'm ready to fucking split . Get my Driver ID back up and literally go to Vermont to help with the trade work there after all the flooding .

We are attempting to move into the 3 bdroom trailer that recently came up . They want 800 a month for that shit hole .

My father in law squandered all of his outlets to live and $ and used us as his last stop because he knows my wife will not refuse him . She is denying me affection and sex because fucksake she is tired and does everything for all of us and is past menopause .

Her dad is a big dirt bag and has offered to help with the bills . he generates 3g a month . I don't know if I have the fucking patients for all of this . He has changed my life course and is not my problem . He was told and almost moved here when I was riding hi on the hog and he bailed at the last minute due to back biting and negative BS with my asshole BIL .


Any one have advice . I can park him in his bedroom in the next place so we have a living room for my daughter who will be squeezed into a closet type room . This is all laughable with clown world going on . Plus he is a democrat for life . We don't talk about grown up discussions because he has a mind of a child literally . My wife's mother was his caretaker ! He just drove a bus , played all his spare $ on Lotto his entire life . My wife's life sucked as a kid because there was never any fucking money for her and clothes . I really do not like this arrangement and Am doing it because I love my wife to pieces . But I just told her , HE IS FUCKING OUR MARRIAGE UP AND WE DON'T NEED HIM FOR BILL MONEY . I will try not to be an asshole to him tomorrow but I can guarantee i will not be talking to him.

She made him apologize last Sunday and I knew is was all an act . he's a bitter old man afraid to die and taking full advantage of my wife after she begged him for years to move here and he pulled back twice after she made all the arrangements . No one talks any more in the family . The siblings all despise each other .

I disowned my Family 10 years ago . I'm also adopted and my family are demon possessed narcissists . Leaving them was liberating to say the least !

I will read the comments in the morning . At least I got to vent . My wife is literally demanding I change MY LIFE STYLE 100 % to accommodate a depraved old man who squandered a whole bunch of good stuff on a black hooker .

I have not thrown any of this shit out at him but I did say my daughter is on a couch due to him in her room pissing in her mattress !

Fucking shoot me !
 Quoting: John Q. Public 84906173



86?

lmao


Let's see how well you fare at 86. Let us know.


.
 Quoting: Room222


But you don’t cause trouble for the ones taking care of you. This man is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 83962627


I think OP said he's paying them $3,000 a month to sit and watch TV...with headphones on. If he's eating, his daughter is cooking.

Last Edited by nutmeg on 09/19/2023 04:00 PM
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 84906173
09/19/2023 04:53 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
We are going to ride the lease out and bolt to Hershey PA . The END 70 days to go of this shit .
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76538212
United States
09/19/2023 05:13 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
As the youngest daughter with 2 worthless older sisters.
It fell to me to care for our parents. My other 2 sisters moved out of state.

They only cared about their own lives.

My mom passed in the late 70s and dad wound up having a stroke that semi-paralyzed him.
He started getting his bill paying all messed up. Sending wrong amounts to various companies.

My career was in managing apartments, my husband worked for our small city.

Dad kept asking us to move in with him, so I stopped my career and we moved into his home.

He needed 24/7 caregiving, food cooked 3x times a day, bathed, absolutely everything.

My husband was a complete doll! Since I'm 5'4 and dad was almost 8 ft tall and big, if he fell or rolled out of bed, I would have to call my husband to help lift him.
Husband would drive over to the house any time I needed him and would help me get dad back up, then go back to his job.

My husband took care of bathing Dad too since dad was a bit too shy around me.
Husband also did all the lawn care, car repair, drives to doctors appointments and the grocery shopping.

I had to stay with Dad 24/7,seriously. I never went anywhere. Dad could no longer talk, he was non-verbal.

We wound up taking such good care of dad that he lost the weight his doctor was wanting him too loose and even with the stroke damage, you could see his health was improving.

He wound up living another 20 years!!!!!!!!!!
Yep...24/7 care for 20 years!!!!!
and...20 years of my sweet husband carrying 90 percent of the load, work and inconveniences...and showers.

I could not love my husband more.

Now dad is gone too. I have my freedom but we both still miss him. My husband also loved my mom.

Good men are so hard to find!

A true marriage is 2 people that stand back to back and go through the daily shit show life can dish out supporting each other and putting others before themselves.

OP, At 89 your Dad-in-law won't live much longer, take away the cigarettes (I did with my dad / fire hazard), grow a pair and deal with it and support your wife.
Life isn't about just you and your feelings.

How would you treat your daughter or wife if they became completely disabled tomorrow?

My husband is worth 1000 of you.
Once when I was first married I had both arms broken in a car wreck, in casts for 7 weeks! My husband had to do everything for me, cook, clean, laundry and even change my friggen tampons! (so embarrassing) but he's a great man!

You will never be thought of as a "great man" but you could change that if you wanted to start now.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 85952774
United States
09/19/2023 05:19 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Nursing home. He sounds like he is lonely and bored and needs other old people around. And you are not that old. That shit could go on for years.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 83863029


He is still doing puzzle books ALLDAY with the TV on ALL Day all night . He crashes at 9pm .

I have nothing in common with this man and he was a total BETA his entire life . He literally is a NPC .

Wife's Mom died of a urinary tract infection because he didn't smell the seeping urine in the house and get her to the hosp. 3 miles away . She was diagnosed with dementia .

Short term mem loss . I think he let her f\go septic . I always said that . He's a NPC always thinking .


He went through his other kids and was a dick . Now I have to take his ass ? Fuck that ! It's only been WEEK # 3 !
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 84906173


Does this imply you consider NPCs to be people that are always thinking? I've considered this, the average npc just has scripts going off nonstop in their head. I don't know that, I want to hear your thoughts on that.
Sister of THE Revolution

User ID: 85649686
United States
09/19/2023 06:36 PM

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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Bump to follow
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79368329
United States
09/19/2023 06:47 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Have you tried selling him to a dog food company ?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86113566
Belgium
09/19/2023 09:00 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
I don't really post personal stuff like this but i have no friends here and really not even another grown dude to vent with in person over this shit show .

Wife and I 28 years / 23 married /3 great kids . Sold the store and left NYS 13 years ago to escape NY . Mother in law died same year and that allowed us to LEAVE for good for Eastern NC where I had a job waiting .

I was 46 then . I am now 57 fatter and angrier like most in this nation . I work hard at a trade on the USMC base and wife is with me 24/7 . I do not drive because of a fine in NYS and frankly I could care less about driving . I still drink once or twice a week . Sometimes heavy on a Saturday while i do chores outside or have a hobby to contend with .
snip
 Quoting: John Q. Public 84906173

What does it mean when an American says "I drink once a week"?

Does it mean you drink yourself into a stupor once a week as a habit? Like it's some sort of system, just part of the system?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86113566
Belgium
09/19/2023 09:11 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Where is the black hooker he was supporting? Why can’t he live with her?

Tell her he’s almost 90 and can’t get it up anymore. All she has to do is cuddle with him once in awhile for 3K/mo.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76367190


Hey he lives in a military town…black hookers, tattoos, and bars are on every corner and are a dime a dozen for the ones insane enough to “trick” an old man.

The good look’in “escorts” would take his SSI for one visit where she (or heShe) flashes the headlights on the way out the door with $$$ in one hand and dic in the other.

Better option is Medicare Home Health.
It will probably pay for a curvey catholic border hopper who will visit him everyday like an angel…doing his dishes, laundry, feeding him, administering his meds, accompanying him on his walks, applying lotion there too (doctor’s orders) all with a smile. Combined with the Senior Center’s Measles On Wheezles he shouldn’t worry about going hungry, being lonely, being neglected (that way too).

Op’s family should charge him 90% for the rent etc leaving FIL 10% to spend on bingo & booze down by the beach, or a weekly coffee at, uh, let’s say Hardee’s …and he should treat the whole family to all of that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85823012

rofl
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78526472
Australia
09/19/2023 10:44 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
If he lives with us he will get the larger bedroom and my daughter will be squeezed into a closet . he is fine with that .



My daughter displaced stresses me out as well . She deserves her own bed room that is not a closet . She is 14 and a smart beauty !

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 84906173


Well there's your answer.
Tell your wife that you and her are taking the "closet" even if its double bunks if its so small, and your daughter gets your room.

"We have to put the kids first" - is what you tell your wife.

You'd only have to live in the "closet" for a week tops before your wife will be making alternative arrangements for her father...YOU wont have to do anything.
Ghosthuntermaria

User ID: 79245130
United States
09/19/2023 11:02 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
It sounds like the old man needs to be in the R wing himself. I worked in the R Wing at Strong for years in ROC and people were admitted for way less than the behavior he's exhibiting. He is manipulating you and your family to insanity. He isn't right in the head. He's narcissistic and has no sense of guilt or remorse. For God's sake he told you to off yourself!!
I know what your up against but I'd give him an ultimatum. Either get a place of his own or he will be admitted to the R wing because he has a personality disorder.
He has systemically destroyed people's lives and needs to take some accountability.
There's always a bit of truth in everything no matter how crazy it seems.
pool
I will find you in the bluer

User ID: 86029422
United States
09/20/2023 10:02 AM

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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
We are going to ride the lease out and bolt to Hershey PA . The END 70 days to go of this shit .
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 84906173


Suck it up buttercup. And, don't forget to vape heavy at the funeral. They're all gonna sigh.
Don't pollute yourself with 'diet'.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 83962627
United States
09/20/2023 04:28 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
Fucking. Cellphone


I’ll be home soon for update. It will all work out
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80181317


Yes it will. Sometimes it is good to just vent.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 83962627
United States
09/20/2023 04:30 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
The old man has Medicare. Life is short and he is now a useless eater. I HATE cigarette smoke but it is YOUR home. Sit down with your wife and put this old man in a retirement facility for the sake of your sanity and your quality of life. Medicare will pay for it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80736688


For maybe 60 days depending on how he entered the nursing or assisted living home.

Then you need to go belly up and pretty much spending all your savings and monthly income.

I recall he has 100k…he’ll have to spend that down. He won’t be happy but you might be.

Whatever you do at least get him out of your living space so you don’t wake up and go to bed looking at him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86316418


No he already spent all that on the hooker plus Lotto tickets. He doesn't have any savings to 'spend down.'
 Quoting: Trisherella


When you get to where you are going look into the nursing homes just in case. Get your ducks in a row.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 83962627
United States
09/20/2023 04:30 PM
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Re: Wife's Father suddenly living with us until his death . I'm Losing it !
We are going to ride the lease out and bolt to Hershey PA . The END 70 days to go of this shit .
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 84906173


It will go fast.





GLP