I know stuff AMA

Dear Seer/sir

I found some creame up the side road some at nellies uncles old house where sherri lives now, has creame,

im going to throw a pot on chief.

byron bay, they almost ate me alive...

What's it like in your own mind when you concentrate piercing focused intent?

What's it like when you balance that with laser focused attention?

Hungry people be eating.

If I do what you suggest, fear creeps in. Power is scary at cosmic levels.

It is possible to scare yourself. Then you have to live with that.

There was a lust for steak that eclipsed the buffet at bonanza

Not bad folk, very nice folk who knew exactly what they wanted.

I was playing pool almost every night. We'd eat at the tree hopuse bar and grill and then walk down to main street.

there was this really nice girl. She was just great.

I liked her a lot. And a few days before I was leaving to go up north more, burliegh heads... I asked her, do you want me to sat with you longer?

She lost her nerve I guess. Sat morn came and I left.

almost 2 days later and im almost in the heads, and the phone starts going fucking nuts.

come back, im sorry, I want you to say here and never leave.

I guess she took it hard as on day 4 she was calling me a canucky cnt.

too many miles under my wheels to be too silly anbout shit

and I have zero patience...lol

anyhow chief.

im coming back and this time im getting a land rover....fuck it

what? did you think Id abandon her?

the story just don't end there though...cape york


the sign said "danger, turn around" the road got kinda sketchy... kinda like whistler by the bike runs in the rain. Bt 47c. The temp gauge kept to its 220 or so. I thought it was kinda hot, i was black.

I had no wrench for the recessed water pump bolt. I was in cooktown or close i needed a miracle. On day 45 she reached out some more. called left messages. she was upset, super sad, i was sad too.

so I called her, and we had that talk we should have had earlier. you know the one where were on our elbows and holding hands and talking? being honest and strightforwards.

she made me laugh. I made he scream, we both cried some.

and then my miracle happened, one of those long tandem trucks swept in with big dusty winds. It said "The Magician" on the front wind screen, he had the wrenches I needed. He gave them to me.

I replaced the water pump 3 times on my way back to Byron Bay.

I made it back into her warm and comporting grasp with a zeal that really was special.

I stayed on with her in Byron Bay for another 11 months....till I sadly HAD to go home to Canada to bury a lost Grand Dad.

We hear from one another every now and again... if the wind from the Australian shelf is blowing just the right way.

she taught me how to sail a sailboat. I'll have the skill she shown me all my life.

Anna Marie, if you are listening on some off frequency somewhere, know how much the world loves you.

So you're mad now.


I'm pissed off as well, what the fuck can I do about it?


I cant even get a direct question answered.


i cant flounder in perpetuity like that for months on end, how long am I expected to tread water in a rip current?

I'm hoping you understand.



Your the seer... can you help me fix it?

Chapter one - Pls take your seat.

It's like the girl who went to the Barret Jackson Car auction.

she knew exactly what she wanted before she took a number and sat down.

Sure she looked through the "catalog"

And when she did? low and behold there was HER CAR!!!!!

Exact model, all the options and in her favorite colour.


OMG she said in a rushed voice, look at this she said to her friends.


She mills around the pavilion, looking here, tasting there, getting a feel for the crowd she is in direct competition with.

There is a dark haired beauty also planning on doing some bidding. Deep pockets and also knows what she wants.

Theres the blonde from Toronto there as well, not to bright, probably not even a remote threat, but her Uncle is there with her and will "help" her bid things out.

Chapter two - Wasted on you.


She is not new to these types of events. She purchased in the past, but she got burnt.

Looked good in the book, had some history, some documentation and she thought overall it was enough to pacify her. Things are getting tight in the supply of these good old models. She thought she best gobble it up before its all gone.

Wasn't too long before things started falling apart on her, and no matter what she did that hunk of junk was always in the shop with some form of problem or another.

Of course, it was always her fault. No matter what happened she would always have to take the heat, pay the bill.

You'd drive by and see her fighting with her CAR and it was so sad, I often wondered WTF is she doing?

Sadly, for her and the mechanic, she had to let that junk go, get rid of it before it killed her.

She called AMA and said to the operator "come get this fucking thing out of here before I light it with a match. She threw the cover on it and walked away. And that god she did.




But her love for the CAR and the beliefs that not all car sales will be a disaster keeps her head in the game.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained right?

Now she is in the game again, fresh stock and a glint in her eye.

Chapter three - The Carnival.


Wow what a place. Fancy lights and graphics, good music and when the server asked her "can I grab you a drink ma/am?"

The waiters face didn't even flinch, no raised eyebrows when she said "Triple B&B please"

This is her day, she earnt her place here, a little B&B will help lubricate and plate her brain for the coming shit storm of competition she will face.

When the waiter came back and gave her the drink, the air filled with a fragrant mix of herbs, cognac, spices and excitement. Even the folks sitting around could smell it, and asked wtf is that? pretty soon everyone had a B&B lubricating the brain. They looked at her and thought WTF? amazing.

Of course in 1/2 hour people were hot under the eyes, a little glassyed faced, or eyes almost closed and fluttering. The Blonde from Torontos Uncle got a bit giddy and we thought he may fall off his chair, but the old boy hung on, after all he was there to help his niece.

They start that fucking music, it melodic and thumping and pretty soon its inside your whole body, it was amazing, the sound system was off the charts and comprised of the following:

There was 2 Krell FPB 700cx AMPs on the floor on stands.
There was no pre amp, they were streaming Tidal off of a MyTec Brooklyn DAC and everything was piped with Synergistic Research.

It started slow and quiet, but within a few mins was putting 1000 watts and about 100 amps of current through your hair, she thought her ear rings were moving when Merchant started pounding those drums...

The shows about to begin, the B7B has plated her brain not unlike LM MoS2 coats bearings and tensioner guides...

she better just sip a bit.

Chapter four - Harden the Fuck UP - The blow out.

You know it was just a matter of time before there was a blow out. I could feel it brewing after the B%B rounds were ordered. I could actually see the shoulders on the brunette start to slump, and her eyes got weird, kinda edgy.

The staff might of felt the friction as well, as the head of security, this beautiful red headed lady started moving closer to the epicenter of the vibes.


The red head from security seen these things play out 1000 times over the years, she must of been tipped off that many bidders were after the same CAR.

The same fast car.

How emotional can you get? I guess that is the question that needs to be answered when the bidding starts. here was a marine Vet there, covered in tats wearing a VLTOR t-shirt and a 5.11 tactical ball cap with no patch.

He reminded me of the dead beat try hard who sits in Taco Del Mar all night with his gay friends pretending they are all hard. I know a 16 yr old kid who could come in and with a burrito in one hand, give you all fat lips, and tear the knees from your new pants from Walmart.

There is a 10k deposit for the seat and the bidding card. It needs to be paid in advance and it says in the fine print.

FAFO - Fuck around in here and you will be escorted out the door and you will forfeit the 10k retainer.

This is usually enough to keep folks in check, making the Red Heads job easier (its never really easy). Well they all started bickering about the same CAR.

Wasn't 10 mins and that Red head had everyone separated, moved to new seats, had the floor cleaned up where the old guy dropped his B&B when he got excited/scared.

The Marine screamed "NO FUCKING SELFIES" and pretty soon that quiet guy from Canada was flashing the flash directly into his face from 3 feet out, over and over and over again. With impunity. That Canadian simp was some fucking whirey. He was eating one of those double burgers that slop everywhere, you could tell his other free hand was looking for a dude to choke out. I moved 4 seats back so he didnt think I was fucking around. The red head whispered... he is not nuts he is Canadian.

I thought the Marine would start crying, what a pussy I thought to myself.

I wanted that 1965 Chevrolet 1/2 so bad so I just shut my mouth... for some reason I'm always the first to be skidded out the door.

[link to www.motortrend.com (secure)]


the show has not even began and we all need to Harden The Fuck up already?

Chapter five - We went out to sea...




Things got quiet upstairs in my brain. The red head security lady was keeping an eye on everything and I felt comfortable enough to drift out to sea a bit.

The last 10 years flashed in my brain like a slide show. I actually dozed out a bit and had a day dream I was being buried in an avalanche in Golden.

my friend Darren is always in the back of my mind. And when I get lucid and calm, he floods my thoughts.

He was the best boy. He was so good to everyone. It was hot one summer, really hot like a heat wave. He loaded his little car with water cases a cooler and ice and he went down to skid Row in Edmonton. He handed out waters to folks all day.

I never told him the truth about woman, and as a result God took him away to a job that was more important than us.

It's still the only thing that makes me cry. And I'm angry about it, really super angry. I hope I never find someone to blame.

BOOM

holy fuck I almost dropped my water.

I snapped out of my daydream just in time... the show was about to begin and they cued up the opening song...

they always bring the cars from "Down South" out fist, rust free lovelies from where it's hot and seldom rains.

you know things are about to get going when the dudes in the red jump suits come out to move things "along"

Thread: IS GEORGE BUSH AT THE CENTER OF THE GREATEST AND MOST SECRET PLOT EVER LAUNCHED AGAINST MANKIND?

Chapter six - Bid Card 93oh8

A Vahxhal, a Cortina, a nice little Ford with the Cosworth motor. A 71 split number, a little VW beetle with the oval rear window.


Remember that woman from Chapter one? the one who keep buying crap?

well low and behold she was tying to bid n the same shit that put her in dutch to begin with.

A 77 Corvette... up goes her hand

A 87 Buick Regal T-Type... up goes her hand

A 1969 Dodge Charger 383... yep up goes her hand.

At this point in time I was a bit confused at what the hell she was there for?

So I ask her... what do you have your eye on? she opens the book to page 114 and points to the car she just "has to have"

I almost choked on my choof... what she had picked out was truly something to behold and kinda threw me off balance a tad.

Her choice?
2015 Mercedes Benz C63 AMG in designo Diamond White.
The stock 4.0L mill pumps out a healthy 503 HP, but this one has the full twin turbo upgrades from weistec engineering.
Full 304 SS exhaust with mid pipes and deleted secondaries.
Looks to be a whole bevy of go fast chassis parts to keep it from flexing.

905 HP and 822 Twq

Has she ever driven a car with a progressive throttle?

wut? wuts that...>?

How do I explain this to her? so she understands before the purchase? This is not normal driving, or a normal car. It can over time make you not normal. I urged caution.

But it was clear this is what she wanted. So I asked if I could "guide" her as I been doing this stuff for years and years. She eagerly agreed to take my advice under consideration. I look at my Omega, and it's 10:30 am. Her car dont roll out till 14:00. I suggested we flock off down to Joolios and have some lunch. Of course her friend can join.

I felt a bit glib
ordered a chicken mcrib

got some in my stash
was she looking at my ass?

It made me chuckle
I had no idea her last cars almost made her buckle.


She asked me some questions like...who are you?. She asked so directly it made me sit up in my chair all square.

I said I'm Cole, and explained a few more things she asked.

I answered everything she asked, I'm not a good hider.

She jumps up and slides in next to me in the booth, and before I know it she has her arm around my neck, and she is teasing the bottom of my hair (mullet>?) I thought OK, the B&B is working its "majic" lol

I say OK, we better get back and get seated, I am going to just sit bihind you 5 rows, you have this and Im not going to interfere with your bidding.

This is your show now.

She looks at me with her sad but very blue eyes and says to me...

How much? how much do you think I will have to pay?

I said expect 80k usd. It may go for more as it is a Canadian Model with only 17,000 kms (11,000miles)

I looked at it (Lot 4493a) and it was mint. not rock chips original MB windscreen. All books, all stamps, and the original owner changed the oil every 1500kms (950 miles)
CarFax looked good. I dont think a bird ever shit on it even.

so we go back, and sit down, and I'm not really paying attention (nosey boi sigh seeing), 3 cars before hers...

SHE IS FUCKING GONE

WTF IS SHE DOING? kind of a poor time to have to piss. She is gone and so is her friend.


She may miss out on this if she dont pay attention a bit.

wtf is she on drugs?

LEFT ON HER SEAT IS BID CARD 93oh8

[youtube] [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]


maybe she went "dancing"

Wow Chow.
I would have just said 'look I'm Chow, king of the main' or something like that then proceeded to deply the hugglebot.

Hugglebot deployed.
Docking
Clamping

At this point Chow, you should be heart to heart cuddling for 30 seconds.


Works for me.

Can you imagine going to a website that controls free speech, manipulates thought?

Can you imagine paying for that?

Imagine if the internet of algorithms was just that.

Chapter seven - Wow Chow


I stand up like a statue... I look left? I look right?

this is the CAR of her life. This is it, everything she has ever waited for is here and about to roll on stage.


I thought I heard my name? I look I dont see anything...

Wow Chow... I hear it again. I look directly behind me, it's the brunettes uncle. He is kinda cock eyed from the B&B and he says slowly with garlic breath...

wow chow you done fucked up...

I said excuse me?

He says it again.

I spin in my chair, he is an old man ffs, but I need to know what he means by this. Does he know something I don't?

I say "Larry" where did this bidder go, pointing at the empty seat and the bidding card.

he says inna cool and calm way.....

They are out in the parking lot taking selfies in my nieces car...

I sAY WHAT? they are outside taking pictures? of themselves?

He looks kinda coy and says "yeah".

Are you kidding me I say? He says sadly no.

Im shocked, Im stunned. Her is this ladies CAR, something she has wanted and has searched for and here it is and now it is here, she went to do other things>?

I cant even process this in my tiny brian.


Oh great... heres her car now AND THE BRUNETTE IS STANDING AT THE STAGE WITH HER own bidding card.

car rolls up, they announce it, they go over everything it has (took 10 mins) and they start the bidding at 5k usd

no one is paying any attention. Heres a 120k car with a starting bid of 5k and no one is home but a few squareheads and this brunette.

5k, 8, 12, 16, 17.5....going going

SOLD TO THE LITTLE LADY AT THE STAGE.


it felt like my tongue was going to slide down my throat, and that I may upchuck my mcrib.

im in a bit of a stooper. all of a sudden I feel tired.

then from behind me someone screams....

CHOW YU BASTARD!!!


It's her, standing there with her iphone in her hand, purse over her shoulder, angry look on her face.

i thought she maybe had a serious problem and went to her...

she was crying.

I answered all her questions, and she answered none of mine. And now I feel a bit of guilt because she is hurt.

i need you all to know 100% she is innocent. This shit just happens to her.

what now?

what now dear seer of GLP?

you know its bad when even the glp seer is at a loss for words.


Chapter eight - no ginchies, no touque.


I got the E39 540i "Estate Wagon" I went for.


The BATT was toast and thank god I was rigged to suck it on.


I had a strap made at Nisku Rigging and a plate that a 10,000lbs winch attaches to. The HD strap (6feet) attaches to the plate that the winch is attached to.

when I need to suck something on, I just throw the strap around the 5th wheel hitch and lead the line out and start sucking it on.

everything obviously gets tight..... no no no dont try kissing the line. Keep back or you'll lose a finger.

I hear this whack whack WOOOMP

whack whack WOOMPP


Holy mother of god, its that woman from the auction who ran away. She just piled into the fucking 2 foot curb at like 40 and the pass fromt wheel is doing.

whack whack WOOOMPP

and here she comes... I jump up and into the box of my truck like Useen Bolt at a track N field event.

she creams, she squeels, shits flying. I even dropped my RayBans.


she's screaming at me, in toungues.

her eyes get big and she says....


"WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS COLE THE ASSHOLE!!!"



I quietly and calmly said...


I dont want no touque and I dont want no ginchies...

You are a gifted writer. Do you write poetry? I imagine you have a job which requires writing of some sort. Thanks for sharing your talent. You should start your own thread of your gift.

INterlude: everyone heard.


from coast to coast... every tard, spaz, incel and libtard heard this malarky.


you are ahead by a century... yeah right.


is this a joke?


a lot of folks were crying as well.

Hey thank you, i cant spell my own name though. On pen and paper I need help from family. I see something red and the system tries and help me fix it up some. I need help building a grocery list so I dont come home empty handed.


im a dumb farmer. i just sign my name on cheques.


i dont want to create many threDS as i have not paid anything here. im just trying to hold on for a while longer. i did one already and dont want to push my luck, these folks are patiennt, but also have limits.


thats y im in the seers thread, hiding and venting.


i threw in the smooth jazz and thinking about having a boomba.

xx

Sometimes Chow you have to be a bigger man and just agree.
You don't need the truth, you just need to understand it.

I swallow my pride like a big bowl of chowder.
Metaphorically speaking.
The actual bowl I would have would be Laksa.

Jimmy (cause I need a name for you)

Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy.


Oh Jimmy.


I totally agree. I totally understand. I'm in agreement with it even.

But I'm pissed. Not so much for me, but for her. You can just see how worthy she is.

Laksa? now my guts are growling.


Thanks Jimmy.


seriously. thank you Jimmy.

Chapter Nine - Short skirts...


I scooped up the Raybans and positioned them back on my face so she could not see the shock in my eyes.

This chick really likes me, you can just tell right.

TOXIC THREADS EH?? she bellowed.

TOXIC THREADS EH.....

She throws out the window in my general direction a1/2 eaten Chikmmi Chonga from some taco shop (sp?) and it hit the end of my boot. splat.

(I could of ate that I was thinking.)

I did not want things to escalate any further and totally fall to pieces... so I put on my best brave smile and told her we need to deal with her car issues.

I just can't take it when these soft loveley woman start falling to pieces. She already had a bad day.



Earlyer I was upset and I didnt get the chance to correct myself, so I blurted it out...

ma'am, your not toxic, your enthusiastic. So many jelly little worms that although your attempting something you feel is normal (it is (normally)) and expressing yourself (you do) it attracts the toxic little goons. And then we are all toxic. Even me, I get wild. I have a "loopy" and then i operate too loose mouthed.

Do you remember them I said?

She coyly said yes.

Well let me get on the iPad and see what the hell we can do to get you all figured out here.

You could see the relief in her, she brightened up and smiled.

Boys... sometimes you just NEED to white knight a bit. It will come back to you.

As I was wiping the mannaise off my boot, I gazed inconspicuously into her car and at her.

Well I be dammed... she's wearing a short skirt and a long jacket?

i may be able to turn this all around...

I don't think women are satisfied with anything less than perfection.
We can never be perfect, but can always strive for it.
Sure they absolutely are important, but your not supposed to let them know that, or they lose their hunger.
Just show them, and keep them guessing.

A guy would have to wonder... how does YOUR wife put up with you?

Jimmy I bet we look alike and have the exact same tastes and lifestyle.

I don't have any Bega Group Vegimite, and you never had Rogers Golden Syrop.

Their getting frantic, I have to finish my story.


she had a whopper, you got a copy?

First of all I tried to break her spirit.
I failed
Then I showed her hypocrisy.
I failed.
Then I tried to break her spirit again.
I failed.
Then I decided she could be trusted and apologised to her.
She forgave me, but more importantly herself for being a rabid cow for so long.
Now we have a mutual, respectful honest understanding.

Chapter Ten - She broke me...


I was still slightly groggy from the B&B, to the extent I was just going to load the Wagon (I missed the 65 c/10 because it as over priced) and then park over under the tree's down by the little park and picknick tables they have set up for the Staff and event crew/crews.

I was impaired. I can't drive out of here high on B&B

IM looped for gods sakes, she fed me three triples earlier at the sale.

She got me drunk. She got me distracted. She slipped out the back door.

Pepperidge Farms Remembers...

OK... I get the hint. lol. OK, better luck next time.

I'm sorry. Let's move on because really, I should be in my nice cozy Northern Lite truck camper playing with my balls.

uhhh, my exercise balls.



Do you want me to take the wagon off the trailer and suck you on?



Of course she said yes.

she's going to beak me...

Damn you are funny Chow.
Good writer too. Much like me, except I can't be arsed writing much only to have it deleted.