2008 Darwin awards | |
Dread Pirate Roberts (OP) User ID: 583335 United States 01/02/2009 05:56 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | this one's funnier. I am voting for Run Away! Run! No, Run Away! 2008 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (July 16, 2008, Italy) Ivece Plattner, 68, was queued at a traffic light in his Porsche Cayenne sportscar. Before one reaches the light, there is a railroad crossing. As you might imagine, given Murphy's law, a train was coming. The man did not let the queue progress forward far enough before he crossed the railroad. The safety bars came down, leaving the Porsche trapped on the rails. It took the driver awhile to realize he was stuck, according to witnesses. Finally, he jumped from the car and started to run -- toward the oncoming train, waving his arms in an attempt to save his car! The attempt was successful. The car received less damage than its owner. He was pushed hard enough to land 30 meters away, and attempts to revive him were unsuccessful. The moral of the story? Momentum always wins. [link to www.darwinawards.com] "From that time Jesus began to preach and say, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." Matthew 4:17 |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 583527 United States 01/02/2009 06:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 584753 United States 01/02/2009 06:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | so far in the lead by a comfortable margin is the Balloon Priest, with 8.9 (13620 votes) over DA:Run! No, Run Away! 7.8 (4528 votes) Quoting: Dread Pirate Robertsvote for your favorite Darin nominee here [link to www.darwinawards.com] The Balloon Priest 2008 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean, Brazil) In 1982 Lawn Chair Larry, beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy attempt, attached 45 helium weather balloons to his comfortable Sears lawn chair, packed a picnic and a , and cut the tether. But instead of drifting lazily above the Los Angeles landscape, the combined lift of 45 huge helium balloons rocketed Larry into LAX air traffic lanes 16,000 feet above sea level. Astoundingly, he survived the "flight." In homage to Larry's aerial adventure, a Catholic priest recently ascended towards heaven on a host of helium party balloons. Adelir Antonio de Carli, 41, was attempting to set the world record for clustered balloon flight to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers. Sitting for more than 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter, even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal mistake. He did not know how to use the GPS. The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land, but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he prudently phoned for help. But rescuers were unable to reach him since he could not use his GPS! HE struggled with the control panel as the charge on the satellite phone dwindled. Instead of a GPS, the priest let God be his guide, and God guided him straight to heaven. Bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches. Ultimately the priest's body surfaced, confirming that he, like Elvis, had left the building. The kicker? It's a Double Darwin. Catholic priests take vows of celibacy. Since they voluntarily remove themselves from the gene pool, the entire group earns a mass Darwin Award. Adelir Antonio wins twice over! This is the same thing that happened in '96 no priest though, just a real dumbass. Still the LA area but same shit. |