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Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?

 
Dom Doom
User ID: 632123
Australia
03/11/2009 07:00 AM
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Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
I want to change my lifestyle and start living a miserable life.
I have been told to visit this site because most of the residents here are fairly miserable and live daily in gloom and doom, either waiting for Jesus to rupture them, or the Antichrist to save them or the economic crash to turn into a full blown depression with all the appropriate riots and famine and pestilences.
This scenario excites me a lot, particularly as I am now too old to get excited with sex or money.
Also I think that a good dose of sicknesses and personal tragedies would help to improve the level of misery.
Open to your kind suggestions.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 632463
Australia
03/11/2009 07:11 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Well..if you want to be miserable..

Just ACCEPT the FACT..(Like all of us here at GLP)..that we are INESCAPABLY DOOOOMED!!!


There is NOTHING you can do aboput it except piss and moan and about the ONLY real happiness GLPERS have is the prospect of IMPENDING DOOM!

We get REAL SAD we we DONT get blown to smitherines by a terrorist attack or poisoned in some chemical spill or anhialated by a space rock or cooked to death by a solar flare or crushed in an earthquake or buried in lava or swept away by a tidal wave or starved to death in some famine or killed of by a bird flu or poisoned to death by a chemtrail or fried by a haarp malfunction or vaporised in some atomic war or stolen and disected by some aliens or kidnapped by the PTB and tortured to death in a fema camp or experimented on in some underground virus lab or shot by some random killer gone nuts or tazed to death by some crazy cop or beaten to death in a food riot...

Heck..we just dont GET UP in the morning unless we at least HOPE one of the above might happen and brighten up an otherwise doomless day.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 632455
United States
03/11/2009 07:14 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Just get a T.V.
GlennQuagmire

User ID: 601929
United States
03/11/2009 07:15 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Get a job.

Pay taxes.

Turn on the TV every evening when you get home from work and see where your tax money is being spent.

You'll hang yourself within a month.
GiggityGiggityGiggity!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 631879
United States
03/11/2009 07:17 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Go for that rupture you spelling whiz you!
Fuck You
User ID: 51704
Canada
03/11/2009 07:22 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Make sure you keep lots of mirrors around, and bash your face into them when you see your reflection. That should make you pretty miserable....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 630953
United States
03/11/2009 07:23 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
hit the bottle every day
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 568329
United States
03/11/2009 07:25 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Believe in a 2-party system, keep voting your guys in. Believe you will retire and live a good life on Social Security. ,.oh god, the voices..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 623310
United States
03/11/2009 07:26 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
I want to change my lifestyle and start living a miserable life.
I have been told to visit this site because most of the residents here are fairly miserable and live daily in gloom and doom, either waiting for Jesus to rupture them, or the Antichrist to save them or the economic crash to turn into a full blown depression with all the appropriate riots and famine and pestilences.
This scenario excites me a lot, particularly as I am now too old to get excited with sex or money.
Also I think that a good dose of sicknesses and personal tragedies would help to improve the level of misery.
Open to your kind suggestions.
 Quoting: Dom Doom 632123



just keep walking around with a perpetual frown on your face...

people will let you know very quickly that you're one miserable rascal that they could give 2 shakes of chit about...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 632371
United States
03/11/2009 07:36 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
An efficient way to become miserable is to assume the worst and hope for the best. Misery can be found in general distrust of your fellow human beings and waiting for the change you desire instead of simply being it.
Krysalis

User ID: 570987
United States
03/11/2009 07:38 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Well..if you want to be miserable..

Just ACCEPT the FACT..(Like all of us here at GLP)..that we are INESCAPABLY DOOOOMED!!!


There is NOTHING you can do aboput it except piss and moan and about the ONLY real happiness GLPERS have is the prospect of IMPENDING DOOM!

We get REAL SAD we we DONT get blown to smitherines by a terrorist attack or poisoned in some chemical spill or anhialated by a space rock or cooked to death by a solar flare or crushed in an earthquake or buried in lava or swept away by a tidal wave or starved to death in some famine or killed of by a bird flu or poisoned to death by a chemtrail or fried by a haarp malfunction or vaporised in some atomic war or stolen and disected by some aliens or kidnapped by the PTB and tortured to death in a fema camp or experimented on in some underground virus lab or shot by some random killer gone nuts or tazed to death by some crazy cop or beaten to death in a food riot...

Heck..we just dont GET UP in the morning unless we at least HOPE one of the above might happen and brighten up an otherwise doomless day.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 632463


There you have it!!! Truth, truly spoken!!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21385
United States
03/11/2009 07:39 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
I want to change my lifestyle and start living a miserable life.
I have been told to visit this site because most of the residents here are fairly miserable and live daily in gloom and doom, either waiting for Jesus to rupture them, or the Antichrist to save them or the economic crash to turn into a full blown depression with all the appropriate riots and famine and pestilences.
This scenario excites me a lot, particularly as I am now too old to get excited with sex or money.
Also I think that a good dose of sicknesses and personal tragedies would help to improve the level of misery.
Open to your kind suggestions.
 Quoting: Dom Doom 632123

hf My sentiments, exactly. If some of these folks went to Heaven after they died, they'd be disappointed.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 632455
United States
03/11/2009 07:42 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
The truth is a lie.
Nailer45

User ID: 632485
United States
03/11/2009 07:45 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
miserable life consists of being a obama supporter that lives in a fantasy world where obama will save us . The truth being obama will enslave us.
Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny.
Thomas Jefferson
Dom Doom (OP)
User ID: 632123
Australia
03/11/2009 08:17 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
I heard that reading the bible makes you miserable
is it true?
they have suggested to me to read the book of Job?
has anyone read it?
they say that a god named Jehovah and his friend named Satan meet every day for a beer and a smoke and have a bet with each other to see how much misery this poor bastard Job can endure.
they decide to kill his family, his children his animals and send him broke and send him pestilence and boils on his penis just for fun just to see what it takes to break him.
has anyone here read the bible?
sounds to me like a good place to start on teh way to becoming miserable??
equ8tor

User ID: 632437
Australia
03/11/2009 08:18 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
1-Try something new.
2-Get fucked.
3-Rinse and repeat.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 580244
United States
03/11/2009 08:24 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Become one of the sheeple of society. That way you'll be disoriented and confused all the time, not to mention miserable.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 585009
Australia
03/11/2009 08:32 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Get a job.

Pay taxes.

Turn on the TV every evening when you get home from work and see where your tax money is being spent.

You'll hang yourself within a month.
 Quoting: GlennQuagmire



1rof1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 476538
United States
03/11/2009 08:36 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
I want to change my lifestyle and start living a miserable life.
I have been told to visit this site because most of the residents here are fairly miserable and live daily in gloom and doom, either waiting for Jesus to rupture them, or the Antichrist to save them or the economic crash to turn into a full blown depression with all the appropriate riots and famine and pestilences.
This scenario excites me a lot, particularly as I am now too old to get excited with sex or money.
Also I think that a good dose of sicknesses and personal tragedies would help to improve the level of misery.
Open to your kind suggestions.
 Quoting: Dom Doom 632123
Run for president,listen to RUSH,buy gold,fuck more often
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 511255
United States
03/11/2009 08:47 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Naw, you've got it pretty much figured out.
kat

User ID: 628311
United States
03/11/2009 08:56 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
We love our doom. It makes for great panic sex.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Leoparda_Sanctus

User ID: 632538
United States
03/11/2009 09:24 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Fuck you OP bitch. Obvious attempt to insult prepared choices.
Brother sun, intuition moon. Home at the forest.

Sure every post I have mentions goat blood...How do you think we get plasma tv's?

Organic needs are being assaulted. I'm not amused by this & encourage all to grow heirloom seed for themselves.

The garden gives greatest power.
Diabetes curing food list [Forget the FDA - Think for yourself]:
Thread: Every item recently recalled by FDA for salmonella has diabetic healing also prostate Big Pharma rids their competition
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 629317
United States
03/11/2009 09:49 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
op is trying to stir sh*t up- how old are you OP? maybe you will die soon and not have to worry about becoming miserable
Ossie bloke
User ID: 424327
Romania
03/11/2009 09:57 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Don't bother trying to lead a miserable life on your own because it probably won't happen. Allow others to make your life miserable for you, which for many people is a natural talent. It's unfortunate for them though because it makes them feel good.

Don't be selfish with your misery either, demonstrate to others how miserable life can be without forcing it upon them. Babble on endlessly about your health problems and how much you hate existence but fear death.

If your feeling up there are quick and easy fixes like inducing a severe ball or vagina itch using fiberglass shavings, the more you itch the worse it gets!

Most importantly you must not want to be miserable. From what you are saying OP it seems you are in a catch 22 situation. If you play things right this could give you a good position from which to dive into lows of misery you never dreamt possible. Aim for happiness and the universe will provide precisely what you don't want which is the Zen path to misery.
himself

User ID: 620089
United States
03/11/2009 10:29 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
At this website, you might try making up ridiculous tales and posting them as troll topics.

To waste peoples' time for your own amusement.

A great example of 'how to' is the Charlie Brown Comic Strip character Lucy, who finds misery in everything and tries to spread it to others.

[link to www.google.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 632964
Australia
03/11/2009 06:13 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Misery LOVES company.

WE ARE ALL DOOOMED!!!

So we are in good company.
The Psychedelic Magi

User ID: 611217
United States
03/11/2009 06:20 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
i'm an asshole for this...

but here is a play by play example of how to accomplish your dream, OP


Thread: GLP Censorship Someone deleted my new thread
I WILL NOT let consequences dictate my course of action!

A.K.A - Aresh, Awakened Me, An Ominous Coward (Howard), The Goddess Pandora, Aumon Haht Fith Ashai, Within The Flower and a few others...
------------------------------------

In all things, i am flowing back thru and in and out, within and without and beyond them.

This is the Cosm. This is both I and You.

I am the Truth, and I am the Lie - I am the very spark of the Divine!


------------------
as soon as you even go near these things your ego knows what it is.. its all like "what ya gonna do with that?" "Hope you not gonna take it" "cause i will throw myself down on the floor and scratch, claw and bite and tantrum" - Kyuubi


"the gift of love makes much more sense than frankincense gold and myrhh" - Only Me
Reality is BS

User ID: 629077
United States
03/11/2009 06:21 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Become a victim. Never take responsibility for anything that happens in your life. Blame others and always find the negative to focus on.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 632964
Australia
03/11/2009 08:15 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
Become a victim. Never take responsibility for anything that happens in your life. Blame others and always find the negative to focus on.
 Quoting: Reality is BS


Thats how you get into politics...

To get miserable...just follow what the politicians tell you...and believe the news.
the otter woman
User ID: 633063
United States
03/11/2009 08:40 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
constantly lie to yourself and everyone else.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 632825
United States
03/11/2009 08:48 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on How to live a Miserable Life?
drink lots of battery acid and lye.





GLP