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With typical flamboyance and fanfare, French President Nicolas Sarkozy this week announced that France is to rejoin Nato's military command after 40 years of self-imposed exile.

It was in 1966 that President Charles de Gaulle pulled out of the heart of the Nato alliance, claiming that belonging to the Nato military command undermined French independence and sovereignty.

Yet while its allies in the alliance have publicly welcomed this return to the fold, a fundamental question seems to have been ignored: do we actually want the French back?


Since World War II, the French and its army have been seen by many as standard-bearers for surrender, cowardice and military ineptitude.

But at least they've made us laugh. Here's a selection of morale-boosting jokes and quips about the people so memorably described in The Simpsons TV series as the cheese-eating surrender monkeys...

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

The army.

How can you recognise a French veteran?

Sunburned armpits.
Nicolas Sarkozy

Nicolas Sarkozy says France will rejoin NATO

Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?

Germans like to march in the shade.

Why did it take Germany three days to conquer France in World War II?

Because it was raining.

Why did the French give America the Statue of Liberty?

Because she has only one arm raised.

Why do the French get more votes in the U.N.?

They vote with both hands.

Why is the French fighter plane called the Mirage?

It doesn't exist.

Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?

Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

What does 'Maginot' mean in German?

Welcome!

Why is the French Foreign Legion the only decent fighting force in the whole French Army?

Because it's made up of foreigners.