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Message Subject Opinions Needed
Poster Handle Myst
Post Content
Use words sparingly - read "Of Mice and Men" for example.
Avoid passive verb structure.
And from an article I read about how to write fantasy stories:
"Show" don't "tell".

Did you find any scrapes or bruises when you felt your head in paragraph 1? I'd have rather read "Pain shot down my forehead as my fingers found a jagged cut at the edge of my hairline on the left side of my forehead".

I'm no writer, but since you wanted opinions - here's another one, for what it's worth. Good luck!!!
 
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