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What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? |
Love Is... User ID: 672093 Germany 05/05/2009 07:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? What is Real Love?
Real Love: The Love We’ve All Been Looking For — Unconditional Love
We've heard songs about it, seen it in the movies, heard it talked about on Oprah by relationship experts, and read about it in thousands of self help books. But, what is unconditional love? We all want to feel loved. We think about it, hope for it, fantasize about it, go to great lengths to achieve it, and feel that our lives are incomplete without it. The lack of unconditional love is the cause of most of our anger and confusion. It is no exaggeration to say that our emotional need for unconditional love is just as great as our physical need for air and food.
It is especially unfortunate, then, that most of us have no idea what unconditional love really is, and we prove our ignorance with our horrifying divorce rate, the incidence of alcohol and drug addiction in our country, the violence in our schools, and our overflowing jails.
Our misconceptions of unconditional love began in early childhood, where we saw that when we did all the right things—when we were clean, quiet, obedient and otherwise “good”—people “loved” us. They smiled at us and spoke in gentle tones. But we also saw that when we were “bad,” all those signs of “love” instantly vanished. In short, we were taught by consistent experience that love was conditional, that we had to buy “love” from the people around us with our words and behavior.
So what’s wrong with conditional love? We see it everywhere we look, so what could be wrong with it? Imagine that every time you pay me fifty dollars, I tell you I love you. We could do that all day, but at the end of the day would you feel loved? No, because you’d know that I “loved” you only because you paid me. We simply can’t feel fulfilled by love we pay for. We can feel loved only when it is freely, unconditionally given to us. The instant we do anything at all to win the approval or respect of other people—with what we say, what we do, how we look—we are paying for the attention and affection we receive, and we can’t feel genuinely loved.
A New Definition of Love: Real Love
There’s only one kind of love that can fill us up, make us whole, and give us the happiness we all want: unconditional love or true love. It is unconditional love that we all seek, and somehow we intuitively realize that anything other than that kind of love isn’t really love at all—it’s an imitation of the real thing.
Unconditional love—true love—is so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves both a name—Real Love—and definition of its own: Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It’s also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. It is not Real Love when other people like us for doing what they want. Under those conditions we’re just paying for love again. We can be certain that we’re receiving Real Love only when we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to do what other people want, and even when we get in their way, but they don’t feel disappointed or irritated at us. That is Real Love (true unconditional love), and that love alone has the power to heal all wounds, bind people together, and create relationships quite beyond our present capacity to imagine.
What we Do Without Real Love: Imitation Love
If we don’t have enough Real Love in our lives, the resulting emptiness is unbearable. We then compulsively try to fill our emptiness with whatever feels good in the moment—money, anger, sex, alcohol, drugs, violence, power, and the conditional approval of others. Anything we use as a substitute for Real Love becomes a form of Imitation Love, and although Imitation Love feels good for a moment, it never lasts and never gives us the feeling of genuine happiness that Real Love provides. Most people spend their entire lives trying to fill their emptiness with Imitation Love, but all they achieve is an ever-deepening frustration, punctuated by brief moments of superficial satisfaction. All the unhappiness in our lives is due to that lack of Real Love and to the frustration we experience as we desperately and hopelessly try to create happiness from a flawed foundation of Imitation Love. The beauty of Real Love is that it ALWAYS will eliminate our anger, confusion, and pain. So how do we find this universal cure? |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 672089 United Kingdom 05/05/2009 07:15 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals. |
Bob Saget
User ID: 578679 United Kingdom 05/05/2009 07:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 672089No it's not The chariots of God are tens of thousands, and thousands of thousands. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 672106 Switzerland 05/05/2009 07:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? unconditional love is not real. it's a selfish perverted fantasy, an ideal. people want to be the puppy getting it's belly rubbed and bones tossed at it or something.
the closest thing i can concieve of unconditional love is what some parents have for their child. we want to be someon'e little baby forver. some of us. we some milkbones and some old lady to put a ute little sweater on us. |
Eve_4000Bc
User ID: 585449 United States 05/05/2009 07:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? What is Real Love?
Real Love: The Love We’ve All Been Looking For — Unconditional Love
Quoting: Love Is... 672093All humans have conditions. The only thing that is unconditional when it comes to love is Gods love. He chose us! Last Edited by Eve_4000Bc on 05/05/2009 07:21 AMQuestion authority every time. Ask them how that makes them feel. Ask them why? Ask them when you have an opinion with your opinion and question them with that! There is no being with ALL THE answers accept for God. Even still question. But trust if it's all good and loving then follow with your full heart believing. For the light will always be the light. It makes me a believer. |
naughtyearthling
User ID: 672056 Australia 05/05/2009 07:21 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 672089 ... im thinkin its the wacko tabacco ya smokin actually drugs are bad mkay! .. ThE BiTcH iN mE iS A TeAsE .. ThErEfOrE I AiM TwO PlEaSe .. |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 631711 United States 05/05/2009 07:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Real unconditional love from my understanding, is when you can find a girl who makes your toes curl. Blowjobs = marriage. |
Winningjob
User ID: 385114 United States 05/05/2009 07:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? ...is what I got...that's quite a lot! |
kwodo User ID: 656535 United States 05/05/2009 07:33 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? At our awakenings purest for we are unconditional love. |
kwodo User ID: 656535 United States 05/05/2009 07:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? purest form ......sorry. We are made in Gods image. That doesnt mean God looks like a human it means we are unconditional love. |
AsperGirl User ID: 670989 United States 05/05/2009 07:36 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
I believe that true love is unconditional. How people BEHAVE who feel love is another matter. You have to set limits and enforce them, or leave inappropriate relationships. You have to treat people as if there are limits in the world. People who don't have limits because of love they feel can become dangerous idiots and harm others or themselves. But the love itself is a separate thing than how people treat each other. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 631711 United States 05/05/2009 07:37 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Real unconditional love from my understanding, is when you can find a girl who makes your toes curl. Blowjobs = marriage.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 631711 I'm pretty sure I answer the question correctly. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 661844 Australia 05/05/2009 07:40 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? The are always conditions in everything in existence.
There is nothing that is unconditional.
Love comes and it goes.
The conditions were there for it to happen. It had to have conditions in the first place.
Common sense and logic will tell u that. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 579266 Sweden 05/05/2009 07:49 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? It's like in North Korea; you have to love your leader or else...you go to the plutonium mines! That's real love! lol |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 666169 United States 05/05/2009 08:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Unconditional LOVE means that you LOVE someone no matter what they do or say. You just LOVE them for being themselves. |
nurse 68 User ID: 668729 Australia 05/05/2009 08:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you.'" - -- Erich Fromm I think this quote best describes true love I think there is such thing as true love I think there needs to be only one condition for true luv to work the condition to respect each other and yourself A large percentage of surviving spouses in the elderly die within a year of their partner dying. In a lot of cases the survivor is in reasonable health at the time of their spouses death Isn't this evidence of true love because a lot of times the remaining spouse gives up due to being so lonely without their spouse "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix |
Aileana
User ID: 561062 United States 05/05/2009 08:56 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Unconditional LOVE means that you LOVE someone no matter what they do or say. You just LOVE them for being themselves.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 666169and then you get married |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 628073 Canada 05/05/2009 09:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? So very true. Unconditional love is what everyone seeks but few have. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 310117 United States 05/05/2009 09:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Eatin a shit pie , But still holding the love... Unconditional ya'know... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 672184 United Kingdom 05/05/2009 09:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.
No it's not
Quoting: Bob SagetYes it is. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 643944 United States 05/05/2009 09:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 672089No - it's a lot more than that. And it does exist. |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 661844 Australia 05/05/2009 09:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Unconditional LOVE means that you LOVE someone no matter what they do or say. You just LOVE them for being themselves.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 666169 |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 672193 United States 05/05/2009 09:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Can you really have unconditional love as long as ego exists? |
Ladën x Lou
User ID: 621244 United States 05/05/2009 09:29 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? I cant say for sure what it is .....but I know its out there...... "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 672105 Australia 05/05/2009 09:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.
No it's not
Yes it is.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 672184agreed...when someone can fall in love, or for that matter, to fall out of love...it's all in the brain chemicals. real love shouldn't be called "love" at all. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 643944 United States 05/05/2009 09:34 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
I believe there are various depths to love. The initial crazy breathless romantic love being the weakest type - since it's often based on perception void of the facts. We get 'heady' over someone without really knowing the person. And begin to see them as our image of perfection. Until one day when they open their mouth and say or do the 'wrong' thing. Bye bye perfect image. That's not unconditional love - that's romantic love. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 671479 United Kingdom 05/05/2009 09:37 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Understanding.
That's it. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 671593 United Kingdom 05/05/2009 09:37 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? how many of u failures on here have a fucking job? i demand to know what you are doing to retrain in order to find gainful employment! |
Bugeater User ID: 648022 United States 05/05/2009 09:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Read the bible, it spells it out word for word. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 643944 United States 05/05/2009 09:43 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? Unconditional love takes years to develop. It develops from a bond (friendship, new parenthood) that forms. It's not glamorous - it's more down to earth and unassuming. It's the stuff that has you slog through all the mire and the headaches life can throw at you. But somehow - you emerge together - still devoted - still loving one another - despite the odds. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 643944 United States 05/05/2009 09:44 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love??? how many of u failures on here have a fucking job? i demand to know what you are doing to retrain in order to find gainful employment!
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 671593I work flex hours |
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