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Newfie Medical Dictionary

 
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06/07/2009 10:31 PM
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Newfie Medical Dictionary
Newfie Medical Dictionary

Our friends in Newfoundland have the Lowest Stress rate because they do not take medical terminology serious, you are going to die anyway, so live life and drink till you cannot lift your own mug!



Newfie Medical Dictionary

Artery......................... The study of paintings
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria
Barium........................ What doctors do when patients die
Benign........................ What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section.............. A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan...................... Searching for Kitty
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her
Colic.......................... A sheep dog
Coma........................... A punctuation mark
Dilate......................... To live long
Enema.......................... Not a friend
Fester......................... Quicker than someone else
Fibula......................... A small lie
Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain.................... Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane
Morbid......................... A higher offer
Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates
Node........................... I knew it
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative................ A letter carrier
Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery
Rectum......................... Nearly killed him
Secretion...................... Hiding something
Seizure........................ Roman emperor
Tablet......................... A small table
Terminal Illness.............. Getting sick at the airport
Tumor.......................... One plus one more
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out
I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as fraud.
CARL JUNG IN 1919

"The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those who don't have it." - George Bernard Shaw

Cree proverb:
Only after the last tree has been cut down, only after the last river has been poisoned, only after the last fish has been caught, only then will you find, that money cannot be eaten.

"Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply buried from view) consists of its attitude towards those who are at its mercy - animals."
-Milan Kundera, "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" (1984)





GLP