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DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER

 
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2009 07:02 PM
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DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
[link to www.abc.net.au]

"A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh Fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

"The main part of his act saw him appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member through a special attachment.

"The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required."
____________________

For those of you here that like to vacuum your penis's, please be careful as you maneuver your Hoovers.
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2009 07:04 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
laugh
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2009 07:05 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
CLASSIC!
Anonymous Coward
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Spain
06/15/2009 07:06 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
wicked damned
S7EVE

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06/15/2009 07:07 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
[link to www.abc.net.au]

"A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh Fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 700268



Yep, Britain's got talent.
Burning Beard

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06/15/2009 07:07 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
Am I the only one wondering what the act is?
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2009 07:07 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
flick
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2009 07:08 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
I mean .. maybe he just wanted squeaky clean and dust free
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2009 07:08 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
Wow, guess the Scots have some strange festivals going on.
Z-Man

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06/15/2009 07:09 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
Am I the only one wondering what the act is?
 Quoting: Burning Beard


nope i was wondering that myself
Ron Paul - 2012
Thoughts Faux Fodder

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06/15/2009 07:09 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
holy canollie!!! poor guy ohh wow ... jeeze people do some really odd things lol
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all....
Emily Dickinson
Anonymous Cow Art
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06/15/2009 07:11 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
[link to www.abc.net.au]

"A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh Fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.


Yep, Britain's got talent.
 Quoting: S7EVE



chuckle
S7EVE

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06/15/2009 07:12 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
Am I the only one wondering what the act is?
 Quoting: Burning Beard


Sword swallowing, by the look of it, lol.
~BriZz~

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06/15/2009 07:12 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E [accident and emergency ward] with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said."


BUT ACTUALLY DOING THE ACT WASN'T EMBARASSING? wtf
"I'm just like you...just not as cool"


fight my brute! [link to brizznitch.mybrute.com]
Andromeda

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06/15/2009 07:13 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
Am I the only one wondering what the act is?


nope i was wondering that myself
 Quoting: Z-Man

It's like what kind of circus do they take their kids to???
Burning Beard

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06/15/2009 07:14 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
Am I the only one wondering what the act is?


Sword swallowing, by the look of it, lol.
 Quoting: S7EVE

Must've sucked.
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2009 07:17 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
[link to www.abc.net.au]

"A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh Fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

"The main part of his act saw him appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member through a special attachment.

"The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required."
____________________

For those of you here that like to vacuum your penis's, please be careful as you maneuver your Hoovers.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 700268

should have purchased a fleshlight
Anonymous Coward
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New Zealand
06/15/2009 07:18 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
Am I the only one wondering what the act is?
 Quoting: Burning Beard

musical instrument
S7EVE

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06/15/2009 07:19 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
BREAKING: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER

You don't get a ticker like that on Sky News...
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2009 07:20 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
Where's the video?????????
jnchisox1

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06/15/2009 07:20 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Last Edited by jnchisox1 on 06/15/2009 07:20 PM
why not?

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New Zealand
06/15/2009 07:22 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
[link to www.abc.net.au]

"A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh Fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.


Yep, Britain's got talent.
 Quoting: S7EVE

LOL
S7EVE

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06/15/2009 07:23 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me," Mr Blackner said, "But it was even worse when the plug retracted."
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 700268
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06/15/2009 07:27 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
[link to www.abc.net.au]

"A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh Fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.


Yep, Britain's got talent.
 Quoting: S7EVE

_______________________

Actual cases from the British Medical Journal:

"Case 1--A 60-year-old man said that he was changing the plug of his Hoover Dustette vacuum cleaner in the nude while his wife was out shopping. It 'turned itself on' and caught his penis, causing tears around the external meatus.... Multiple lacerations of the glans [were] repaired with catgut.

"Case 2--A 65-year-old railway signalman was in his signal box when he bent down to pick up his tools and 'caught his penis in a Hoover Dustette, which happened to be switched on.' He suffered extensive lacerations to the glans.

"Case 3--A 49-year-old man was vacuuming his friend's staircase in a loose-fitting dressing gown, when, intending to switch the machine off, he leaned across to reach the plug; 'at that moment his dressing gown became undone and his penis was sucked into the vacuum cleaner.'"
________________

Take Away Lessons: Please take extreme care when changing the plugs, or bending down to pick up your "tools," or vacuuming staircases in the nude or with your Willy hanging out in a "state of nature."
czygyny

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06/15/2009 07:47 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E [accident and emergency ward] with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.
 Quoting:


Er, wait a minute, this guy goes on stage with a vacuum cleaner stuck to his penis and going to the hospital is the MOST embarrassing moment in his life?

Oh, the irony.
Kletos, Eklektos & Pistos
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2009 07:49 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
I bet (absolutely nothing) that this piece of news was 100x as funny as the act would have been.
Waldo
User ID: 685116
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06/15/2009 07:50 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E [accident and emergency ward] with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.


Er, wait a minute, this guy goes on stage with a vacuum cleaner stuck to his penis and going to the hospital is the MOST embarrassing moment in his life?

Oh, the irony.
 Quoting: czygyny


It's never embarrassing if you're paid enough.
S7EVE

User ID: 365611
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06/15/2009 07:51 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
The embarrassing part was when they used him to clean the back seat of the chief surgeon's car.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/15/2009 07:52 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E [accident and emergency ward] with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.


Er, wait a minute, this guy goes on stage with a vacuum cleaner stuck to his penis and going to the hospital is the MOST embarrassing moment in his life?

Oh, the irony.


It's never embarrassing if you're paid enough.
 Quoting: Waldo 685116



Maybe it was a mini vac.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 704312
United States
06/16/2009 08:20 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E [accident and emergency ward] with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.


Er, wait a minute, this guy goes on stage with a vacuum cleaner stuck to his penis and going to the hospital is the MOST embarrassing moment in his life?

Oh, the irony.


It's never embarrassing if you're paid enough.



Maybe it was a mini vac.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 362931

______________

LoL. Good one. Dwarfbuster!
Babe in a Bunker

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06/16/2009 08:21 PM
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Re: DWARF GETS PENIS CAUGHT IN VACUUM CLEANER
Pin this immediately.
Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?


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GLP