Kindness v Good looks | |
_Storm_ User ID: 362931 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:10 AM ![]() Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Why can't there be both? Why have to choose between physically repulsive but a great guy and the handsome jerks? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 332398Just a pipe dream I guess. That's why I'll always be alone. Of course there are both. If a guy is good looking, he just has to not be a jerk. For those that are less good looking, they can do other things to help. Posture, clothing, haircut. I mean, he has to be himself otherwise he won't find the right woman for him. But if he is just average looking then he will do fine. Just try a tiny bit harder. Now, if a guy is just horrible looking then he won't do as well. But there are guys who's looks I don't like that women think are very handsome. So a lot of it is a persons taste. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 729486 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | BS, if some guy is ugly as ass, but yet had a great sense of humor, and an intelligence beyond intelligence, none of you woman would even give this hypothetical individual a chance. Quoting: _Storm_This is the harsh truth. Women are so full of shit. At least be honest for once. So you had no problem finding plenty of women I assume. Did you ever marry? Is/was the woman sweet and caring? Pretty? Just curious what an alpha male looks for. Did I touch a nerve? |
_Storm_ User ID: 362931 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:32 AM ![]() Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | BS, if some guy is ugly as ass, but yet had a great sense of humor, and an intelligence beyond intelligence, none of you woman would even give this hypothetical individual a chance. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 729486This is the harsh truth. Women are so full of shit. At least be honest for once. So you had no problem finding plenty of women I assume. Did you ever marry? Is/was the woman sweet and caring? Pretty? Just curious what an alpha male looks for. Did I touch a nerve? LOL, yeah that's what happened alright. No, I thought this was I would ask what alpha men looked for. Perhaps I was the one that hit a nerve. No matter how many times I read my post I don't see wher I wrote as if a nerve had been touched on my part. You said women are full of shit. I asked what you look for in a woman. |
Qualia User ID: 728798 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:32 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I learned a very, very long time ago that handsome is as handsome does when my (drop dead gorgeous) husband abandoned our infant son and myself never to be heard from again, save for one brief telephone contact. With that aside, humans are whole packages who embody a variety of physical, emotional, and spiritual nuances...the good, the bad, and the ugly. Nothing is so cut and dry with any one of us, male or female, that one attribute makes a person absolutely mateable. If we're lucky - really very lucky - we find a mate who when we gaze into their eyes love, respect, caring, and devotion are reflected between one another, and pain and fear do not enter "the picture." If we've got this, we've got it all. Good looks alone will least likely make up for either mate witholding love, disrespectfullness, an uncaring nature, and selfishness. Even the most shallow of people are capable of being hurt. If you spin in your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 729486 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | BS, if some guy is ugly as ass, but yet had a great sense of humor, and an intelligence beyond intelligence, none of you woman would even give this hypothetical individual a chance. Quoting: _Storm_This is the harsh truth. Women are so full of shit. At least be honest for once. So you had no problem finding plenty of women I assume. Did you ever marry? Is/was the woman sweet and caring? Pretty? Just curious what an alpha male looks for. Did I touch a nerve? LOL, yeah that's what happened alright. No, I thought this was I would ask what alpha men looked for. Perhaps I was the one that hit a nerve. No matter how many times I read my post I don't see wher I wrote as if a nerve had been touched on my part. You said women are full of shit. I asked what you look for in a woman. And you facetiously deduced that I was an "alpha male". I think I struck the "I'm really a materialistic manipulator" nerve. It's OK, it's nature. What sucks is that you deny it as though you're mother gaia or some shit. |
bed I will find you in the deserved User ID: 628959 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:38 AM ![]() Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
_Storm_ User ID: 362931 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:38 AM ![]() Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | BS, if some guy is ugly as ass, but yet had a great sense of humor, and an intelligence beyond intelligence, none of you woman would even give this hypothetical individual a chance. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 729486This is the harsh truth. Women are so full of shit. At least be honest for once. So you had no problem finding plenty of women I assume. Did you ever marry? Is/was the woman sweet and caring? Pretty? Just curious what an alpha male looks for. Did I touch a nerve? LOL, yeah that's what happened alright. No, I thought this was I would ask what alpha men looked for. Perhaps I was the one that hit a nerve. No matter how many times I read my post I don't see wher I wrote as if a nerve had been touched on my part. You said women are full of shit. I asked what you look for in a woman. And you facetiously deduced that I was an "alpha male". I think I struck the "I'm really a materialistic manipulator" nerve. It's OK, it's nature. What sucks is that you deny it as though you're mother gaia or some shit. I guess I am lost. I thought you said alpha males were not kind. Then you said women are full of shit. That was not a kind thing to say, so I assumed you were an alpha male. I don't even know where a materialistic manipulator comes into play. A man, I assume asked what women look for. That was the OP. I answered, and later asked a man what they look for. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 729486 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:38 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 729486 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:40 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I guess I am lost. I thought you said alpha males were not kind. Then you said women are full of shit. That was not a kind thing to say, so I assumed you were an alpha male. I don't even know where a materialistic manipulator comes into play. A man, I assume asked what women look for. That was the OP. I answered, and later asked a man what they look for. Quoting: _Storm_The truth is often perceived as unkind when it is in fact intended to be the opposite. |
Qualia User ID: 728798 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:41 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
_Storm_ User ID: 362931 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:43 AM ![]() Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I guess I am lost. I thought you said alpha males were not kind. Then you said women are full of shit. That was not a kind thing to say, so I assumed you were an alpha male. I don't even know where a materialistic manipulator comes into play. A man, I assume asked what women look for. That was the OP. I answered, and later asked a man what they look for. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 729486The truth is often perceived as unkind when it is in fact intended to be the opposite. As I said, I got lost. I am going to step away from the thread now, but wanted to respond so it didn't look like I ran off in a huff or anything. Sometimes my message board posts don't translate well I suppose. ![]() Last Edited by Storm* on 07/20/2009 09:43 AM |
DoomRaider User ID: 727833 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
_Storm_ User ID: 362931 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:46 AM ![]() Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
TVZ User ID: 578416 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Celtic (Keltic) User ID: 701306 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:49 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Doesn't have to be one over another... there can be both. Quoting: DoomRaiderSomeone mentioned that good looks fade. Well, I'd like to add to that - the kindness trait isn't always guaranteed to be lasting either. Kindness isn't difficult to maintain, no matter what ails befall you. How determined are you to be kind? It is the Thunderbolt that steers the Universe - Heraclitus |
Chunk (OP) User ID: 728532 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:51 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Looks are actually pretty low on my list. Quoting: TVZ 578416Kindness, sense of humor, intelligence all rank higher. Agree, same here.... I believe: "Kindness is the most powerful word of all. It is the action of love. With out it love would be but a word"...TVZ And Pity, Graeme Green, the most brilliant social observational novelist of the last century says that 'pity' alongside 'kindness' are the greater part of the concept of love. |
_Storm_ User ID: 362931 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:52 AM ![]() Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Doesn't have to be one over another... there can be both. Quoting: Celtic (Keltic)Someone mentioned that good looks fade. Well, I'd like to add to that - the kindness trait isn't always guaranteed to be lasting either. Kindness isn't difficult to maintain, no matter what ails befall you. How determined are you to be kind? But it can fade. People change. Age, medical issues, mental illnesses CAN happen. But I think you marry the person as they are when you marry them. You cannot go on what ifs. |
DoomRaider User ID: 727833 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:55 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Doesn't have to be one over another... there can be both. Quoting: Celtic (Keltic)Someone mentioned that good looks fade. Well, I'd like to add to that - the kindness trait isn't always guaranteed to be lasting either. Kindness isn't difficult to maintain, no matter what ails befall you. How determined are you to be kind? We'll have to agree to disagree here, Celtic. People that you meet that you might perceive to be as unkind... well, it doesn't mean they have always been that way. I know what you are saying here, though - natural tendencies usually follow over a course of time. And, of course, some people use a facade of kindness, when they are anything but... |
DoomRaider User ID: 727833 ![]() 07/20/2009 09:58 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Doesn't have to be one over another... there can be both. Quoting: _Storm_Someone mentioned that good looks fade. Well, I'd like to add to that - the kindness trait isn't always guaranteed to be lasting either. Kindness isn't difficult to maintain, no matter what ails befall you. How determined are you to be kind? But it can fade. People change. Age, medical issues, mental illnesses CAN happen. But I think you marry the person as they are when you marry them. You cannot go on what ifs. +1 Life happens... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 678723 ![]() 07/20/2009 10:01 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
bed I will find you in the deserved User ID: 628959 ![]() 07/20/2009 10:03 AM ![]() Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | kindness is attractive and good looks are kind to the eyes. Quoting: QualiaI understand the beauty of your sentiment, bed. It's lovely. You have kind eyes. ![]() the Universe is a free lunch, and does not require any sacrifice. Anonymous Coward 81194699 suffice it to say that the divine will of all consciousness is devoted to your return to unity. Anonymous Coward 80354296 |
Qualia User ID: 728798 ![]() 07/20/2009 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | kindness is attractive and good looks are kind to the eyes. Quoting: bedI understand the beauty of your sentiment, bed. It's lovely. You have kind eyes. ![]() Today's first smile on my face just happened. Thanks, bed! :bluerosehu: If you spin in your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 720000 ![]() 07/20/2009 10:11 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Dovespirit User ID: 730156 ![]() 07/20/2009 10:19 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 720000 ![]() 07/20/2009 10:29 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | There is are circumstances which call for kindness and circumstances which call for being an asshole. I like a man who knows the difference and acts appropriately. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 720000I forgot to address the looks issue. I'll admit that I wouldn't be sexually attracted to an ugly man, no matter how much money or intelligence he has. I wouldn't want to have sex with Bill Gates or Stephen Hawking. Sexual attraction does matter. There has to be something that keeps you wanting to be intimate with a person. Luckily, good looking doesn't automatically mean a person is mean-spirited. By the same token, ugly doesn't automatically mean the person is kind. That said, I'll take an average looking guy (not ugly, but not exactly Brad Pitt) who is a good man over a gorgeous jerk who is a bad person. |
Kind and Good Looking User ID: 729370 ![]() 07/20/2009 11:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Kindness is the stink of death. Girls don't really care much for looks, as long as you're a good enough ashole. They are into cocky, arrogant guys. guys that are in control. Not a supplicating wimp. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 729333Chicks dig assholes and won't even notice your kind ass! Wow how sad to be that cynical. Smart girls stay clear of assholes no matter how good looking they are. We can pick them from 5 miles. For some it takes awhile to wise up By the way i have met plenty of nice men who are in relationships with complete bitches Kindness anytime wins over looks Storm is absolutly right in her opinion Well, hot chicks always go for the bad boys. The nice guys they know are just there for when they need a shoulder to cry on, and to dump all her emotional garbage on him. She'll never have sex with him because she sees him as asexual. Kinda like a gay friend. Girls like drama! When they talk about their problems, they are not really looking for advice on fixing the issue, They just want somebody to share it with; and since she's dumping it all on the kind nice guy, she'll never sleep with him. How many times do you hear a woman complain about how much of a jerk her ex was and blah blah? Next thing you know, she's back with him, or somebody else exactly the same... Yeah, it may take a while for some to wise up. Problem is, when they do wise up, they are already old and shrivled up! Not only that, those tend to carry emotional baggage from their past relationships and maintain a bitter "guys a are all alike" mentality... and guess what? They'll dump it all on you! I agree. I can attest to this because I'm both kind and good looking, yet I have a very difficult time meeting girls. The guys I know who are total jerks have a lot of success with women. They are not all good looking. I just don't have have that "edge" or "rebel" look/personality that girls find attractive. I guess I don't ooze confidence that cocky/badboy guys expel, which girls like. People can smell my "niceness" from a mile away. They say "oh, you're so nice", which I view as a backhanded compliment. Those are words you don't want to hear. I'm kinda shy and quiet, but that's not the reason. If I had just a bit of badboy blood, things would be different, But I'm not like that. I guess I'm just a pussy, which is the OPPOSITE of a badboy! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 720000 ![]() 07/20/2009 11:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I guess I'm just a pussy, which is the OPPOSITE of a badboy! Quoting: Kind and Good Looking 729370That is exactly why women reject you. No woman wants to have children with a pussy. There are far too many truly bad men in the world, and a woman wants to have children with a man she believes can protect his family from all the bad male predators. There are plenty of good men who have no problem getting women because they are real men. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 643103 ![]() 07/20/2009 11:57 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This shouldn't even be a topic (I'm a guy). All of the guys I know wouldn't dare to act unkind in front of a woman that they are trying to attract (or a woman in general for that matter). But their kindness vanishes when there aren't women around. Unfortunately it's these kinds of guys that many women get stuck with once they are married. (women are more likely to act the way they really are around guys...guys are on their best behaviour) |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 729333 ![]() 07/21/2009 05:21 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 300884 ![]() 07/21/2009 06:29 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I agree. I can attest to this because I'm both kind and good looking, yet I have a very difficult time meeting girls. The guys I know who are total jerks have a lot of success with women. They are not all good looking. I just don't have have that "edge" or "rebel" look/personality that girls find attractive. I guess I don't ooze confidence that cocky/badboy guys expel, which girls like. People can smell my "niceness" from a mile away. They say "oh, you're so nice", which I view as a backhanded compliment. Those are words you don't want to hear. I'm kinda shy and quiet, but that's not the reason. If I had just a bit of badboy blood, things would be different, But I'm not like that. Quoting: Kind and Good Looking 729370I guess I'm just a pussy, which is the OPPOSITE of a badboy! Jerks get more pussy, true. BUT. Trust me, you don't want that kind of low quality pussy anyway! Let those low quality guys have their low quality gals. They truly deserve each other. What you want, is a girl who's sufficiently mature to appreciate your qualities, not a silly bimbo. Such girls are rare, but not THAT rare. I abso-friggin-lutely guarantee there's a free one somewhere in your vicinity. She'll find you. In fact, she probably already knows you exist, but you haven't piqued her interest sufficiently just yet. Yes, the true state of the game, is the female chooses the male. Let us be honest about this. YOU are the one who have to be "attractive". And you'll automatically attract the kind of girl that suits you, just by being yourself. Don't be sad about this. After all, what good would the other girls be to you anyway? I'm not a bully, and not especially good looking either, my wife chose me for entirely other reasons: Intelligence, personal integrity, and the ability to appreciate music, with the latter being the crucial factor. Those were HER preferences, and I was the answer. My point is, be YOURSELF, and be it in public, where you can be seen, and the right girl will find you. If you truly are "a pussy" as you say, the right girl will probably be a dominating one. Which is perfectly fine, you'll complement each others and be happy together. Who am I to judge? |