I got bitten by a spider (?black widow yesterday)

Hi everyone.. I never get much of a chance to get on here these days... But, today I am home recovering from yesterday's trauma..

I just need to rant a little bit...

A spider bit me in the wee small hours of the morning as Hubby and I were leaving the house (around 5,45am)... I did not see what type it was, and in fact, did not even think much about it, cause no poisonous ones where I am from.

About an hr later, I got a slight headache, but I dismissed it thinking it was just from my neck. I have degenerative spine disease in my neck and lumbar region from all my nursing years, and I often get headaches.

At about 10, i was hit with the worst headache that I have ever, ever had in my life. I could not see properly, I threw up a number of times..was dizzy, could not breathe properly. I hurt everywhere, my joints. Shaking, sweating and totally incapacitated. I was in so much pain, I literally thought I was going to die. Worse thing was, that I was not at home. I was babysitting for the day. The poor teenaged boys in the house spent the day looking after me and their 2 year old brother. I felt so bad and I could not contact hubby to come get me until school was near finished for the day.

On the way home, I got him to stop at one of those minute clinics, where the nurse refused to see me because of the headache and vomiting, telling me instead that I had to go to emergency or to see a doc... That was a huge joke!

Here was I in so much pain that I could barely stand up, let alone see her.. Explaining to her that we could not afford that, (kind of a crisis here... i had a molar break a few weeks back, and have been saving frantically to be able to afford to have it removed.. So, do we take me to see a doc at around $200.00 just to see him, without any tests? or do we wait and keep the precious little money we had and have to molar removed before I get an abcess requiring both medical and surgical intervention? Hmmm....?),

She wanted me to go get help, but could not understand that even paying emergancy fees off was not an option for us..So, I just walked out. I figured that as bad as I felt, if I were going to die, it would have happened by then.:(

We got home and I crawled into bed with a sick basin beside me...and sort of collapsed into a sleep at around 4.30pm. Woke at 5.30am.. no headache, but it has taken all day for my sight to come back properly.

I never want to experience that again!

Hubby feels so torn up with guilt about not being able to get me adequate healthcare... and I, I have to say am a tad pissed about it myself.

I think it is time for me to return to my own country, where at least if something goes wrong, I will not be turned away from medical help through lack of funds!

Thanks for letting me rant!