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Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack

 
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 02:27 AM
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Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
Link - [link to www.dailymail.co.uk]
Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack


Take a look at the person sitting across from you at the breakfast table. Are they complaining of a high temperature and a sore throat? Do they look a bit peaky, off colour? If so, you could be facing the dreaded pig flu. Time to break out the antiseptic hand gel and get on to the hotline.

But what if that sore throat and high temperature were replaced by a deathly pallor, constant moaning, blank staring eyes, congealed blood around the mouth - and bits of rotting flesh hanging off their body?

Then, dear reader, you would have to conclude that your nearest and dearest was not coming down with swine flu but instead turning into a zombie, one of the Undead.

And then hot drinks, paracetamol and Tamiflu would probably not fix it.

Read more: [link to www.dailymail.co.uk]

The Undead rise again: If zombies existed, they would rapidly destroy everything Humanity has built up

For as a report produced last week by a team of mathematical biologists makes clear, a zombie plague would present - how can I put this? - some interesting challenges for our health service.

Zombies are, of course, (probably) not real. But they form an increasingly big part of popular culture, and a group of Canadian scientists who model the spread of infectious diseases have calculated precisely what would happen if a plague of them did strike.

The results are not pretty - indeed, the report shows that only rapid use of overwhelming military force would save humanity from extinction - but the authors point out that, even though zombies may be imaginary, the findings may be pertinent to the spread of some devastating diseases that are all too real.

Published in Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress, the paper - entitled When Zombies Attack! Mathematical Modelling Of An Outbreak Of Zombie Infection - studies the likely course of a zombie plague with splendidly poker-faced seriousness.

And the lesson it draws? Faced with a legion of undead ghouls, humanity must react quickly and forcefully if it wants to come out on top.

As the scientists' paper concludes: 'The most effective way to contain the rise of the undead is to hit hard and hit often. It is imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly. Or else we are all in a great deal of trouble.'

Yes, I know this all seems preposterous, but stick with me - for this is a highly entertaining and oddly instructive journey.

In popular horror culture, a 'zombie' is a reanimated human corpse that feeds on living human flesh, infecting its victims in the process and making them zombies, too.

Unlike vampires, who are similarly undead but have guile, cunning and wit, zombies are typically portrayed as mindless automata, capable of doing little but relentlessly pursuing their quarry, usually with their arms held out in front of them while emitting a groaning dirge.

The legend of the Zombie originally arose among the Voodoo sorcerers of the Caribbean, but the idea of a plague of the Undead threatening civilisation was popularised in George Romero's classic 1968 low-budget film The Night Of The Living Dead.

This established the key elements of zombie lore: ghoulish moaning monsters, infecting humans by biting or spraying them with bodily fluids, and whose population increases exponentially as a result.

Zombies are relentless, impervious to pain, fear or reason and can be killed only by using brute force - smashing their brains to a pulp with a blunt instrument is best.

more at above link

Last Edited by SPUD on 10/28/2014 01:50 PM
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/26/2009 02:31 AM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
hiding
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 02:35 AM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
Zombie Apocalypse!

Lets all hope they are hilarious zombies such as those in Shaun of the Dead, not fast-moving terrors such as those in 28 days/weeks later.

I'll have my Cricket Bat Handy.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/26/2009 03:04 AM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
Zombie Apocalypse!

Lets all hope they are hilarious zombies such as those in Shaun of the Dead, not fast-moving terrors such as those in 28 days/weeks later.

I'll have my Cricket Bat Handy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 667842


we can only hope! although those in 28 days /weeks later were 'infected' not really zombies, they are sh!t scary lol.
besides, scientists will eventually create the virus disease or whatever you want to call it.
and the government will release it..
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:06 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
and so it begins...
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:11 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
I hate Zombies that run..
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:21 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
YAY!! banana2 Zombie DOOM is back on the table...MY FAV!
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:26 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
I hate Zombies that run..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 573835


x2
Too Silly
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08/26/2009 12:28 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
sorry, but this is SILLY.
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:30 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
[link to news.bbc.co.uk]

Science ponders 'zombie attack'

If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively.

That is the conclusion of a mathematical exercise carried out by researchers in Canada.

They say only frequent counter-attacks with increasing force would eradicate the fictional creatures.

The scientific paper is published in a book - Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress.

In books, films, video games and folklore, zombies are undead creatures, able to turn the living into other zombies with a bite.

But there is a serious side to the work.

In some respects, a zombie "plague" resembles a lethal, rapidly spreading infection. The researchers say the exercise could help scientists model the spread of unfamiliar diseases through human populations.

In their study, the researchers from the University of Ottawa and Carleton University (also in Ottawa) posed a question: If there was to be a battle between zombies and the living, who would win?

Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote: "We model a zombie attack using biological assumptions based on popular zombie movies.

"We introduce a basic model for zombie infection and illustrate the outcome with numerical solutions."

To give the living a fighting chance, the researchers chose "classic" slow-moving zombies as our opponents rather than the nimble, intelligent creatures portrayed in some recent films.

"While we are trying to be as broad as possible in modelling zombies - especially as there are many variables - we have decided not to consider these individuals," the researchers said.

Back for good?

Even so, their analysis revealed that a strategy of capturing or curing the zombies would only put off the inevitable.

In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity's only hope is to "hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often".

They added: "It's imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else... we are all in a great deal of trouble."

According to the researchers, the key difference between the zombies and the spread of real infections is that "zombies can come back to life".

Professor Neil Ferguson, who is one of the UK government's chief advisers on controlling the spread of swine flu, said the study did have parallels with some infectious diseases.

"None of them actually cause large-scale death or disease, but certainly there are some fungal infections which are difficult to eradicate," said Professor Ferguson, from Imperial College London.

"There are some viral infections - simple diseases like chicken pox have survived in very small communities. If you get it when you are very young, the virus stays with you and can re-occur as shingles, triggering a new chicken pox epidemic."

Professor Smith? told BBC News: "When you try to model an unfamiliar disease, you try to find out what's happening, try to approximate it. You then refine it, go back and try again."

"We refined the model again and again to say... here's how you would tackle an unfamiliar disease."

Professor Ferguson went on to joke: "The paper considers something that many of us have worried about - particularly in our younger days - of what would be a feasible way of tackling an outbreak of a rapidly spreading zombie infection.

"My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days."
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:31 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
sorry, but this is SILLY.
 Quoting: Too Silly 715675

SILLY??? Why Zombie doom is the doomiest doom EVER... on the doom scale ZOMBIE DOOM is OFF THE CHARTS... It doesnt get any better than this!
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:31 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
Zombie Apocalypse!

Lets all hope they are hilarious zombies such as those in Shaun of the Dead, not fast-moving terrors such as those in 28 days/weeks later.

I'll have my Cricket Bat Handy.


we can only hope! although those in 28 days /weeks later were 'infected' not really zombies, they are sh!t scary lol.
besides, scientists will eventually create the virus disease or whatever you want to call it.
and the government will release it..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 756660



I don't know what to think or not think about the seemingly comic notion of zombipocolipse. But something is me says, h1n1 vaccine.... Now I'm not contesting in any way that this is even remotely true.. it does, however seem possible. In that case I say BRING IT ON
SouthernAngel

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08/26/2009 12:32 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
It's all Michael Jacksons fault. damn that red leather jacket.
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:37 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
5a bump for the return of ZOMBIE DOOM!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:37 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
Scientists watch a little to much tv...
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:45 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
You all just do not get it.
The movies are trying to tell you something. So listen, We were all infected at birth. We are all zombies. The living/dead. With that in mind do your research. Ask yourself why/how did I become a zombie and then get your cure.
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:48 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
You all just do not get it.
The movies are trying to tell you something. So listen, We were all infected at birth. We are all zombies. The living/dead. With that in mind do your research. Ask yourself why/how did I become a zombie and then get your cure.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 755928


movies are based on reality, and what's possibly to come.
A zombie infection type disease is real. Anything is possible.
All it takes is for scientists to go that extra dstance. They are able to create all sorts of diseases/virus's.
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 12:54 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
Ok. I present my evidence that we are all the"zombie" Living/Dead.

1. Arrest warrants say on them "pick up the body" of _____
2. A Judge summons (ghost like) to court.
3 You appear (ghost like) in court.
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 01:17 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
Hehe... I'm from Ottawa and moving back there this weekend from having my summer in Alberta... I know some from Ottawa U :P (though I go to the other uni, Carleton University)

Ottawa U will be a half hour walk from where I live! I think this 'study' was done in good fun.
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 01:52 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
A zombie virus would realistically (yeah, zombie and realistic in same breathe) be created in the life extension area of research. Science would cure 'death' and create 'undead'.

At that point you're just a good permenant mind altering drug away from full blow zombies. This drug I see coming out of military research. A drug that permanently numbs the mind to moral/ethical dilemmas.

And there you go. Then just the ability to spread the zed virus and is WWZ!
Anonymous Coward
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Argentina
08/26/2009 02:57 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
my only questions to everybody is that ..if they cover up everything... could they ever covered this solano or zombi virus???as plutonio from facilityes this sombi sh.. can be free during a mega EQ..?
so lets say yes...???
i already read the max brooks book.. cames handy to the situation we r living in argentina..w the dif that this guys are very alive..
just in case im reforcing security in many aspects..
martin
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 03:27 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
:zed:
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2009 03:37 PM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
zombies
Dustwing
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Netherlands
09/04/2009 04:14 AM
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Re: Forget swine flu - could we cope with a plague of the Undead? Scientists ponder the threat of a zombie attack
Just turn your lawn mowers into zombie-killer-machines overnight !





GLP