Osama Bin Laden Interviewed on GLP!

Osama Bin Laden is a good friend of mine. It's sad really. You destroy a couple buildings, order the deaths of thousands; and people think that's all your about. Well, we're not. We both love long walks on the beach, fudgsicles, Wheel of Fortune, celebrity mags (guilty pleasure) and are overall well-rounded individuals.

But since people can't seem to get past the whole 'terrorist' thing, Osama thought it might be a good idea to do an interview with Osama for my good friends here at GLP. Here is a small excerpt from the conversation we had yesterday. Enjoy.

Me: Osama? What's up buddy?
OSAMA: Not much you godless tool of the Great Satan. I just finished Pilates. What's up with you?
M: Oh, nothing. Thanks for joining us here at GLP, how's work?
O: No probs, you filthy infidel. You know how it is; same dung different day. Seen any good flicks?
M: Let me think... Brokeback Mountain. That was damn good. Have you checked that out yet?
O: Come on, do you know who you're talking too?
M: Oh yeah; you and your 'issues'. You really need to get over that shit.
Think about how many good suicide bombers you've passed on just because they were gay. They can blow up buildings just as well as a straight guy, you know?
O: I know, I know. It's just how I was raised. I'm too old to change now.
When I find out someone is gay I just can't handle it. So, I stone them to death, or behead them, or shoot them. You know, whatever's easiest.
M: What a waste. Just think of all the innocent civilians who they could have taken with them. Well, I'm not going to stand here and lecture you.
O: Thanks.
M: What else is going on? How's the family?
O: Which one? (laughs)
M: Oh, right. You have a lot of wives and children. I never get tired of that joke. I don't know how you still have the energy to fuck all those goats. Are they putting Red Bull in your dialysis machine?
O: Fuck you, man. But I will still kill you last. How's your family?
M: Oh, you know. Still dead.
O: Yeah, sorry about that. So, I finished cleaning the sparrows from my gutters.
M: The what? Oh, right the 'sparrows' from your 'gutters'. How many were there?
O: About 20,000. And on Saturday they're removing a 30 lb dachshund from my ass.
M: Dachshund? (pause) I'm sorry, is 'dachshund' Haifa or Tel Aviv?
O: Just forget it.
M: You mean...
O: I said just forget it, ok?
M: So, did you attend the official GLP reunion of 2009?
O: Oh Allah be praised I did! Ever since they granted me MOD status, my camels have increased 3-fold!
M: Really?
O: Let's just say Mr Obvious won't be so obvious next time round! oh, and flight 104 has been rerouted.
M: Gotcha. Thanks for the tip, man. I'll see you later.
O: Peace out nigga.