i was with my mom when she died after caregiving for her with cancer she

after 2 days not speaking because of the illness..breathing the death rattle just before dying looked at me and said 'thank you' we had a signal 3 hand squeezes meant i love you she did that..

the most profound moment of my life and beautiful when she died.. she actually waited for my fiancee at the time she was dying and the doorbell rang..i said ---'that's ____ i gotta get the door don't die yet mom..she waited and saw us sitting by her side holding her hands she held on for aminute afte i let him in .. then died..i saw her last breath and a golden light in an instant flow through her.

her face lit up for a second..

i waited a bit befor calling hospice.. our big main coon cat who was shy the last few days from mom jumped up on the bed purring at her feet..

i poured myself a martini and turned up the willie nelson blues album i played for her earlier..

the priest came to give a final blessing (and it was storming like crazy with hail)

the hospice guy came and pronounce time of death because you need a professional to call death ;)

one thing he said to me was ' ____ i can tell _____was loved by the way she looks..she was cared for...i go out to many death calls and this was a cared for woman..--of course i cried like a baby..of course i would care for my mother!!

before she died..when she could talk she said
'funny i was your mother and now you are my mother in some ways'

i said 'Mom you wiped my ass and cared for me..why wouldn;t i do the same for you? I love you Mom'