Listen to classic Art Bell Coast to Coast Radio here!

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[link to nextgenfmradio.com]

I highly recommend the "she Who Remembers Archive" huge data base and has lost of Coast to Coast.

Scroll to the bottom part of the page to see the list of the contents in the archive.

[link to www.gnosticmedia.com]

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WANNA TAKE A RIDE???

IN the middle of the night, from the high desert, this is Coast to Coast AM!

Ring the Anal Bell.
Bang the Anal Gong.
Tighten the Anal Noose.

Art Bell is hanging upside down like a possum from an all night truck stop diner sign, basking in the neon glow.

I went to the link and my computer crashed

Turn on the radio at any point during an Art Bell interview with Richard C. Hoagland, and you'll hear RCH's shrill voice shrieking, "WHY ISN'T THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA COVERING THIS?!"

" It's been a longtime dream ! "Art thinks to himself as he finally finds the courage that's taken him actually thirty-something years to muster up....He signs up for his first buddy skydive where he feels quite safe he'll be attached to a veteren skydiver while they both leap into the death valley just outside Vegas!
The day finally arrives Art makes it gets on the plane it's just him , his instructor , a co-pilot and a pilot on the plane. They get 30,000 ft. The wind factor looks good, infact it's one of the clearest days with no issues that might make this dive not a sucess , even the co-pilot comments on how it's one of the nicest days he's seen all year and almost a guaranteed good if not  incredible  experience for any first timer.  It's that time, the instructor puts the parachute pack on Art, He clasps Art's attachment belt and to the edge of the plane they get He says " Ready for the experience of a lifetime Art?" Art looks into the earth smiling and says " Yes my good man!" but his thoughts are racing, he's sweating, it's a most terrifying moment ..he starts to feel uneasy ...The Instructor asks again " Art you don't have to do this - Are you SURE you're ok and ready? " Art sweaty palms and all slaps him on the shoulder again saying " Of course my good man! Let's go!"  They get outside and in a split second the instructor leaps out and Art yells " NO I'm not ready! NO!!!!! and he unclasps and grabs his instructor 's pack off him and the guy falls to earth no parachute on him freefall to his demise!!!!!!!! Art steps back in the plane and sits down quietly shuts the hatch door and tells the pilot TAKE ME HOME MY KIND SIR.

The Renaissance Faire has come to Pahrump for a week.  Art found a job as a Serving Wench, wearing a peasant dress, wandering around the Faire like a drunkard in an Irish novel, speaking broken Elizabethan English and giving handjobs to tourists behind the Ye Olde Cockfighting Tent.

Two weeks later, the Faire is ready to leave.  Art, who has never taken off his costume or broken character in all that time, is faced with a life decision.  One path leads home to a doublewide trailer in the middle of the gods' own fucking nowhere, with a shrill foreign wife who speaks English with an accent as bad as his fake RenFaire accent, a baby who also screams in a foreign language, a part time job on the radio stroking geeks, morons, loonies and Hoaxland -- and the last time they had Greek Night it was his turn on the sawhorse but that bitch Whitney wouldn't give it up.

The other path leads to a lifetime of pretending he's someone else.

Art's ham call sign goes Silent forever.

the people in arts toilet hide while the storm continues til ' about 3 pm, the waters calm, the flush of the world has commenced - all is well in toilet hole land, they begin to get on with the recovery effort and suddenly the sky turns black again at 4 pm the full eclipse starts all over and the logs from heaven drop except this time the great man in the sky must be angered because they can hear great thunderous roars!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as if the sun god is angry!

Art looks in the distance outside his window ; the stars are aligned, the -pale moon is waxing, Jack Nicholson is off in the distance dancing around like the Joker from Batman ..the seldom ever seen werewolves and Ozzy Osbourne from Diary of a Madman are all out  in the dessert barking and  howling at the red moon, these kinds of nights don't ever happen..it's like once in a blue moon but not, so many things seem right..the ancients said that Mars was the closest it's ever been to the earth in 2000 years this evening and even Jupiter is crossing Saturns path while Neptune, Uranus, Pluto all can be seen lining up to reveal just beyond them the 13th Planet  -- it's a very very special night on this night Art also does the extraordinary, he picks up his laundry basket and proceeds to do 4 loads of laundry - this time even taking a risk and using detergent.

Art keeps Rose McGowan's leg from Grindhouse under his pillow next to Billy Meier's Arm

imagine Art wearing a turban sitting on the streets of Calcutta snake charming a cobra ...but instead of playing music or egging it on with the instrument he's having a coast to coast interview like any other night asking it questions about ufos and the coming global superstorm

Well, it will do that if you are still using Internet Explorer 3.0

art tried to board the hale bopp ship but was rejected for
> improper 
> attire.....

Immediately upon awaking in the morning  Art goes to his bathroom in a half-blind stupor and pisses all over the side wall  then flushes a clean toilet and goes back to sleep.

Imagine Art on a swing high up going back and forth advertising Kashi food products in a grass skirt.

After Art watched the Zapruder film he called up his uncle in Texas , he got the answering machine and left a message with just two words " Good Job!" and hung up.

art wears a t-shirt that says :   '' i am the person my mother warned me about ''

Your responses are hilarious. Thank you for riding the anal star ship.

art was seen pushing a cart under a red umbrella in the middle of the desert in Nevada with the sign ''native lobsters for sale''.

messages from art's doublewide are picked up on an old Bermuda Triangle shortwave radio, designed to receive signals from old war planes that disappeared.

Imagine sitting in a corner cafe in Paris having a bottle of champagne with a  local french woman you just met, things are going great, she's even understanding the english although she seems more comfortable talking french, suddenly you hear someone behind you causing a fuss , the noise gets more and more to where you have to turn your head it's Art!!!!!! He's arguing back and forth with the waiter about how this is the worst steak he's ever had and it's not even hannitized! ahahahahaahhahaahaha " Garcon ! Do you know who I am ?????" he says as he stands up and starts sticking his finger at the waiters chest digging it in each time he's pointing - the waiter is listening to this entire thing but he hasn't said not even one word yet to Art he's just listening to Art piss and moan like he's doing a 20 minute segment on coast about the coming global superstorm- the whole place is now fixated on this argument that looks like it could end in a physical scruffle none of the other waiters and waitresses are really jumping in , their just standing there like onlookers to see what happens..the waiter standing with Art making the scene finally says 4 words " Monsuer, Please SIT DOWN!" Art terrified easily quickly obeys, sits down and takes a 4 coil shit in his pants right there in the cafe and finishes his steak.

Art put Airyn's retainer up for sale on ebay.

am saving this thread for posterity, i'm literally laughing with tears in my eyes

God bless the GLP

Imagine Art on top of the empire state building, he's beating his chest like kong, it's a long way down he thinks as he stares into New York Traffic, he's come a long way ...with one hand he's holding the side of the building, with the other hand he's holding Richard, 19.5 hyperdimensional Hoagland, Rich's yelling ART !!!! what are we doing here! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL the black helicopters Bill Cooper has been ranting and raving about start showing up it's war! they're giving art everything they got but he's not budging he smashes one crumples one in his hand easier then a piece of notebook paper..he climbs his big Kong legs up a few more stories ...then he slips and falls 100 stories yelling " 911 was an inside job!!!!!!!! Bring Back the Fairness Doctrine!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine this scenario,
 
You get on a wicked long plane flight man this is like 20 hrs to Ireland, It's just been a horrendous trip, the bathroom on the plane was stopped up with green colored logs  the 250 lb Man with the Walrus Mustache that's been sitting next to you the entire time pinched off, so you had to piss all over them and the person after you had to piss on your piss, and the person after them had to piss on their piss, essentially it became a conglomerate mixture of who knows...the stewardess wasn't hot, neither did she have an ass that was even closely resembling something you could stare at while sitting passing time, you had to walk around but it didn't help the numbing feeling and the constipation from the airline food they keep to avoid these green conglomeration scenarios,  so finally you get to Ireland the airport is somewhat ok , a jolly old fellow helps you get your luggage outside, You make it inside the cab alls well then you run into a Bagpipe parade of 40 men in kilt skirts ...you casually watch and the last person you see is Art, He's wearing a black mock kilt he's the last person at the end of the line and he's not wearing any underwear, he's got a big boner that's sticking out of his kilt

art had a yardsale but was forced to keep airyn's bigwheels under the carport with a ''not for sale'' sign on it.

tired of having airyn going thru his closet, he buys a cheezy sauder do-it-yourself armoire and puts them all under lock and key.