OP, you don't call out for God, he calls out for you. When he calls for you, he is bringing His children home. I tried to run even with Satan's help. When Satan knew I was serious about learning the bible, he was pissed and put obstacles in my path. Embrace you are being called, ask for guidance and understanding. I tried attending church and tried several different ones, but never found one I fit into. I belong to Jesus's church, not a church of this world. My suggestion to you would be to start with the book of John in the New Testament. The Bible does not have to be read in chronological order. A good website to visit for questions is gracethrufaith.com. Read back over all the questions posted by readers and it will help give you an understanding. I hope this helps you and good luck on your journey.