What will it take for us to actually be able to do what we're supposed to do?

Every night of my life, I lay on my bed, trying to figure out ways to break out of my physical body, trying to 'manifest' a light body, to see with my third eye, to FEEL something out there that proves I'm more than this shitbody, to hear my higher self, other entities, the merkaba, the astral plane, all that new age bullshit I read about since years ago, every single night, and I feel NOTHING but some mild tingling in my energy centers or whatever.. I see NOTHING through my 3rd eye, NOTHING.. I feel nothing that makes me think I'm a mystical multi-dimensional being, even though I've convinced myself that I am, for my own sanity.. so far, nothing proves it though, and after a while I started to realize nobody within New Age had achieved this either, all these characters throw around terms and words and mystical esoteric teachings, but there's nothing to prove any of it in any tangible way..

I know I am trapped in an illusion, but I feel like I'm trying to express myself in a language I dont know.. I am simply at a loss when it comes to see through it, I dont know what to think, or what to feel, or what to do, in order to truly break the veil and manipulate the illusion and see the underlying fabric, and transport myself to a better place, and see myself for who I really am, I simply have no motherfucking idea how to do it, and it KILLSSS me.. I just wanna BREAK OUT already!! I know there's gotta be SO MUCH MORE to this fake reality and existence, and all my life I've felt like I'm being shown 5% of it and the rest of it I can't see or feel or touch because I'm trapped in this body, in this dimension, in this illusion... It's like being trapped ina goddamn cage all your life.. with no idea of what the outside world looks like..