aether, could you direct me, to a place of learning what you do, site/pdf etc... as I do go places, yet my control, and sense of what were and how are quite jumbled, often times I misread as it is unclear

Like I said before, it is for me, like seeing through a clean spot in a dirty window, blurry, and jumping from there to here, sporadic, and I have to basically meditate for about an hour before anything happens.