Yes it is a special kind of suck. I started crying silently but profusely when they first hooked me up to the heavy and saw it coming down the IV tube. I had held it in the whole time up to that point. I did some research and knew it exactly what it was and what it was going to do to my body. The nurse had to handle the iv bag with gloves. I was afraid of something for the first time in a long time.

Gives you quite the inner strength and perspective when all is said and done. An overall worthy experience if you survive.