Alegro, my brother,

I hear you! But another great man said: "For him who has ears to hear, let him hear."

Think about those words and read the New Testament.

AND pray to God for understanding. In all of your searches--and believe me there are very few rocks I have not looked under, have you bothered to exercise your God-given free-will to say: "If there is a God, please show me!"

So simple, but if we don't use our free-will God will often do nothing.

Then you have to be honest with yourself about what the answer is, because it can come in different forms.

Keep asking...