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REPORT ABUSIVE REPLY
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Message Subject
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How do I become a real "bad boy" after decades of being a "nice guy"?
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Poster Handle
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mk ultra |
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Post Content
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...
OP, you sound very patient. It sounds like she may need some counseling. I can tell you for most happy couples sex only gets better as you grow older together, especially if you stay fit and take care of yourselves physically and because of the trust and bonding you develop with time. I do things now I had no idea existed when we first got married, its exciting. And I love it when he comes to me asking to try something new, its exciting for me that he wants to keep exploring me in that way of pleasing me. I try to be spontaneous and exciting with him as well. Sure people get dry spells now and then do to life, stress, work, etc. but if she is telling you no more sex, that is something serious that she might be dealing with. Is she okay physically? does anything hurt during sex? she may be afraid to tell anyone. just some thoughts.
Quoting: mk ultra 5813027 She and I have very few secrets, and she's told me that she never liked my body. I'm twice her size in build - she's very slender and my chest is twice the size of hers. She's built to dance and I'm built for heavy lifting. We're both in good shape and have taken serious backcountry hikes together. Appearance together means a lot to her, and I can never be sufficiently slender for her taste, even if I was skin and bones. Nothing hurts during sex except she gets dry. We lube everything and then try everything, and she's OK with that. She would never live with me, and refuses couple's counseling. I've heard that it really doesn't work 80% of the time, and many counselors don't encourage and force couples together. I've no interest in what's right - only what works. Unfortunately it does sound like a bad match. I truly believe in the physical chemistry component for a long lasting relationship. I was always attracted to the marky mark build on a guy and luckily my hubby has that type of build. During my dating years I dated all types, but for some reason, I had a certain 'type' of guy in physical stature that I desired. Perhaps it was programming, IDK, but I could never marry someone I wasn't physically attracted to. Its all about chemistry when you first meet. The rest are just crossing stuff you would like in a mate off the list, but physical attraction is first, if you kid yourself about this, you usually wind up divorced. Lots of people panic and marry the first person that says yes at age 30 something... then years later they claim that they are not attracted to them anymore, well the truth is they were never really attracted to them to begin with, they just didn't want to be lonely and single. We had GREAT chemistry for 4 years, and after that, it was always more difficult, but we always had some sex. Like I said, I need to either get her back on my terms or find someone hotter. Whoever it is must be 1/2 my weight and 1/3 my age, and reasonably tall. Fuck anyone that says it can't be done - I'll be as bad as necessary to make it happen. it sounds like you both need a break. like other posters have said, you need to care a little less. Do not try to be anything you are not. Knowing what you don't want is half the battle and you sound like you actually know what you are looking for. Just let it happen, don't try so hard. Engage in activities/hobbies where you meet people and be friendly, not desperate. Its funny, being married, I've been out of the dating game for a long time, yet when I used to work, I would get hit on sometimes (usually after work at an outing when everyone was drinking) and a couple of the office flirts would be so blatant with their cute talk - but I shrugged it off, and I am not some gorgeous gal, just an average gal who is easy going around co-workers. I never went in that direction and returned the flirting, as I love my hubby and would never cheat, nor do I need the fleeting attention of a co-worker, but I refuse to believe it is so hard for men and women to meet these days. I had a friend email me last week to tell me about an old co-worker who was asking about me and how he missed me, lol... I was like he needs to get a life, I'm married. I guess my point is, if I was single, I would be out living it up with friends and having fun. And dating lots of people even if it was just 'friend dates' That is what you need to do right now, have some fun and not worry about meeting someone -- it will happen all on its own.
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