It's nice that - that path has worked for you guys. Sadly, that is a big part of what made me what I am today. I'm a 30 year old male, and I am still haunted by what my childhoold upbringing in churches.

Believe me when I tell you that I want nothing more than to 'go into god's hands' -- but there is nothing I can do to make that happen. I tried and tried and tried and tried and tried for YEARS and I can come to no other conclusion that - that is not the way for me.

In fact, over the years, i've tried to go back a number of times, reading the bible, trying different religions, different approaches, different angles and that just makes me feel worse.

My family and friends are so caught up in that and as an outside observer who wanted to be apart of it for a long time, I can now see all the flaws and what it can do to people.

My mother, for example, believes all of her dreams are from God. She had a dream that me, my wife, and my son were in a car wreck. She called me at 2:00am in the morning, told me that god told her I was going to die...even at 30 years old, and no longer under the influence of faith, It'll still bother you..especially when you are, who I am..

Nah, that's the last thing I need.