Thanks, You've really given me alot to think about. I've been looking through you previous posts, theres alot to read, and haven't been thru all of them yet. I suspect you may have known, if not he is alot older than me. He is 45, and in fact has 3 sons, one of whom is about a year younder than me, another who is 21, and one who is 19. You know it all started as something not so serious. At first he was someone who I could be with, and not be so lonley, but something not too serious with the burdon of schoolwork. I know that must make me look really bad, but its the truth. I always enjoyed talking to him, we have alot of the same interests, and in fact met in an anthropology class. I think maybe you are right about being more refined. Not someone who I even felt like he needed 'fixing'.Its different from alot of younger guys. Latey its been getting more serious, I don't know where its going. I do love him, and he says he loves me too. As far as his marriage, he tells me they were waiting for their kids to be grown, and they had always planned on seperating. Maybe he's just telling me that? I don't think he would lie about it though. They were way past the 7 year mark though, past 20 years in fact.I do worry sometimes that he will go back.
Oh I tried to quote just a portion of the above response, but I don't know how to do that, sorry.
Quoting: Charlott Oh Charlotte, sometimes when I talk to people, I get a sense of what they're going through. I call it using my whole soul to perceive them.
My dear, there's such a vast gap in your ages. Of course it is possible, but he has passed the peak of his youth, and quite frankly is now middle aged, isn't that correct? While you are in the first flower of your loveliness and innocence. Of course he has fallen for you.
It's lame to say he's waiting for his sons! His sons are MEN, not seven year old boys, but old enough to easily cope with divorce.
Of course his maturity is attractive. Actually, you may find another young man closer to your age can be quite mature as well as share all of your same generational attributes.
I don't know if you're a spiritual person. If so, I hope you take this to God in prayer. If not, you should talk to a very trusted mentor about this. That way they can help you process your feelings.
It doesn't seem to be a situation where you are being cared for with the utmost respect. To make a friendship with an older man, and then an honorable man would praise you and build you up, but not seduce you. It really is a boundary violation, and only after a long long time after being divorced and then slowly courting you would you know that he'd struggled with the age difference and devoted himself to you. To jump into a relationship with such a age gap, it seems irresponsible of him. I know you're an adult and he's an adult, but it seem unfair to toy with your feelings when he cannot commit to you solely.
Tell me more. I think that marrying someone that much older with children will be overwhelming to you.
I'm sure that you have so very much to offer, and I hope you'll keep reading what I wrote earlier.
I'm not criticizing you, for my perception of you is that you possess a great capacity to love, for your soul is able to see into him. That is a great gift, Charlotte. I hope you lavish that on someone who equally can see into your soul. Is this man, that person?
