Okay fine I will post most of it.

Hi pokerphases,

I am a coward so I sent you an email. Yep strapped for Christmas. don't know if anyone can help. But here is my lame story. I just feel like telling it.

I was running a business for women and had to be named an owner in order to get training etc. I got paid $12.00/ hr IF i got paid. I became a person who ran food drives,clothing drives, health seminars, etc, every year through the business and we would donate tons of food to our local community charity. Other stuff too. A lot of work.

I had employees, so I provided jobs, often at the expense of me not being paid but I could not work 16 hours a day. the whole business was my responsibility, member trainer, health info provider, emotional support provider, entertainer for those who were bored while working out and then had all the business logistics, finances, payroll, data input, computer to keep operating, reports marketing, employee training blah blah blah. Then I got sick. Really sick. I got several auto immune diseases that affect my spine, intestines, skin, joints, and all tendons, especially my spine and tendons. Nobody would take over the job for me to get treatment and reclaim my own health so we had to shut up shop. I was not being paid anyway.

I have been thru tons of medical procedures and have sold anything we could sell, cars, bug out property, eagle scout patches, all of my gold jewelry,all old coins, silver etc. Any thing that would actually sell just to pay the bills. We are still behind on most of our bills and now I cannot take the drugs for my disease because the drugs have affected my lungs. We do not have TV anymore and we have cut wherever we could find a place to cut, but not the internet.. My husband has 2 kids that do not live with us but we pay for their medical becasue they both have xxxxxx disease and would not be able to get much of any help if he did not get them covered. But we do pay for it all right. It is not cheap. But because no agency looks at what we do actually pay for, medical insurance and medical bills, we are not elidgible for any help.
(to you shitheads who think anyone can get help)
Recently we were sued for still owing a small amount of unpaid medical bills. I have been denied disability 2 times and do not have a date with a judge until March. I am not eligible for food stamps or unemployment. I turned 50 this month but we could not celebrate my birthday with my husband because of no money to do so. Not a card, not flowers. Nada.

I got a small turkey in Oct to have for Christmas. I grew my potatoes and my green beans in my garden this year, But since I cannot take any meds for this clump of diseases I got from stress and whatever else causes these weird diseases, I am now in a decent to tons of crippling pain. I actually cannot cook a dinner or even much less bake cookies now because it takes me too long and it is too hard on my body. Besides we are also almost out of sugar and flour. Need to keep it for bread.In a bread machine.

My husband made me a cane out of a shovel handle and a cherry tree branch. We could not afford to buy a decent one. I do not have the money for the tools needed to help me around the house. Of course my husband works all day and spends 3 hours of his day commuting so he is too tired to do house chores as well.We do not own a home, as his ex took his 15 years ago. If I need to vacuum to keep my lungs clear and keep allergies at bay so that my body does not go further into attack mode against me,,,,,,,well to vacuum I have to sit on the floor and scoot. I cant bend over and we can't buy a new vacuum cleaner.

My oldest sister just sent me a hate email for my birthday and she is having all the family over to her house for Christmas. But since I got this surprise hate mail I do not dare show up to her house. Her anger is really to someone else who abused us 30 some years ago, but I guess she has not figured that out. I went to thanksgiving at a family get together and was nearly crippled the next day from the stress of it I guess. So another reason not to show up to christmas dinner.

Anyway, we are strapped and alienated from family this year. It totally sucks.

I ddi not read all 10 pages of your thread because I am too tired from doing things that I can do around the house. But if anyone else who was contacting you and wanting to help ,,,,,well, if I fit your criteria, maybe someone could lend a hand. I have lended a hand to so many people but I am too much of a coward with too much pride to tell anyone I know that i could really use some help. No we cannot even buy new socks this year. No tree, no presents, maybe mac and cheese for dinner. Don't know yet what we will do. But I cannot cook a friggin turkey no matter how small. It does not fit into a crock pot. LOL

Anyway, thanks for listening and thanks for having a kind heart even if you think it is black. LOL. NOT.


I think I took care of you. Let me know.