i messed up

what man? not trying to be offensive but the way you put all your writing together is confusing..

are you saying the marine corps ruined you as a person or something?

no to clarify i have a friend with a super hot sis who sent me care packages when i was in iraq in 05 and 09. I screwed the pooch cuz i got out and moving on her i messed around with the fiance of said buddy's mom and sis.
2nd unrelated buddy makes life hard cuz he's my best friend; and even though he has a girl...he's a rockstar and chicks love him. And when i talk with them when his band plays they ONLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM.
Hope that clears things up.

OP you are suffering from sever adrenal fatigue due to mental and spiritual stress. You also probably suffer from PTSD and tons of negative programming from the military. I'm a vet myself with a vet wife so I understand what you're feeling.

Here's some simple but difficult advice.

1. Totally reject the materialistic mindset taught my the military culture

2. Stop masturbating in order to re-order your psyche, and revitalize your endrocrine system

3. Learn to meditate in order to work through your emotional baggage in a deliberate manner, gradually decreasing stress. (marijuana used in moderation can help with this step)

4. Begin activating your chakras; this will simultaneously reactivate your endocrine system

5. As your stress releases begin to re-connect to people and nature

6. Live in love with a resolute new positive attitude. Your life will take shape accordingly!

I read: I fucked up.

I would tell anyone joining the Military that if you join, for fuck's sake stay in and retire or die trying. I've known too many people who get out and the world shows them it's ass.

That said, OP sounds pretty pathetic. Maybe not a "fat chick" on the outside, but internally there's a fat chick. I hate it when people can't recognize their equals.

OP - Pick the prettiest of the fat chicks and inspire her to find happiness. The weight will come off.

Sounds to me like your a dick! I guess you can thank the marine corps for that! How can you expect to find a good woman when you are so judgmental? In your post you insult the women you have been with and others you don't even know based on their size "fat friends". If all you want is a girl for her looks and you screw others just to screw then you are getting what you deserve. Seems like you still need to grow up! XxxHotGirlxxX

you dunno where i've been guy. That said, your defending a pair of women willing to screw things up between me and my buddy cuz one of um 1. Wanted to hit a marine, and 2. The other one was cool with picking up something her mom hit cuz she's suicidal/dying for that baby/wanting to "punch above her level no matter what." (her words not mine)
you dunno where i've been guy; you or person above you. Judge all you want. Me and my bros know what hell looks like. Blame me for trying to find a angel in all this madness who gives a shit about her health. I'm certainly not a picky guy, just don't look like you have full blown diabetes!

This

Also, OP, you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself. But that will come with time.

wtf are you on about?

What a load of shit! These women raped you did they? A Marine - did they do it at gun point?

YOU screwed it up and you alone. Plenty of people get drunk and don't screw around when they are engaged. What would you be like married a year or two? Thank heavens the girl dumped you ass - her life would have been hell.

You even hate your best friend. You are jealous of him and I bet would screw a girl he loved if you could. Of course you would blame it on her and booze.

Would you like you as a best friend? Would you like to marry a girl who acts like you?

You don't like yourself and you have no respect for yourself, because you know how you are.

Start treating the people who love you as you would like them to treat you - then you may start having self respect and may start liking yourself and seeing your own good points. Then life will start being good.

Don't give me, the you don't know what I seen man. You have no idea what I have seen or many, many others.

I don't betray my family or friends - drunk, sober or any other way.

What's up Jarhead what rank are you brother.

Jar head is an apt name for this one. He's pretty fried. It's sick what the Corps does to people.

Do the good times ever happen?

Yup, once you figure it out!

Yeah I know I was there. I thank God that it never happened to me. But I understand. The guilt, the pain, it's almost as part of your soul has died.

I saw something nasty in the woodshed.

ten hut, straight ahead marine, what is your major malfunction, your sounding like a mamas boy, you better screw your head back on or I'll rip it off and puke down your neck.
Listen up lover boy, the Corp spent time and money turning you into a lean mean green fighting machine bad ass killer.
Now your sounding like a little whining puppy. What you need is need is new deployment orders, here they are... save up some money and sign up for a cruse ship voyage for singles, your orders are to just meet as many ladies and dance with as many as you can and just talk and have fun... work out in the gym and swim in the pool, eat like king in the chow hall... these are your orders, now get the hell off my LZ.

I saw a man who was roasted in a tank for three days. He could not get out because the hatch expanded with the heat.

I saw men with no faces - blown off.

So I quess I saw aomething nasty too.

I saw the body of a soldier who had committed suicide by stepping in front of a moving train in Germany.

His mangled flesh was all zipped up randomly in a body bag. I saw a leg sliced at the shin with the bottom pant and shoe still attached. I saw a piece of head with one eye on top of a piece of winter coat. The whole thing smelled like wet pennies in a butcher shop. We were supposed to identify the body.

I also assisted in a pacemaker removal from a dead retiree who was going to be cremated, and assisted in a vasectomy.

Sounds like everything you are dealing with is because of your dumb choices.Anit but one person can change the direction of your life and thats you.

Stop drinking. Get help to stop drinking. Nothing will be good until you stop drinking. Most importantly, stop drinking. And the best advice of all: stop drinking.

Some of this stuff is hard to not think about once seen, isn't it? The train suicides don't know what they leave behind I don't think.

No wonder people suffer from PTSD.

Life can be really hard. Kudos to you. I could never be in the medical profession. Thank God some people can do it. They are worth their weight in gold and could never be paid enough.

It appears that the Op has left his post and these types of negative posts intentionally sully their chosen topic.