Truth: A message to God
Have always believed in something higher than all of us... That being god. I don't know what my purpose was in this life? But, I did it wholeheartedly with open arms to all with Love what is instinctually built within this human vessel of mine. This is all I know... Yes, I'm human and I've made mistakes as many of us do. Do I regret some of them yes! Did I learn from them? Yes... Would I do them over again? Yes... Some of my best memories are in the mistakes. The Wild side so to speak... It felt good. But, not who I really am deep down inside. I despise the spotlight & would never attemp to go there, private that's the way I like it. I respect people and there choice of religion or whatever it is they practice. Life should be fun and magical.... Childlike. Until we have to grow up of course. *•*
So this year a question in my head was.... " How can an individual love God first"? I can see my children whom I love with every ounce of my being. I can touch them, hold them, feel them, smell them. How can I possibly admit to putting God first? It's been an ongoing battle & refusal down to the core... Believing he's there just refusing to admit it, Rebellious, you could call it?
Last night... I Broke down... A deep pain... Finally admitting that I've always loved him... But, it took all of this!!! To say to myself... My heart won't let God go. Not yesterday, not today, not ever! Do I regret this part of myself? Yes...
Whatever happens to any of us in this Life, however long we are here? Whoever we are? I can see clearly again & enjoying my days. My heart is wounded from my actions alone & in time... time will heal all things. Truth: I can finally say this heart of mine belongs to the # 1 Love of my Life "God"... So in turn with his Grace I can continue to Love my family & the rest of humanity.