How do I break this LOOP?

Find a new direction.

You need more willpower if you want it go get it.

Buddhism and Gnosticism talk about the ways in which beings free themselves from the loop. Who knows if it has anything to do with anything but I'm sure you'd find it interesting if you haven't already researched them.

Yes.

Love what is. Look up the work. What is important is how you feel about you.

I felt trapped. Found a way out, but its transforming me.

This is the dying wimper of the old me, clinging onto old ideals that are outdated and impossible.

I used to be this little black kid at a rave.


looking around at this nonsense around me in disbelief and confusion.

"Accept and don't regret"

My new motto.

acknowledge your pain and then release it.

Whenever it comes to you do this.

Just say out loud what it is. Don't judge it.

Then visualize it leaving you.

Do this every single time.

Eventually you will be free.

"bull shit statement that ultimately means nothing and helps in no way because theres nothing to be helped/done"

You don't do this for the benefit of the thing. The thing knows not. You do this to benefit yourself.

I think you are saying you're like the little black kid at the rave, not that you are that kid? Either way, that kid is awesome and so is that white bearded dude! I think that video is interesting and funny. i liked seeing people be alive with weird ridiculousness.

I say that the idea of pain avoidance is absolutely wrong. Yes, for bodily safety! but not emotional safety.
And I'm not saying to seek it out, altho i've done a little nervous dabbling with that,, trying to be very careful with my cowardly unexplored self for now. My one intense experience was completely unexpected, but could have been a fluke since the specific horror hasn't returned. tho I'm sure it will! we go waaaay back, and i don't believe it could be that fuggin easy.

Im not saying this is you, but is what's brought to mind - becoming numb to things or even accepting the pain isn't right. Maybe accept that there will be pain! but when it arrives don't try to be buddha.. or not that exactly -sorry! more like -be buddha experiencing himself as an agony filled mortal wretch. See what is in there! follow the tug or stab or hollowing - you follow it by Feeling it. Use your buddha eyes to observe what you find. let your human eyes cry all they want.

And it's true that everything is pointless. And it's just as true that it isn't.
The cool thing about that contradiction is that You get to choose!

my chosen reality is that not pointless is much! more interesting than pointless. and truly i don't even think about 'point' any more -- I think about possibilities. and as individuals and as a group, we've barely scratched the surface.

so much is Bullshit, arrogant assertions based on nothing! Everything is pre-determined by fucking assholes bent on destruction. So I've decided to try to do some of my own determining and i highly recommend it. even though it frequently uncovers hidden agonies. now i try and say hello.

peace to you! sorry for disorganization of thoughts. i hope it makes some sense.

i like your motto