Somebody Just Stole My Social Security Number and Used It To Buy A Smart Phone

I got a letter in the mail today from Verizon Wireless, thanking me for buying one of their smart phones, signing a contract for wireless service, and telling me how I can access my online account.

Except that I didin't buy a smart phone from Verizon, and I didn't sign no fucking contract, and I DIDN'T AGREE TO OPEN NO FUCKING ONLINE ACCOUNT! SOME FUCKING DOUCHEBAG STOLE MY FUCKING SSN OFF THE INTERNET OR SOME OTH FUCKING PLACE AND DID IT FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know how you have to give out your SSN to all those people whenever you do anything now? Like registering your car in New Jersey, opening a bank account, going to the hospital, or buying one of those nifty IPhones?

Yeah well. There's a little problem with this. Once your SSN starts floating around out there on the internet thingie, all kinds of people are out there fishing for it. And sooner or later, one of them is going to hook onto it.

And do you know what somebody can do, once they have your SSN?

ANY FUCKING THING THEY WANT.

That's what.

I was just now looking at my Socialist Security Card, and right there on the front, it says NOT TO USED FOR IDENTIFICATION.

But trying doing just about anything money related without showing some boob your SSN.

So anyway. I call up Debbie (she wouldn't give me her last name for some reason) at the Verizion fraud hotline thingie, and she starts asking me questions, so she can "help" me with this problem.

The FIRST question she asked my was "What's your Social Security number?"

I say, Debbie honey (she seemed really nice, so I called her Honey) isn't how this fucking mess got started in the first place, by me giving some fucking scumbag my Social Security number??????????????????????????????????????

She answers that she can't help me with my Social Security number theft thing unless I give her my Social Security number. So she can use it to check into the problem with somebody stealing my Social Security number, and that she can't help me with my identity theft problem unless I give her the very same information the other fucking crook worked so hard to get so they could fuck me over.

I asked Debbie to give me her Social Security number, as an act of good faith, but for some strange reason, she was reluctant to do that. She would tell me what her last name was, either.

Had to scratch my head a little about that one.

After all. I'm an honest person. What's the problem?



There's a lesson to be learned here.

When I figure out what it is, I'll get back to you.

But first, I'm off to the police station, to talk to the nice man there. I hope i don't get shot.